I lost one of my twins, the other healthy... I am scared

I am almost 17 weeks pregnant with twins and at 15 weeks we went in for a doctor appointment because I was spotting and cramping... At first I was freaked out since they is my first pregnancy and I am probably paronoid so that everything goes right... Well, than I started to make myself believe I was just overreacting... I went into the doctors and felt like an idiot for coming in for probably nothing! The first thing they did was an ultrasound and they only saw one baby still alive with a heartbeat... The other one had died... I didn't pass the baby out - I guess it just slowly will flatten by the other baby and I will spot for the next month and than the rest of it will come out during labor of my other baby! I feel so scared that I don't want to get attached to this baby for fear the same thing will happen to this baby? It was doing pretty good on the ultrasound and had a 145 beats per min. heartbeat! We could see the baby and the arms, legs and spine... Everything looked good and he said the baby looked healthy! I go back for my other ultrasound on Feb. 4th to make sure this baby is good! I am just so scared and every cramp I think something is going wrong... As anyone had this happen to them and if so - What should I do?!?!

Re: I lost one of my twins, the other healthy... I am scared

  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your other baby continues to thrive.
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  • I am so sorry for you loss, and hope that baby continues to grow.

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  • So sorry for your loss, that must be devastating! Stay strong and allow yourself the right and time to grieve. Glad to know your other baby is continuing to grow. Do what feels right in terms of bonding with your LO, and give yourself a break if you don't feel it yet because you are scared. You are going through so much right now. It will come with time... and each drs appt where they tell you everything looks good.
  • Hi,

    I am in the same boat along with you.  We just found out that we lost one of our twins on Wed - we were in the 11 week range.  I can't tell you more of what to do b/c I'm still in the midst of it...but I can let you know that you're not alone.

    We've cried alot & we're sad.  I want to be happy for the other baby...and I know what you are saying...this fear of 'what if i lose this baby too'.  I have been having cramping too today & it does make you question everything.   It really is a mixed bag of emotions....happy that your one LO is doing well & grieving over losing your baby.  

    One of the ladies that I work with has gone through a similiar situation...she lost both of her babies, though.  She gave me really good advice on having a memorial (when I'm ready) for our baby.  She suggested doing something like going to a paint your own pottery place & painting a frame & putting some inspiring words, quote, etc on it and then putting a picture of the ultrasound with the baby in it.  I like the idea...I'm thinking about it.  It was a good idea though to do something to honor the life.  

    Praying for you tonight.   


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  • We lost one our twins around 10 weeks- not as far along as you were, but still crushing all the same.

    All I can tell you is our story which is a very healthy baby girl who eventually had to be "kicked" out of me through an induction as she was so late! She is a chubby monkey who was a very typical pregnancy (with the exception of gestational diabetes) and now baby.

    I still grieve for the lost baby, which may seem odd but I feel like I have a constant reminder of him/her.

    Best wishes for you and your LO.

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