Help me stick with BFing..

I always imagined that i would love to bf and thought i'd do it until 1 year old but I don't like to bf and i feel so guilty! one of my best friends absolutely loves it, but not me. i find it so inconvienent and hate pulling out my boob in public or at friends houses, etc even with the hooter hider. i'm so lucky because i've never had any bfing issues other than not knowing how much to give her. and the last 2 weeks she actually lost weight because she didn't show any signs of being hungry after a feed, other than she was so cranky and cried so much more which i thought was because of the thrush we were just treated for. but i just discovered it was cause she wasn't getting enough milk. i hate that i can't see how much she's getting cause i cannot figure her out if she's full or not. i feel like to bf you need to be a mind reader which i am not. i consider switching to formula some days but become overwhelmed with guilt when i think it especially since she's been BM fed only since day one and she is now 8 weeks old. i feel life will be SOOO much easier on me and DD if we go to formula. but is grass really greener on the other side??  Can you talk me out of thinking about switching to formula? please... 

Re: Help me stick with BFing..

  • I have done both and I really do think FF is a ton more work especially at night.  You are almost through the hard part. 

    There is nothing wrong with FF, but if you really want to stick with BFing just keep at it one day at a time. 

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  • I've done both and I think formula is much more convenient, especially if you don't like NIP, which i don't.  no one gives a second thought if you whip out a bottle.  don't feel bad about using formula.  your happiness is important.  Have you thought about exclusively pumping?  it can be a lot of work and takes a lot of discipline, but it might work for you.
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  • I dont LOVE BFing. But the joy I get out of looking BACK and thinking about how long I lasted it out and did it for and how healthy it was for DS is immense!

     You will get over being worried about "how much shes getting." just feed her more often and for longer.

    If you REALLY want to see how much she's geting, invest into a good pump. I use the medela freestyle, and hear the pump in style is great too. Pumping is not bad... and you see how much they get and you can freeze the extra for later if you have any. Or maybe do both for a while and see if you like BFing or pumping better. Either way, i think you should stick it out a little longer.

    In no way is BFIng convenient. I dont NIP at all, ever. I usually go into a changing room if I'm at a store and do it there or will plan on being home/ in the car etc. I applaud those that CAN nip, but you dont have to do that to make BFing work. Its not convenient, but you will pride yourself so much the longer you stick with it. Thats not to say if you stopped now you didnt do an amazing job. Any amount of time is amazing.

  • I am at just about the 7 month point of EBF and I think you need to give yourself a bit longer based on (1) no supply issues and (2) a healthy child who bf's without issues. It truly is the best for your baby. You dont need to NIP (I dont and hated the few times I had to) - once my dd started taking a bottle from me, things eased up a lot in terms of my comfort level in public, at peoples homes, etc. I would def agree with pp suggestion that you get a pump and use it frequently, giving yourself a freezer stash and getting lo used to a bottle. EP is hard work but may be worth it for you for at least a little while. At my dd's age I am def getting a bit weary of BFing, as she is losing interest at this stage, but at 8 weeks I was revelling in it even though it was a lot of work. My dd ate constantly. However you will be able to figure her out much better in the coming weeks. However if you feed from a bottle dont compare yourself with ff moms with the ounces lo takes-even thouogh dd takes mostly bottles now its less than what friends who ff feed their kids. Every kid is different.
  • I think that the first 8-10 weeks are the toughest, and I also think that BFing requires some getting used to. I never EVER imagined that I would be able to nurse outside my home, outside of my comfort zone, not using my pillow or sitting in my chair, and I could not see past that, and I can honestly say that I don't know when or how it happened, I didn't even notice when it became easier, when unbuckling my nursing bra became such an automatic thing for me that I often nurse and don't even realize I am, or better yet, I fall asleep :)

    Once you get to that point, nursing is the most convenient thing in the world. You can do it anywhere, anytime and with practically nothing else but you and baby in tow. It calms a fussy baby, it comforts, it nourishes, it keeps baby healthy... it's just so natural.

    But, like I said, it does require some getting used to and you'll get there in time if you give it a chance. If you help yourself through the first couple of weeks by just promising yourself that everyday you'll give it one more. Give yourself an objective: one month, two months, three months and try to reach and extend it.

    But also remember that we can be our own worst critics. Whatever your decision is, you are only accountable to yourself and you don't have to explain or defend it to anyone. Don't ever feel guilty for your decisions. Throughout your child's life you will have to make many, many decisions and you will make them based on what you think is best for you, her and your family.

    I wish you and your baby much luck!
  • if you are going to be a SAHM it is far easier and far cheaper to never buy any bottles/pumps/formula. 8 weeks isn't very long on a scale of 18 years so give yourself at least another month before you decide whether you still want to exclusively breastfeed or not it can be hard to get back to it if you make the choice to stop, if not you have done quite a lot for your babies immune system and brain development and if you continue to nurse or combination feed you will still provide many benefits breast milk has to offer.

    I am sorry but I think you may suffer from dysphoric milk ejection reflex: 


    Little Rose is 2 1/2.
  • In my head, I definitely got to this point, as well. There will be times where you get overwhelmed and that it's very time consuming (which it can be), but if you really think it will benefit you and the baby you should try and stick with it. Also, unfortunately we live in a society where there are so many ppl who have never BF that are not really supportive and that could be part of why you're feeling this way and having doubt. Good luck and I hope that you are able to stick with it, if that is what you want.
  • First- it is OK to not love nursing.  It doesn't make you a bad mother or mean anything other than you don't love to nurse.  End of story.  It is more difficult in some instances to nurse than to FF, just like it's more dfficult to FF than to nurse.  The beauty of it is that you don't have to do one or the other!  Have you thought about nursing while you are at home/at night and FF when out in public?  I know some babies have sensitivities to this, but some babies don't.  I nursed my first DD for 2+ years and have been nursing my 2nd DD for 6 months, both have had forumla when needed (supply issues, growth spurt, sore nipples, etc.) and neither had any issues with going back and forth.  Breast may be best in some situations, but formula is a healthy alternative. :)

  • Can i just say...i love you all. hehehethank you for all of your comments and info.  i'm going to keep trying to stick it out. i may look into FF for when we are out and about or if i want to just go out without DD.  I really appreciate the support and hearing all this helps me want to stick with it...i'll reasses at 12 weeks...which really is so close so maybe at 16 weeks and see how it goes. maybe by then it will be just so easy and natural!

    thank you so much :) 

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