3rd Trimester

DH keeps inviting people over

With three weeks to go my DH keeps inviting tons of people over (mainly his friends) despite my not feeling too social. I'm exhausted and just want to sit around and be pregnant, big and tired. The people he is inviting over requires me to be dressed up and "on" in a social sense. So, do you all think I am being irrational or would you be irritated too?

Re: DH keeps inviting people over

  • Oh heck no! When we have people over I like my house to be pretty clean...and it is not up to par these days! I'm just too uncomfortable to maintain it as well as I like, and plus we have been really busy with a lot of projects (nursery, decorating other areas of the house, organizing/rotating the boys clothes, etc). So the house is just not in order, and my mind is on other things at the moment (rather than wanting to sit around and socialize...I'd be antsy for them to leave so I could either rest or putter around getting stuff done).
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  • I would be very irritated!!  Have you tried to talk to him about how you feel?  Do you have relatives or close friends of your own that live near you?  If you do have others close to you I would be tempted to just go over and rest at their place while DH entertains. 
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  • I'd be annoyed. My house has been a mess lately and in no shape to have guests.
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  • Have you told him how much it's bothering you? I'd try to talk to you him while your in a good mood so it doesn't accidentally slip out at an irritated moment haha ;) 
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    Thalia Kathryn
  • You are better than me.....if my DH was inviting people over when I am not in the mood I would seriously go to the bedroom, shut the door, & stay there until the guests leave.  You are not being irrational at all, you are pregnant & tired....entertaining is the last thing on your mind.
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  • Tell him no or just lay in your bed and watch movies!
  • Eh if it bothered me, I'd just make sure DH did any needed cleaning before his friends came, and I'd go upstairs or something and watch tv if I didn't feel like being social.
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  • Oh hell no, you are totally in the right!! I get so annoyed when DH's friends stop by because it means i have to put a bra on, lol! Let alone "dress up". His friends and family have a VERY bad habit of stopping by without calling. This happens at least 2-3 times a week despite us asking every single time they do it to please call in advance. Or they will call and one of us won't pick up and they will come over 5 mins later!!!!

    I love how close his family and friends are but sometimes hate that we live within 5 miles of 20 family members and almost every single friend he has. My family and friends are all spread out so no one ever just stops by without calling.

    Plus when they are at your house, you can't escape anywhere! I feel bad for you. He isn't going to do that to you after the baby comes is he?

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  • I'd be irritated as well if I were so close to delivery and DH wasn't at least asking me if I was okay with people coming over...it's one thing when it's close friends or family that you don't have to dress up for or exert much energy for but when it's the kind of guests that you have to dress up a little for and actually extend energy to be "socially on" for, then that's a bit much at this point.  And I know what you mean by that because that's how it is when my DH has his coworkers over to our house. It's not like regular guests where you can be more relaxed.

    (a) Talk to him about your feelings on this and (b) suggest perhaps he can meet up with them for dinner at a resteraunt or get coffee / drinks elsewhere so he can still be social but you can also relax in your home in these last critical weeks when you need to conserve your energy.

    It seems like just an easy matter of some communication and compromise.

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  • image kabarbanel:
    Eh if it bothered me, I'd just make sure DH did any needed cleaning before his friends came, and I'd go upstairs or something and watch tv if I didn't feel like being social.

    This.  Just because I'm feeling huge and uncomfortable doesn't mean he should have to give up social interaction.

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  • I would tell him no more people over for a while.  I'm would not be hiding up in my room so he can keep up his social life.  I want to sit around my house in my muu-muu and not smile and try to be nice to people.  He would get over it, it's not a huge sacrfice for him at this point!

  • i am with pp...just ask him if he can go out and entertain, but asking him to not do it seems a little selfish.  i know ur not feeling up to it and the house is a reck but this is what we  as woman have to go through to bring life.  DH can only be understanding of what we r going through but the world doesnt stop because we are having a baby
  • I'd be irritated too, but, my hubby is a social guy and he likes the house to be tip top as much as I do. I would probably just excuse myself early and then everyone is somewhat happy. I'm more worried about after baby comes and all the people that may pop in or want to visit while I'm trying to figure out our new little one.
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  • I would be irritated as well. Just let him know how you are feeling, and suggest that he get together with his friends at one of their homes, or go out with them to a restaurant or to play pool or something that gives you quiet, alone time to relax and not have to entertain anyone.

    If your DH is anything like mine, the suggestion of entertaining them himself just wouldn't work- he'd bring them to our messy home, and I'd feel the need to clean up and entertain them anyway.

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