TTC After a Loss

Unsure

So long story short, chemical pregnancy again.

And this weekend I'm peak fertile (I can't think right now due to lack of sleep, so this won't be all scientific to say the least).  My fiance wants to try again but I'm nervous. I don't want to lose it again... How do I know for sure that I'm ready? It's not been very long since I lost Djeri, so I'm afraid we are rushing this. He knows I'm scared about it, but he is so sure it will be ok...

All I can think is, what if I'm not ready... And what if I lose this one too?

AhmandahAnarchy CodyyCaustic Forever and Always Your Guardian Angel ENGAGED Wish we met you: Djeri Vanessah Bonk due to be born on 10/3/11

Re: Unsure

  • So sorry you are going through this.  I think it's perfectly normal to be fearful of TTC again.
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  • What did you Dr say about waiting?  I had a chemical pregnancy in January and my Dr didn't make us wait to try again and I got pregnant (or at least we are 95% sure it was a new pregnancy) again on 1/25 and I lost that one too last week.  So I suggest waiting at least one cycle or whatever your Dr told you to do.
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  • Sorry for your loss.  Only you know if you are ready or not but it's very normal to be scared.  Good luck!
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    BFP #1 - m/c at 8w
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  • I agree that it's perfectly normal to be scared about TTC again. 

    What did your doctor say about waiting?  After my first loss my OB told us to wait one cycle.  I got pregnant the next cycle & lost that one too.  This time she suggested we wait 2 cycles before trying again.

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    Married 1/2/99.
    TTC since 4/09.
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    SHG & SA normal. PCOS Research study started 5/10.
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    Clomid/Femara cycle #2 - 7/10 = BFP #1 - Missed miscarriage 9/2/10
    11/12 - BFP #2 - 11/22 - m/c
    5/1/11 - BFP #3 - Pre-eclampsia, IUGR & bed rest from 32w. DD born via induction 1/4/12.
  • I'm really sorry.  I don't think we'll ever be as blissfully ignorant of complications again, but PGAL is very supportive whenever it does happen again.
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  • I'm so sorry.  I think you just need to go with what you feel is good/right for you and your body.  We all heal at a different pace. GL
    **Married my soul mate July 2005; together since 1997 **BFP #1 10/6/06 The joy of my life Braden born 6/13/07 **BFP #2 10/29/10 NT Test 12/30/10 T21 and heart abnormalities; D&C 1/5/11- 13.5 wks
  • I'm very sorry for your loss.  I have to agree with pp...TTCAL can be very scary and stressful.  I don't think anyone can tell you whether or not you are ready, but we will be here to support you whatever you decide.  GL!
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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  • So I have had two doctor appointments since and she had told me that if I wanted to wait, it wouldn't be a bad idea. I talked to my fiance about it and we ended up fighting about it (made me feel real good) and he finally told me after the fight that he is scared if we don't try now, we won't be able to have one...

    Which I think the same thing. We agreed to not exactly try, but not prevent either. If it happens, then it happens. He understands I'm scared of losing yet another one, so he agreed that we wouldn't purposely have sex just to try anymore.

    And honestly, I think it is better than trying right now. I feel much closer and much more better. Thank you for the support and I will keep you guys posted:)

    AhmandahAnarchy CodyyCaustic Forever and Always Your Guardian Angel ENGAGED Wish we met you: Djeri Vanessah Bonk due to be born on 10/3/11
  • only the two of you can decide when/if you're ready.  And no matter when that time is, there are going to be fears of loss. The question is do the desires to try again and have the opportunity to succeed outweigh the fears?  Then you know.  We are facing those feeling everyday.
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