Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

I hate my child's father. HATE! H-A-T-E!!!

I decided to start tracking my spending down to the penny to try to figure out where to trim. I have all of my transactions in a spreadsheet and it's all categorized and sub-categorized.

I just filtered everything by person (I have things listed under my name and Colin's name) and I have spent $749.10 on Colin since January 1st. I'll be adding another $200 to that total on Friday for daycare this week.

You know how much Colin's father has spent or contributed?

$0.

Why?

Because he's a FUCKINGDEADBEAT LOSER!!! It blows my mind how someone can contribute absolutely nothing to their child's well-being. No emotional, physical, or financial contributions. NONE. It's also beyond me how someone can go six months without seeing their son when they are less than 10 miles away.

Again. FUCKINGDEADBEAT LOSER!!!!

I needed to vent. I typed these words very hard on the keyboard, btw.

Re: I hate my child's father. HATE! H-A-T-E!!!

  • I'm really sorry it has to be that way. Sad
    image
  • Why does he not pay child support? Have you gone to court? You've probably answered this in the past, but I can't remember.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • When you get home (if you are in fact not already there) find a pillow and scream into it. It sounds crazy I know. I don't know if this is a healthy way to deal with it or not, but it helps.

     DH was a deadbeat loser for the first 3 months of DD's life, one night I was so exhausted and stressed, I yelled everything I wanted to yell at him into my pillow and cried for a little while. I felt soooooo much better the next morning.

    GL

  • I'm sorry. I hate that some men are like that. It's so unfair for the child and the mom.
  • image Jocelyn0415:
    Why does he not pay child support? Have you gone to court? You've probably answered this in the past, but I can't remember.

    I actually filed a month after he was born. While we were in couple's therapy the therapist suggested that I have the case closed to better our relationship since he had such a problem with the thought of being court ordered to pay child support. It takes 6 months in MA to get a court date and then about another month after that for the actual hearing. So in July I cancelled the order when we were at the courthouse.

    2 weeks later we broke up. We tried the whole "ok you pay this amount each week and come over this day and this day and everything will be merry" scenario. We agreed on $125/week and the first week he paid nothing. The second week he paid $100 for the previous week and only $120 for the current week. I wasn't going to put up with him shorting me. So I told him our agreement was null and we'll figure it out in court. I haven't heard from him since.

    ETA: I refiled at the beginning of August. I'll probably receive my date within the next couple of weeks (hopefully) for sometime in March (probably).

    ETA #2: Agreed upon amounts changed. I made a mistake. Oops.

  • image STCJM:

    image Jocelyn0415:
    Why does he not pay child support? Have you gone to court? You've probably answered this in the past, but I can't remember.

    I actually filed a month after he was born. While we were in couple's therapy the therapist suggested that I have the case closed to better our relationship since he had such a problem with the thought of being court ordered to pay child support. It takes 6 months in MA to get a court date and then about another month after that for the actual hearing. So in July I cancelled the order when we were at the courthouse.

    2 weeks later we broke up. We tried the whole "ok you pay this amount each week and come over this day and this day and everything will be merry" scenario. We agreed on $225/week and the first week he paid nothing. The second week he paid $200 for the previous week and only $220 for the current week. I wasn't going to put up with him shorting me. So I told him our agreement was null and we'll figure it out in court. I haven't heard from him since.

    ETA: I refiled at the beginning of August. I'll probably receive my date within the next couple of weeks (hopefully) for sometime in March (probably).

    Good thing you are bringing this back in the courthouse, there is no way he's going to give you a penny unless he is being forced by the law to do so. Sounds like trying to work out an agreement with him is not going to work, he'll just try to get away with as much as he can. March may seem like far away, but it will be here sooner than you think.

    image Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Wow, that's crazy! Will he have to back pay for the 6 months he hasn't been paying anything? If not, that's insane!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • image Jocelyn0415:
    Wow, that's crazy! Will he have to back pay for the 6 months he hasn't been paying anything? If not, that's insane!

    I think so. I'm not sure how the whole process works. I'm hoping for $100/wk (I made a mistake above saying we agreed on $225. I meant $125. Sorry!). And if that's the case he's well over $2,000 in arrears. We'll see. Unless he has a "real" job, I won't see any of it. The last I knew he didn't have a job and was working "under the table" for a friend's company. He's such a joke. His parents must be so proud. He lives with them, by the way (the last I knew).

    They'll garnish his tax returns, but his MA tax return will probably be nothing because he'll be penalized for not having health insurance and his federal will probably be low because he was only collecting unemployment all year, with the exception of only a couple of months.

  • So sorry you have to deal with that...  As a pp wrote I can't believe how some men can do that... just "wash their hands and not be a father"  that is crazy...

    so very unfair to Mom and LO!! 

    T& P's to you! 

  • image STCJM:

    image Jocelyn0415:
    Wow, that's crazy! Will he have to back pay for the 6 months he hasn't been paying anything? If not, that's insane!

    I think so. I'm not sure how the whole process works. I'm hoping for $100/wk (I made a mistake above saying we agreed on $225. I meant $125. Sorry!). And if that's the case he's well over $2,000 in arrears. We'll see. Unless he has a "real" job, I won't see any of it. The last I knew he didn't have a job and was working "under the table" for a friend's company. He's such a joke. His parents must be so proud. He lives with them, by the way (the last I knew).

    They'll garnish his tax returns, but his MA tax return will probably be nothing because he'll be penalized for not having health insurance and his federal will probably be low because he was only collecting unemployment all year, with the exception of only a couple of months.

    What a waste of fvcking space. Seriously. 

    I'm sorry you're dealing with that. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
  • Your son deserves so much more.  I am sorry he(ex) is that way, but I am glad he (C) has you.
    imageBaby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image

  • image STCJM:

    image Jocelyn0415:
    Wow, that's crazy! Will he have to back pay for the 6 months he hasn't been paying anything? If not, that's insane!

    I think so. I'm not sure how the whole process works. I'm hoping for $100/wk (I made a mistake above saying we agreed on $225. I meant $125. Sorry!). And if that's the case he's well over $2,000 in arrears. We'll see. Unless he has a "real" job, I won't see any of it. The last I knew he didn't have a job and was working "under the table" for a friend's company. He's such a joke. His parents must be so proud. He lives with them, by the way (the last I knew).

    They'll garnish his tax returns, but his MA tax return will probably be nothing because he'll be penalized for not having health insurance and his federal will probably be low because he was only collecting unemployment all year, with the exception of only a couple of months.

     Are you sure your ex isn't my brother???? 

    Sorry, wrong bum.  If wished these guys realized how much they're hurting their children by not supporting them and not being in their lives.

    image

    image
  • I am so sorry!!!!!! I would be beyond frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • I already replied on SP, but I wanted to add something.  I know it's SO, SO hard.  I totally am there with you (not sure if you read my response yet).  But something that I have learned is to *try* not to get upset about things if you cannot change them.  Do what you can to get the money but try not to dwell on what a waste of oxygen he is.  It's not worth YOU losing your peace and serenity.

    I saw my superdouche deadbeat XH yesterday (well, I saw his truck) and I got so mad for a second and thought about how weird it was that I have a child with this man who's such a complete and total loser.  And then I just let it go.  It wasn't worth me stressing over. 

    Feel free to pm me if you want.  I am right there with you.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image

    PM me for the new blog address!
  • image Jocelyn0415:
    What a waste of fvcking space. Seriously. 

    I'm sorry you're dealing with that. 

    This. Good luck - I hope things work out in your favor quickly.

    image

    image
    image

  • I'm sorry. I can't imagine not being an active part of my child's life. It sounds like he's being selfish and has other priorities.Your LO is lucky to have you as a mom!
  • image STCJM:

    image Jocelyn0415:
    Wow, that's crazy! Will he have to back pay for the 6 months he hasn't been paying anything? If not, that's insane!

    I think so. I'm not sure how the whole process works. I'm hoping for $100/wk (I made a mistake above saying we agreed on $225. I meant $125. Sorry!). And if that's the case he's well over $2,000 in arrears. We'll see. Unless he has a "real" job, I won't see any of it. The last I knew he didn't have a job and was working "under the table" for a friend's company. He's such a joke. His parents must be so proud. He lives with them, by the way (the last I knew).

    They'll garnish his tax returns, but his MA tax return will probably be nothing because he'll be penalized for not having health insurance and his federal will probably be low because he was only collecting unemployment all year, with the exception of only a couple of months.

    Im really sorry you have to go through this as I have watched my sister go through this for years. Its crazy to think someone could not care about their own child. Not that it makes it any easier but they will continue to garnish his wages until hes caught up. Also, he won't be able to claim the baby under his returns either until hes completely caught up. (Im assuming you will do every other year) My sisters ex owes around $12,000 so she has been able to claim her 2 kids for the last 2 years because of this.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards