Baby Showers

Don't want a shower

I'm not a big fan of showers, and I don't think I want a baby shower.  How do I discourage family and friends from throwing me one? 

Re: Don't want a shower

  • Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........
  • Just decline when they offer. "I'm flattered, but no thanks." Hopefully they take you seriously and don't try to surprise you!!  I hate surprises :/
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  • image YuselinMaikel:
    Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........

    So not only are you throwing your own shower, your complaining about what gifts people are giving you?  Nice.

  • image YuselinMaikel:
    Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........

    Wow. That was like one really long sentence. With a couple of sad faces thrown in.

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  • A "meet the baby" get together is usually a good option. It's not about the gifts, you can invite as many or as few people as you want and the main focus is the baby.

  • bea...I agree that a "meet the baby" get-together is a good option.  The baby will be the focus and people come and go at different times.  Plus the gifts don't have to be opened in front of everyone (unless a guest request that it be opened).

    Katie...you can always just decline a shower if someone should ask if you are having one or suggest hosting one.  Maybe tell them you plan to host a "meet the baby" party after your LO is born.

    Yosel...many guests don't purchase their gift until the week of or even the day of the shower.  Are you hosting your own shower?  Have the people RSVP'ed they are coming?  If so, they are probably waiting until the last minute.

  • Just politely decline if/when you are asked.
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  • image YuselinMaikel:
    Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........

    Oh wow....Maybe you shouldn't expect people to buy everything for you? It's your own baby, so take responsibility and provide for them instead of b!tching about what people did or didn't get you.

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  • You really can decline a shower. (I did.) And although some party-happy families will complain, it's good practice for having a child. You'll spend the next 18+ years with them trying to talk you into things you're not comfortable with. The sooner you establish boundaries, the better.
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  • image onislandtime:

    image YuselinMaikel:
    Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........

    Oh wow....Maybe you shouldn't expect people to buy everything for you? It's your own baby, so take responsibility and provide for them instead of b!tching about what people did or didn't get you.

    oh wow i am wondering why baby showers bring out such judgement towards others and nastiness

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  • image Bocciulo:
    image onislandtime:

    image YuselinMaikel:
    Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........

    Oh wow....Maybe you shouldn't expect people to buy everything for you? It's your own baby, so take responsibility and provide for them instead of b!tching about what people did or didn't get you.

    oh wow i am wondering why baby showers bring out such judgement towards others and nastiness

    Not to hi-jack the OP's thread...but do you not get what Yuselin was saying? They are spending $ on a shower to throw themselves, and complaining that no one is buying them expensive gifts.

    Maybe you don't get the purpose of a shower? A shower is not something that one throws for themselves, nor is it expected that your guests will provide you all of the neccesities for your baby.

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  • image onislandtime:
    image Bocciulo:
    image onislandtime:

    image YuselinMaikel:
    Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........

    Oh wow....Maybe you shouldn't expect people to buy everything for you? It's your own baby, so take responsibility and provide for them instead of b!tching about what people did or didn't get you.

    oh wow i am wondering why baby showers bring out such judgement towards others and nastiness

    Not to hi-jack the OP's thread...but do you not get what Yuselin was saying? They are spending $ on a shower to throw themselves, and complaining that no one is buying them expensive gifts.

    Maybe you don't get the purpose of a shower? A shower is not something that one throws for themselves, nor is it expected that your guests will provide you all of the neccesities for your baby.

    First off this isnt my first rodeo this is my 2nd kid i am well aware of what a shower is and the fact that the OP doesnt want one nor does she have to have one. 2nd Yuselin can do whatever she wants whether it looks "tacky" or "right" to the self righteous bumpies that have a tendency to throw their weight around here. She isnt inviting you to her shower so what she does and how she does it in no way affects your life nor do you need to put your b*tchy 2 scents in. There is no rule book for baby showers so get off your high horse.

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  • image Bocciulo:
    image onislandtime:
    image Bocciulo:
    image onislandtime:

    image YuselinMaikel:
    Right now I have to agree with you, I'm doing one and it's a freaking headache :( and we have spent over $300 :( I checked the list today and only 5 people have bought a gift I only have the cheap things crib, stroller, car seat, and high chair I am buying it :( I feel so upset :( for my next baby Im not doing anything and will spend those $300+ on baby........

    Oh wow....Maybe you shouldn't expect people to buy everything for you? It's your own baby, so take responsibility and provide for them instead of b!tching about what people did or didn't get you.

    oh wow i am wondering why baby showers bring out such judgement towards others and nastiness

    Not to hi-jack the OP's thread...but do you not get what Yuselin was saying? They are spending $ on a shower to throw themselves, and complaining that no one is buying them expensive gifts.

    Maybe you don't get the purpose of a shower? A shower is not something that one throws for themselves, nor is it expected that your guests will provide you all of the neccesities for your baby.

    First off this isnt my first rodeo this is my 2nd kid i am well aware of what a shower is and the fact that the OP doesnt want one nor does she have to have one. 2nd Yuselin can do whatever she wants whether it looks "tacky" or "right" to the self righteous bumpies that have a tendency to throw their weight around here. She isnt inviting you to her shower so what she does and how she does it in no way affects your life nor do you need to put your b*tchy 2 scents in. There is no rule book for baby showers so get off your high horse.

    I never said anything to the OP other than she can politley decline if/when a shower is offered to her, so not sure what your point is on that one.

    So you and Yuselin can put your 2 cents in, but I can't? How I think and feel doesn't affect your life either. This is a public message board where people can comment however they see fit, and are entitled to their own opinions. If my opinion is too straightforward for you, then too bad.

    I happen to be of the belief that you should not throw your own baby shower, and you shouldn't expect people to buy you big ticket items that are a necessity for your child. Also, to complain that people only bought you cheap things IMO is ridiculous. You should be grateful that people spent any thought and money on your baby in the first place.

    According to Google there are over 600,000 topics out there on the world wide web for "baby shower etiquette". While that certainly isn't a "rulebook", don't you think that it may mean that proper etiquette is still alive and well today and many people out there still follow it? Probably.

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  • image Bocciulo:

    First off this isnt my first rodeo this is my 2nd kid i am well aware of what a shower is and the fact that the OP doesnt want one nor does she have to have one. 2nd Yuselin can do whatever she wants whether it looks "tacky" or "right" to the self righteous bumpies that have a tendency to throw their weight around here. She isnt inviting you to her shower so what she does and how she does it in no way affects your life nor do you need to put your b*tchy 2 scents in. There is no rule book for baby showers so get off your high horse.

    Technically there is a rule book, it's called Emily Post's Etiquette, you can buy it here

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  • Screw the book. I am going to throw myself a shower this summer and dammit you all must bring gifts from my registry worth $75.00+ and oh yeah a diaper raffle too. Everyone from the Bump and my entire neighborhood is invited so I can make out like a bandit. Please send me your email addresses asap so I can send out e-vites :).

    Remember, only gifts from my registry or cash will be accepted. See you then!

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  • image Corts:

    Screw the book. I am going to throw myself a shower this summer and dammit you all must bring gifts from my registry worth $75.00+ and oh yeah a diaper raffle too. Everyone from the Bump and my entire neighborhood is invited so I can make out like a bandit. Please send me your email addresses asap so I can send out e-vites :).

    Remember, only gifts from my registry or cash will be accepted. See you then!

    You forgot to tell us to include a gift reciept....bwahahahaha!

    TTC since 8/2004
    Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
    DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
    DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
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  • image Yellow_Daisy:
    image Corts:

    Screw the book. I am going to throw myself a shower this summer and dammit you all must bring gifts from my registry worth $75.00+ and oh yeah a diaper raffle too. Everyone from the Bump and my entire neighborhood is invited so I can make out like a bandit. Please send me your email addresses asap so I can send out e-vites :).

    Remember, only gifts from my registry or cash will be accepted. See you then!

    You forgot to tell us to include a gift reciept....bwahahahaha!

    That request will be on the bottom of your e-vite, along with my 5 registries and diaper brand preferrence. Oh, and please bring a casserole because it's potluck. Thanks!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image Corts:
    image Yellow_Daisy:
    image Corts:

    Screw the book. I am going to throw myself a shower this summer and dammit you all must bring gifts from my registry worth $75.00+ and oh yeah a diaper raffle too. Everyone from the Bump and my entire neighborhood is invited so I can make out like a bandit. Please send me your email addresses asap so I can send out e-vites :).

    Remember, only gifts from my registry or cash will be accepted. See you then!

    You forgot to tell us to include a gift reciept....bwahahahaha!

    That request will be on the bottom of your e-vite, along with my 5 registries and diaper brand preferrence. Oh, and please bring a casserole because it's potluck. Thanks!

    Also, a book instead of a card AND a wishing well as too!! 

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  • Can I address my own thank you note too? I mean, I realize that you had my address when you mailed the invitation, but why on earth should I expect you to still have it when it comes time to write the thank you notes?? ;)
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  • I just joined this message board 5 minutes ago....and this will probably be my first and final post.  I hope some of you witches teach your children better than to act like you are acting on here, 'public' forum or not.  If not, quit breeding, the world doesn't need any more jerks.
  • d1sun...you might want to have looked around a bit before posting your own "judgmental comment".  Many of the people on here have been around the block (had showers, hosted showers and attended showers) and DO know what proper etiquette is.  If you cannot be on a message board that displays EVERYONE'S opinions then I guess it just isn't for you.
  • image d1sun:
    I just joined this message board 5 minutes ago....and this will probably be my first and final post.  I hope some of you witches teach your children better than to act like you are acting on here, 'public' forum or not.  If not, quit breeding, the world doesn't need any more jerks.

    So does this mean I can't send you an E-vite to my shower? Dammit, one less gift.

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  • image Yellow_Daisy:
    image Bocciulo:

    First off this isnt my first rodeo this is my 2nd kid i am well aware of what a shower is and the fact that the OP doesnt want one nor does she have to have one. 2nd Yuselin can do whatever she wants whether it looks "tacky" or "right" to the self righteous bumpies that have a tendency to throw their weight around here. She isnt inviting you to her shower so what she does and how she does it in no way affects your life nor do you need to put your b*tchy 2 scents in. There is no rule book for baby showers so get off your high horse.

    Technically there is a rule book, it's called Emily Post's Etiquette, you can buy it here

     

    I was just going to post this.  I have it and believe me it covers baby showers. 

    Madeleine Elizabeth | 07.30.07

    Connor Gage | 03.30.11

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  • To the OP, some individuals and cultures think it's a bad omen to have a shower before the baby actually arrives. My DH's entire side is like this and won't go to one if they're invited (but send a gift or check for the baby once its born). If you can't just outright politely decline, some family or friends may understand that kind of rationale. Good luck!
  • I say do whatever you want regarding a shower. But whether or not you have one, people still might want to send gifts. Because of this I recommend making a "Wish List". My sister is using MyRegistry.com for her's and I think it's perfect. This way, if people want to get you a gift they know where to look. And you don't have to have a shower. 

    I also really like the idea of a meet the baby party.  

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