New to The Bump

First Post did not end well...

I posted yesterday on another board & the ladies were less than receptive. Honestly, they were down right hateful. I hope this isnt how everyone is on here. I am TTC at 40, I have plenty of friends to talk to but, thought it would be nice to see others outside of my friends experiances. I had to block all of them & then saw later they started a whole nother page to just belittle & be rude to me. I was pretty shocked at such hate.
Happiness & Harmony

Re: First Post did not end well...

  • I have noticed that the ones who are on here all day long seem to get rude pretty quick.  I am more of a lurker.  I just read and rarely post.  Anytime someone puts a post up regarding how people need to grow up, it almost always becomes an argument.  It is ridiculous....almost like middle/high school cliques.  I would just stay out of it.  This site can be a great place for support, so don't let it get you down. 

     
  • I can't really comment on your post directly, as I have no idea what it said or what board it was on. But here are a few pointers, since you're very new:

    1. Lurk, lurk, and lurk some more. When you're ready to post, lurk some more. Some boards are very tight-knit, and many have a particular vibe. You may find that it's not the board for you and you don't really want to post there after all.

    2. Check to see if there's a FAQ at the top of the board. Many boards get the same question multiple times a day, so they've created FAQs for quick reference.

    3. On that note, check to see if your question has been asked inn the last page or 2. Some people get very frustrated answering the same question multiple times a day.

    4. Introduce yourself. I liken it to a cocktail party. you don't generally barge into a conversation, you introduce yourself before launching into a discussion.

    5. Always start with google before asking a question. A lot of times you can get much more objective information more quickly that way.

    6. Have a thick skin. I can tell you I've been flamed (at least minorly) on almost every board I've visited, but I'm still here.

    ETA: I saw your post. For one, there was no hatred, except from you stating you were sorry for people's husbands (that's a classic uncool move around here). For another, you did get a lot of helpful questions and did come across as a bebe with no idea what's going on. Which brings me to Rule #7:

    7. Never, ever DD a post. The Nest/Bump never forgets, and the claws really come out then because you're considered a coward for not standing up to whatever people throw at you.

    Post like a normal person next time and I'm sure things will go fine. Good luck on the 16th.

     

    image
    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.

  • 7. Never, ever DD a post. The Nest/Bump never forgets, and the claws really come out then because you're considered a coward for not standing up to whatever people throw at you.

    I am new to this board as well.....What does this mean....
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image Jenny92207:

    7. Never, ever DD a post. The Nest/Bump never forgets, and the claws really come out then because you're considered a coward for not standing up to whatever people throw at you.

    I am new to this board as well.....What does this mean....

    DD = dirty delete. Some people delete a post because they want feedback on sensitive info, and they'll even let people know they're going to delete after a time. And that's fine. But a lot of people delete a post because people disagree with them or they don't like the answers they're getting. And people will notice.

    image
    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • Definitely agree with all of Dr.Loretta's pointers and obviously from her experience on here she's a pro on these boards! Yes

    I'm a big lurker and I search for previous posts of topics that I'm interested.
    Best of luck TTC at 40. I also stick to my birth month board and local board, easier since we're in the same situations.

    So maybe stick around TTC after 35, TTC, etc.
    And - don't worry if they're tough on you! It's just a community board - don't take it personally.

  • Well, I didnt end with the DD until I was attacked, and I didnt become rude til again I was spoken to rude. And Yes I did block them cause that is not why I came here. I have been lurking.. No worries .. but I will say this who starts another thread just to make fun of me? Is this high school? I mean I have a little trouble with you defending people who act like that. .. Whatever it doesnt matter just was coming here to have friendly conversations with like minded people. Not to be made fun of & all that. Seems like the people who live on the boards have a lil click & enjoy ganging up. That was my experiance. I hope it wont be in the future I will take your advice.

    Happiness & Harmony
  • That is just how I felt, Like I wasnt one of the IN crowd & they ganged up
    Happiness & Harmony
  • image GiGiCampbell:

    Well, I didnt end with the DD until I was attacked, and I didnt become rude til again I was spoken to rude. And Yes I did block them cause that is not why I came here. I have been lurking.. No worries .. but I will say this who starts another thread just to make fun of me? Is this high school? I mean I have a little trouble with you defending people who act like that. .. Whatever it doesnt matter just was coming here to have friendly conversations with like minded people. Not to be made fun of & all that. Seems like the people who live on the boards have a lil click & enjoy ganging up. That was my experiance. I hope it wont be in the future I will take your advice.

    You being "attacked" aside, you DDing the thread just made the whole situation worse.  It is frowned upon on every board on this site.  It is like going to ask someone to play baseball and then taking your ball and stomping off because someone said you were out and you thought you were safe.  You asked a question and didn't get the responses you wanted so you get huffy and DD.  Do you desrved to be attacked? No. But does that mean it is OK for you to do it back?

    Do you see the irony in this post and what you are complaing about?  You are upset that people were rude/calling you out and making another post about you, yet you some to another board (here) and complain about them.

    image
    BabyFruit Ticker
    TTC since 3/10: IVF #1 BFP: #1 60, #2 128, #3 256, #4 796, #5 1926!
    U/S #2: 2 heartbeats!!!! U/S #4: Vanishing twin around 8=9 weeks
  • I know you have me blocked but just in case...

    You... are a douchebag.... 

    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
    imageimageimageimage
    image
    "It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
    "Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
  • Clearly, these people are your friends. I didnt repost what they said & laugh & call them Trainwrecks ect. I am sorry It is clearly not the same I havent posted names nothing THEY DID., started a thread with my name. I didnt huff off I got attacked from the git go. We arent going to agree so lets just agree to disagee.
    Happiness & Harmony
  • image GiGiCampbell:
    Clearly, these people are your friends. I didnt repost what they said & laugh & call them Trainwrecks ect. I am sorry It is clearly not the same I havent posted names nothing THEY DID., started a thread with my name. I didnt huff off I got attacked from the git go. We arent going to agree so lets just agree to disagee.

    I don't even know what you posted about or on what board you posted.  Way to go making assumptions.  Confused

    No, you didn't call them trainwrecks.  Instead you come to another board and start calling everyone rude and accuse them of attacking you.  Calling someone rude is namecalling.

    image
    BabyFruit Ticker
    TTC since 3/10: IVF #1 BFP: #1 60, #2 128, #3 256, #4 796, #5 1926!
    U/S #2: 2 heartbeats!!!! U/S #4: Vanishing twin around 8=9 weeks
  • Like I said.... agree to disagree... Or do you want to keep rehashing something you had nothing to do with?

    Happiness & Harmony
  • image GiGiCampbell:

    Like I said.... agree to disagree... Or do you want to keep rehashing something you had nothing to do with?

    You clearly don't get it. If you don't want people rehashing what they didn't have anything to do with, don't post on a Newbie board about your experience, have people find out what happened, and give their opinion.

    I'm sure you'll be gone soon. Nice meeting you.

    image
    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • I have a hard time taking you seriously or believing you are 40 with those kind of major spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors.
  • image Serendipitie:
    I have a hard time taking you seriously or believing you are 40 with those kind of major spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors.

    Age =/= educated.

    image

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



  • image MandyBrownNoser:

    I know you have me blocked but just in case...

    You... are a douchebag.... 

    LOL....oops, I guess she can see this now Wink

    Formerly **eco**4k posts down the sh*tter Chart
  • image robinsokj:

    image Serendipitie:
    I have a hard time taking you seriously or believing you are 40 with those kind of major spelling, grammatical, and punctuation errors.

    Age =/= educated.

    You speak the truth
  • I received a very similar *warm welcome* when I came here for a few months ago. And I have since created a new account to start clean. The replies from one of the women made me cry she was so rude. At the end of the day, I realized it?s just a message board, and obviously the woman must have just been a troll if she had nothing better to do then belittle another Mom looking for advice. I only ever made one post, and that was enough to turn me away from the Bump for a long while.. I hope that we both have a better experience this time.
    image

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  • Coming from you .. it's a compliment  You seem so classy.
    GiGi.... due in march with my first
  • I was going to do the same. Guess they are the ugly & fat girls that want to feel powerful. It's funny really..
    GiGi.... due in march with my first
  • And now you've broken another Bump rule by creating an AE to agree with yourself.

    I swear, you should be the poster child for What Not to Do on The Bump

    image
    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • I've had nothing but positive responses from everyone on here! These ladies are here for companionship and advice just like you and I. If you are constantly having the same problem, the common denominator in each situation is you. Maybe just come in here with an open mind and heart. <3 If you stop focusing on the negative and bring forth a real need as opposed to belly aching about something you started, the extremely helpful people on here will be just that!  Hope I helped in some way... ^_^
  • Just a question... where does one read these "rules" since I'm sure pretty much everyone would like to know how to get along with other moms/moms-to-be. Not to mention, plenty of posts get lost in translation because unfortunately when you're typing a response, other people may not comprehend it as joking, etc. 

     Seriously, is there some type of "Bump Etiquette"?   

    BabyFruit Ticker} Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image alieelyse:

    Just a question... where does one read these "rules" since I'm sure pretty much everyone would like to know how to get along with other moms/moms-to-be. Not to mention, plenty of posts get lost in translation because unfortunately when you're typing a response, other people may not comprehend it as joking, etc. 

     Seriously, is there some type of "Bump Etiquette"?   

    See my original response to this post.

    Seriously, it's mostly common sense. Lurk, be clear in your postings, don't wade in where you don't belong, know your audience, etc. Basic social interactions.

    image
    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
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