Finally 3 months old and we're still barely surviving

3 months doesn't seem to be the magical point for us.  The girls are still both SO fussy the vast majority of the day!  DD2 STTN but DD1 sleeps a 3 1/2 hour stretch and then is terrible to get back to sleep and wakes up multiple times from 3am-morning.

I have sitter coming 4 hrs/day 3 days per week and I can still barely get bottles washed, laundry done and get myself a shower without one or both screaming.  And to top it off, DD1 seems to have a fear of strangers already.  I didn't think it was possible, but she does this weird scream when she sees my dad who is out of town and the same scream for the sitter.  She wouldn't even take her bottle from the sitter.

Am I doing something wrong?  Is it the reflux that makes them "bad babies" as DH calls them?  He told me he was in tears last night trying to get them to bed because they were both screaming... we are having such a hard time.

Fiona & Julia image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 23 mos. TTC, MFI, IUI #1&2 BFN, IVF #1 = BFP!!!

Re: Finally 3 months old and we're still barely surviving

  • I didn't want to read and run. 


    *hugs!!* It will get better. It's got to! 

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  • Hang in there, it'll get better! I laughed when at 3 months we didn't seem to have turned any magical corners either. In all honesty, it didn't get 'better' until they were around 6 months. They are just now sleeping 12 hours straight. We had an overnight bottle until 6.5/7 months at which point we put them in separate rooms and did some sleep training. If it hadn't been for that I don't know where we'd be sleep-wise now. It's tough, trust me I know...but in a few months you'll look back and not even remember what it was like at that stage. GL!
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  • It does get better, eventually.

    You're not doing anything wrong.  What are some things you have tried that haven't worked, so that maybe we can help you with things you haven't thought of to try yet.

  • image SoldiersGreenBean:

    It does get better, eventually.

    You're not doing anything wrong.  What are some things you have tried that haven't worked, so that maybe we can help you with things you haven't thought of to try yet.

    It's good to be reminded that it does get better.  Here's what we've tried/are doing:

    -Reflux meds, gas drops

    -Alimentum formula


    -Baby wearing

    -Vibrating Bouncy Seats

    -Tummy time/tummy naps being watched

    -Upping ounces in bottles (currently they eat 5 1/2oz 5-6x/day)

    -Getting out of the house

    As for bedtime, we have white noise, sleep sheep and blackout shades.  They sleep in bouncy seats because of the reflux.

    I'll welcome any suggestions!!


    Fiona & Julia image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 23 mos. TTC, MFI, IUI #1&2 BFN, IVF #1 = BFP!!!
  • Were your babies early at all? My babies were only two weeks early but because of that I add an extra couple of weeks on the time frames.

    It sounds like your babies have figured out how to get your attention. Why would they want the sitter when they have you? From what I experience, if my babies don't sleep well during the day, they don't sleep well at night. 

    Have you tried a warm bath right before bed? That's what I do for my colicky little girl. Snaps her right out of it! It totally relaxes her and then she is ready for her bottle.

    Are you swaddling your babies during the day for their naps?

    Are your babies stiffening up when they are screaming? If they are stiffening up I think it is lower intestinal- gas. Try some Mylacon. Swaddling will help with that as well.

    Good Luck!

  • I don't have much advice, since I am not far behind you. However with my first one I know it will get better, just try and hang in there. I have found with twins, and with twins plus a toddler there have been moments when we have been totally overwhelmed. If I am feeling that way, I ask DH to bail me out and vice versa. They can sense when you are tense and upset, so it won't help calm them IMO.

    Try and remember this too shall pass, they are not bad.

    I would also suggest Colic Calm, we got it on Amazon and it really has worked wonders for us. It is pricey but worth it.

  • Hang in there Momma, it does get easier but there really is no magic age. Just try to take one day at a time and make sure you're doing something during the day that allows you to feel a little better - maybe a latte or a walk or something. I know if I'm not taking care of me, everything seems a whole lot worse.
    Mom to six awesome kids - Levi is 12, Landen is 8, Gabrielle is 6, Lucas is 3, and Oliver and Samuel are 2 years old. Love my crew. Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Hang in there! You are doing great although it doesn't feel that way, I'm sure.

    We loved the Fisher Price Rock n Plays instead of the bouncy seats, and they slept like champs. Are you swaddling? Also a god-send for us. Also, it sounds like one might need another feeding in the middle of the night- we had to do that for awhile-6 weeks-and then she grew out of it, and STTN.

    Again, hang in there, good luck, and feel free to vent away here, we've been there!

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  • I could have written your posts myself at that age! I felt like we were still in survival mode until about 5 months. My girls also had reflux and would scream at night for hours and hours. Nothing I did helped. My DH worked nights and there were many nights the three of us sat in the recliner crying. It was horrible. Like you I tried everything and nothing worked. Both of mine also woke every 3-4 hours at night.

    At 4-5 months, things got better. They will for you too. You are not doing anything wrong. I would cry to my DH that I was a horrible mother for not being able to make my babies happy and wondered why they didn't like me. Sleep deprivation and hormones really affected my ability to think clearly :)

    FWIW, my girls are truly happy babies now. Those early months had no effect on the outgoing, giggly toddlers they are now. Tonight, instead of the three of us crying in the recliner, we were exchanging kisses and giggles. You'll get there too. Hang in there. Make yourself comfy in survival mode as long as you need to. Don't pass judgment on wouldn't judge a friend in your shoes. (((hugs)))

  • I have not had my twins yet but my son was such a tough baby. He was colic and did not sleep more than 2 hour stretches until 5 months old.  He was in daycare and they were awful about keeping a schedule. With 1 baby I remember how hard it was.

    Do you have them on a schedule? I think that was our problem. At 8 months I became a SAHM and started to schedule our entire day.

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  • Hang in there!!! You're doing a great job, don't doubt yourself. It can get really hard not to feel defeated by two little babies but you will get through it (defeated was a word that came into my head more times than I can remember and I remember it vividly... you're not alone if you feel that!). It may not be at 3 months, 4 months, 6 months but over time things get gradually better. I used to focus too much on those 'magic' month numbers when everyone said it would get easier or they'd sleep better or whatever & would feel really terrible when it didnt work out that way for us over & over. So, it is hard but try not to compare too much to other people & just figure out the best way to do things for you/your babies. 

    If you have a screamer, our key was bouncing on a yoga ball while feeding or trying to soothe to sleep. Also the vacuum or a hairdryer for colicky crying before bedtime. 


  • I was waiting for things to be better at 3 months, too...  :(  Your babies sound exactly like my babies, LOL!  They just turned 4 months, and I'm still waiting for things to get better.  I think it's a slow and GRADUAL "better", not like all the sudden things are better, ya know?  For example, mine finally sleep a solid 4-5 hours MOST of the time when I put them to sleep for the night, which is a HUGE improvement :)


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  • My DS has reflux and we have 2 other things we've tried that seem to be helping: probiotics and the chiropractor. I put probiotics powder in their formula 2-3x/day and DS has had 5 chiropractic treatments over the past month or so. The manipulations are VERY gentle - no crrrrrrack that you might normally associate with chiro; it almost looks like she is just cuddling him.

    Oh, and the FP rock n play is my #1 fave baby item- he sleeps on it and if he is fussy when, say, I am feeding DD, I can rock him with my foot while on the couch feeding her. GL and you are doing great!!!
    B/G twins!
  • Thank you for all of the helpful and encouraging responses!  Last night was the best night we've had in a long time.  I'm going to try some of your suggestions!
    Fiona & Julia image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 23 mos. TTC, MFI, IUI #1&2 BFN, IVF #1 = BFP!!!
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