Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Age & Motherhood.

The how old are you post earlier got me thinking. Does your age affect your self-image, and your confidence about your parenting? Do you feel more confident because you're older? Less confident because you're young? I'm just curious how that affects everyone.

 

My husband is 20, and I am 19. I was homeschooled for 2/3 of my pre-college schooling, and was an early graduate. We feel confident with each other, and our baby was not an accident. However, I do feel an intense pressure to be perfect, so that people know I am not like the "Teen Mom" set. Although I've always felt older, I feel like my age has been a factor for others' judgement way more since I had Alicen.

 

How do you feel about your age, and how that relates to your relationship with your child/children, and your parenting ability?

Re: Age & Motherhood.

  • I honestly dont think my age relates to how I parent. Ill be 23 on the 12th and DH 25 in March. This year is also our 5 year wedding anny. I never really gave any thought to it. Little man was planned and I feel like I had him at the perfect age. We wanted kids as early as we could afford them. I love being a mom and am pretty sure nothing would change in how I care for him if I were older or younger! I think I just had a million random thoughts and wrote them out.
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  • I have always wanted since I was about 19 to be a mother, honestly I feel there should have been times that I definetly should have been KU but nothing ever happened I felt down on mysef thinking there was something wrong with me but I think its a fact extra weight makes it harder to get PG, well long story short I lost 25 lb before I was able to get PG (I had no clue) by the time I actually found out I was PG I was down 60 pounds and then I was starting to gain a little back and was confused. Honestly looking back now I am SO happy that I was blessed to have herr a little later in life for the simple fact that I am more grown and more settled with a stable job and that her Dad is in the picture. I think for me being older im in a different mindset, I have done my partying and being selfish. Now I dedicate myself to my daughter and husband and everythign else takes the back burner.

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    Stinkerbella-8-27-10 
    Married-11-26-10/In Process of Divorce/Separated since early Feb.
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  • We sound very similar, right down to the home schooling. lol

    I was 21 when DD was born (turned 22 a month later), and even though it seems young I never really put a label on myself as a "young mom". I don't feel unprepared, or less prepared than an older mom. I also don't feel like anyone else is entitled to judge me because of my age. I've got my stuff together way more than older moms I've seen.

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  • image kg_08:

    We sound very similar, right down to the home schooling. lol

    I was 21 when DD was born (turned 22 a month later), and even though it seems young I never really put a label on myself as a "young mom". I don't feel unprepared, or less prepared than an older mom. I also don't feel like anyone else is entitled to judge me because of my age. I've got my stuff together way more than older moms I've seen.

     

    That's how I feel. I was raised to think and behave older than I was. That could be a good thing, could be a bad thing, who knows? I think that parenting isn't as much about how old you are, because everyone's lives and experiences are so very unique. I have met 35 year old moms who suck, I've met 16 year old moms who suck, and I have seen people that I would say were good moms, from all different walks of life. I think a mom who is on the younger end of the age spectrum is somewhat more likely to be unprepared or have a rough time,  but I don't think its a given. I love being a mother, its what I've always wanted to do. I got my teenage stuff out of the way early, and I am ready for this phase of life.

  • image kg_08:

    We sound very similar, right down to the home schooling. lol

    I was 21 when DD was born (turned 22 a month later), and even though it seems young I never really put a label on myself as a "young mom". I don't feel unprepared, or less prepared than an older mom. I also don't feel like anyone else is entitled to judge me because of my age. I've got my stuff together way more than older moms I've seen.

    S-Yes

    I do however think you should be prepared to have a kid if you are careless and screw around without protecting and then those people who cant take care of themselves popping out kids left and right should be forced to hand them over for adoption, and a mandatory hysterectomy/vasectomy. Yes I am serious. Its heart breaking seeing babies born addicted to heroin/meth/coke/booze. *steps off soapbox*

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    Stinkerbella-8-27-10 
    Married-11-26-10/In Process of Divorce/Separated since early Feb.
    TTGP's 2013 Sweetest Bumpie <3 


  • I'm young but I don't feel unprepared. My DD wasn't planned but everything came together perfectly and I'd say SO and I have got our sh!t together unlike most of the people I went to high school with who have kids. We've got everything we need and are doing great on our own.
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  • image qme09:

     

    How do you feel about your age, and how that relates to your relationship with your child/children, and your parenting ability?

    I don't think my age (34 this year) relates directly to my relationship with my kids and my ability to parent.  There is, however, a huge difference in the way I approach the world in general compared to my early 20s.  Where I once sought out approval from others, I now don't care.  I am the best me I can be right now.  I'm working on fixing things I don't like.  What you, in the generic form, think about me, individually, or me as a parent, doesn't factor into my thought process at all. 

    I think the bigger change in my confidence in my parenting ability came when we had DS2.  And that increase in confidence was a direct result of having DS1, not the 3 years in between the two kids.

  • I understand that...I'm 19(20 in march) and my husband is 23, we were only married 4 months when we found out we were pregnant with DD.I've felt so much pressure to be the perfect mother and the perfect wife, not to mention the perfect DIL.But I know being young doesn't mean we aren't awesome parents.I think it depends on your maturity(sp?), and your relationship as a couple.Happy to know I'm not the only Young Mom!

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  • I am just as confident with my parenting as I think "older" first time moms are. Possibly more confident since I work in a daycare and pretty much nannied my younger sisters for a year. I took a year to be homeschooled in 8th grade which was the year they were born.

    I get judged a lot even though we are married and have been together for years.

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  • I was 16 (a month shy of 17) when I had my first son (now 13) I always felt I had to be perfect. By the way I do not feel my son was a mistake, my actions where. I finished school while my very supportive grandmother babysat. I was always good with kids and feel that I am a good mother I have learned alot through the years. Being a young mother lead me to get my Masters in Early Childhood Education and show my children you can always go to college and follow your dreams. It is not how old you are that makes you a good parent it is how you care for, provide for, and protect your children that makes you a good parent.
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  • I was homeschooled too! So was DH(He is 3 years older than me). We got married right out of high school, but had Abigail a month before our 4 year wedding anniversary. It took us a year to get pregnant, so while we would have liked to have had her even sooner the timing has been perfect for us. I love being a young mommy and we would like to have a large family, so the sooner we got started the better I think. I also think a lot of it has to do with educating yourself so you can discuss things intelligently and defend your positions accurately.

    I think it can be hard though to find a "niche" if you know what I mean. It seems like majority of girls our age are in college or just graduating, and people starting their families are in their 30's so I sometimes feel like I don't quite fit in anywhere. But I've felt that way ever since I was in a committed long distance relationship with my bf(now DH) when I was 14!

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  • i don't feel my age affects the way that i parent, i am 21, not 12.

    i do however feel that i have this certain "stereotype" labeled on me by my family, since i was young, and not married when i had my son. but honestly, it makes me want to prove everyone wrong, that i CAN be a good mother, even though im young, and i CAN finish college, even though i had him before i was finished.

    one thing that really bothers me though, is the looks people give me, and remarks when they see me with my son alone. i am 21, but honestly look like im 15 if i have no make up on. (i still get carded for rated-r movies) i hate how people just assume that because i look young, and have a child, i dont know what im doing.

     

     

    1ht. sorry

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  • I think there are positives no matter what your age when you become a mother. I just turned 27 when DD was born. For me, it was the perfect age. I have an established career, a husband that I know well and have been married to for almost 5 years, my education is out of the way, we're financially stable, and I got lots of partying and traveling out of the way when I was younger. Is all of this important to becoming a mom? Not necessarily, but because it was to me, I know that I'm a better mom because of it. I know that I would have struggled if I had a baby any earlier because I had personal goals that were important to me to achieve, although I would have made the best of it; conversely I'm glad I didn't want any longer, because I'd like to have a few kids, and from a physical standpoint, I know it will be slightly easier to get back into shape if age is on my side.
  • image qme09:

    However, I do feel an intense pressure to be perfect, so that people know I am not like the "Teen Mom" set. Although I've always felt older, I feel like my age has been a factor for others' judgement way more since I had Alicen.

    I also feel this!  We live about 5 hours away from family so it really hard to juggle everything sometimes.

    Its really fun to be a young parent.  I think, when I let go of my babysitter fear, it will get easier because I will then be able to spend some more time one on one with DH. 

    Married two my best friend and mother two my wonderful kids!
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