Stay at Home Moms

Homeschooling advice please?! Long. 1/2 ranting!

Well I have 3 kids, they are 5 yrs, 3yrs-and 1 1/2yrs. DH and I agreed before we got married that I would be a SAHM. I LOVE being home with my kids and feel like they are more emotionally balanced and bonded with both Dh and I. Also they have very high self esteems but now we are at the age of schooling and my DH really wants me to homeschool them, I would love to in some ways but I just don't think I could teach 3 kids in 3 diff grades. I always thought I would stay at home with my kids and then at school age send them off to school so i could do my housework, clear my head, ACTUALLY accomplish a WHOLE checklist and volunteer at there classes. I have talked to DH (and MIL who is a homeschooling fan) many times about this and we have still not come to a conclusion. I have expressed how I don't think i can handle it and how I already have days of almost pulling my hair out (the younger 2 are energetic WILD boys) both DH and MIL always respond with you wont be doing it alone and we will help you. As sweet of intentions as they have both DH and MIL never help..... with anything except maybe giving me a tap on the shoulder when the baby poops. Dh works a 50 to 60 hour work week and then comes home and thinks he should be left alone to relax. He has never done chores or dishes or laundry or bathing kids and I am ok with that, It is the job I chose when I chose to be a SAHM I just never even thought about it being that ways until they graduated and moved out of my house. I feel like since they are my job that i should get to have more say then I do in this choice. I guess I have 2 questions. If you had this battle how did you win/lose? Or is anyone homeschooling 3 kids in 3 diff grades? Rowdy boys and all?
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Homeschooling advice please?! Long. 1/2 ranting!

  • I would tell my DH I cannot do it and was not comfortable trying.  I love being with my children, and I have friends who homeschool, but it is not for me.  I don't have the patience.  I need for my kids to go to a school to learn, so that I can be a good parent to them.  I know some families who do a great job with homeschooling, their homes are calm and organized and they have a consistent schedule that allows for learning.  I know another family that is a mess.  They have 3 kids, 9, 7, and 1 and everything about their house is a disaster.  I am pretty certain the homeschooling is too. 

    You have to do what you can handle.  Don't forget that your opinion accounts for 50%, more in this case IMO.

  • I would tell my DH and MIL that while I'm good at being a mother and taking care of kids, I'm not a teacher.  I don't know the first thing about teaching.

    What are your public schools like?


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  • If you aren't comfortable with it, then you shouldn't be forced to do it. If your heart isn't into it, then your kids education will suffer. Ideally, teachers are teachers because they have a passion and they are trained/educated to do so. I don't really understand having to talk your DH into (or out of) this. This is a big decision that it sounds like he's trying to force upon you. For me, this is a topic that would be non-negotiable and I would simply tell your DH that. He may not like it or understand initially but if you stand your ground it should become a closed topic overtime.
    I was the BEST mom....until I became a mother. Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I would think for homeschooling to have a ghost of a chance of working out, you would have to be 100% on board, and for legitimate reasons, you are not.  Be honest with yourself and everyone else and clearly state that you will not be homeschooling the kids. 

    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
  • FIrst off, this is a decision for you and YH, not your MIL. Her opinion should have little to no merit in your decision.

    Secondly, I think since you would be the one serving as teacher, ultimately, if you are not comfortable doing it, then that should be the answer- end of story.

    FWIW, I currently have both my BS & M.Ed in education and I know how to "teach" and in no way, shape, or form, would want to be the primary teacher for my girls in a homeschool setting.

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  • I agree with everything that has already been said.

    You can still be involved with your children at school too. I was room mom every year for DD, volunteered on several PTO activities where I was at the school often and also helped out with computer lab later on.

    Your MIL should have no say in this and you need to be honest your DH. I know several homechooling moms and they have all said that you have to be 100% committed and on board to make it work. You obviously want what is best for your children and to be honest, homeschooling does not sound like the best option for your family. No worries, I couldn't do it either:)

  • I homeschool. It takes a lot of patience and planning.  If you are not 100% on board, then it is not going to work. You and your husband need to sit down and figure out the expectations. Also, I would seek out local groups to see what resources are available to you (some states are now offering free on-line homeschooling).  To make your life easier, you may find a co-op where some of the classes are taught by other parents thereby alleviating some of the stress for you. Other lower stress options are to buy check out on-line classes for your son, buy prepackaged curriculum, or hire outside tutors to help you.
  • "If you had this battle how did you win/lose?"

    In my opinion, since you would be the one homeschooling the kids - you win, no question.  If you aren't comfortable with homeschooling it won't work out, and your kids will be the ones who suffer from an educational standpoint.  There is nothing wrong with not homeschooling, you can be a wonderful parent and send your kids to public or private school.

    DD - October 2010

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  • 3 different grades definitely sounds challenging. The only reason I have considered it is because I could practically do just about the same lessons for my 3 as they are all so close in age! But if you do decide to do it, this is a great way to keep organized for any homeschooling mom: http://www.workboxsystem.com/

    Here is a good blog for workboxes/HSing, too: http://1plus1plus1equals1.blogspot.com/2009/03/workboxes.html

    There are also TONS of different curriculums that you can buy to easily implement at home. Combine that with the workboxes, and I think a lot of the stress and planning could be taken away.

    But this is only if YOU want to do it, if not, tell you husband you aren't comfortable with it! Would he want a public school teacher teaching your kids if she wasn't comfortable with it? No! So the same should apply to you.

    Claire Zoe, 10.26.10

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    Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09

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    Abigail Noelle, 8.29.09

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  • I'm planning on homeschooling, but I also have a background in teaching, so it makes me feel comofrotable with the idea. That being said, you definitely could homeschool the kids in different grades. There are all kinds of great resources, websites, blogs community groups that can help you. A lot of homeschooling curriculums do a lot of the work for you. I'd look into your state and local community for a homeschooling meeting/convention or something for you to attend to see what all is out there, then you can make an informed decision. Homeschool is great, if it is done well, but can be a disaster if not. I think if you make the effort to go to a meeting and/or convention then you are showing MIL and DH that you're trying. If you leave the meeting feeling overwhelmed and assured that it is not the route you want to take, then maybe you'll have more leverage to use when discussing it with your DH.  

  • Thanks, We have the best public elementary school in the city right down the street. I have used this argument many times. But am def gunna keep with it.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I like that idea. I will have to do this. Thanks! 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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