BUT it gets WORSE?.
So not only do I find out I am STILL not pregnant but ANOTHER one of my colleagues is pregnant! 9 weeks along?
It isn?t that I?m not happy for her of course, it?s just I can?t make sense as to why it?s STILL not happening for ME! I put on a brave and happy face at work but I really felt like I was stabbed in the gut. She WAS very considerate of me. She took me aside and let me know in private (which I really appreciated) and I gave her a big sincere hug and a kiss. I am a REALLY good actress when it comes to hiding how I feel however. I have ALWAYS had to put on a happy face growing up but THIS is just eating me up inside. The LAST thing I want is for HER to feel badly! I just want it to happen so I can stop worrying about whether or not it will EVER happen?it HAS been 9 months!
Also my husband had to go right to work after I got home so I couldn?t even talk to him much. So I decided (puffy eyes and red nose and all) to do some ?retail therapy? and I went to a new store and bought myself a present. It was only a fancy soap and some walking tour travel cards for Paris but I asked that they gift wrap it and it made me feel a little better at least. Since I knew I was going to go home and wallow in my misery I figured I might as well get some new soap and smell better even if I feel like ***!
Otherwise ?.I called the Gyno AGAIN and asked when I should schedule my HSG (fallopian tube test) and they said AFTER my next period. So it is a waiting game AGAIN! My last period was February 4th so if all is going as it should I SHOULD have a period soon.
The hubs ?deposits? his ?specimen? for analysis tomorrow so we?ll see what becomes of THAT.
WOW this day SUCKED ROYALLY!!! My patience and optimism is TRULY being tested today!