1st Trimester

so hard not to tell.

We just found out this saturday at 15 DPO that I'm KU (hooray!).  I'm super excited and want to tell everyone on the planet, but at just over 4 weeks, that seems like a risky proposition.

 What did you do to ease the wait?  I'm having an AWFUL time not telling anyone yet. I just don't trust anyone to not tell one more person, and then that person tells one more, and then that person...

You see where I'm going with this.

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Re: so hard not to tell.

  • I told my mother first... then a few weeks later I told my dad... it was nice having someone to talk to about it who could relate, but I also worried that she wouldn't be able to keep a secret well... she did very well actually!  We still haven't told my husbands family, or my sister... I'm waiting it out until Wednesday when we (hopefully) get to hear the heart beat for the first time... THEN we'll tell more people because we'll know something is actually in there!

     Long story short, it's nice to have at least one person you can talk to... it makes keeping the secret a lot easier. 


  • I just got a BFP this morning and I'm having the HARDEST time not telling anyone! My husband and I agreed to wait a bit, seeing as how it's still very early and we told a bunch of people last time and then we had a m/c. So we are waiting a while this time. But it's sooooooooooo hard!
    Wyatt 9/6/2011 Tessa 7/5/2013
  • We found out on Saturday as well (I was 14 DPO).  Like you, I am also having a hard time.  I told my best friend and I'm happy I have at least one person to talk to about it besides DH.  I'm worried about tomorrow when I go back to work (especially around friends that knew we have been trying for a long time).  I have a really hard time keeping secrets (especially really exciting ones)!  We have our first u/s Feb. 8, and I want to wait until after that to tell our parents.  Keeping this from my mom is going to be tough!  
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  • We aren't telling anyone this time because last time we told our parents at around 6 weeks and told them NOT to spread the word, but I had people coming up to me at work, like the next day, saying congrats.  MIL just HAD to tell her friends.  I was so pissed.  Random people knew when my siblings didn't even know.  I thought about telling everyone BUT her because they can keep a secret, but I think we will wait.

    How long are you planning on waiting?  Will you tell everyone at once?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BFP 1/8/11 - U/S 2/24/11 (11wks) no heartbeat measuring 6w1d - D&C 2/28/11

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  • It was hard not to tell, but at the same time I loved having such a big, exciting secret that was only between DH and myself.
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  • image jkfranklin:

    We aren't telling anyone this time because last time we told our parents at around 6 weeks and told them NOT to spread the word, but I had people coming up to me at work, like the next day, saying congrats.  MIL just HAD to tell her friends.  I was so pissed.  Random people knew when my siblings didn't even know.  I thought about telling everyone BUT her because they can keep a secret, but I think we will wait.

    How long are you planning on waiting?  Will you tell everyone at once?

    I don't know how long we'll wait. I'd LIKE to wait til the end of February but not sure that's going to be possible! Eric's birthday is February 20th and I thought it would be fun to announce it then. But then, trying to get everybody together is another story. AND waiting another month! Ack!

    Wyatt 9/6/2011 Tessa 7/5/2013
  • We just found out a week ago, and we're planning to tell our parents first, next Sunday.  It's killing me.  At the same time, though, we were away at a baby shower with a bunch of friends this weekend, and it was sort of fun having this HUGE secret just between the two of us.  It was fun when I wasn't sick, anyway.  Wink
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  • Well, we were planning on waiting until our u/s when we could hear the heartbeat, however that lasted about 30 seconds! :) I just couldn't not tell everyone! I understand why people wait, but it just didn't work that way for us(or should I say it didn't work that way for me!). We told our parents, siblings and closest friends first, and then it was everywhere! But, I love it this way, because now I can vent, talk, ask advice and just plain be excited whenever and wherever I want to!! YAY
  • Man, I'm glad I'm not alone!! This is impossible! Especially when I'm trying to think of reasons why I'm not drinking. I told my mom and that is it so far. I'm just going to try to wait as long as possible. I just don't want to jinkx anything.

    btw, I also found out on Saturday, what a great day for all of us!




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  • With DD we only told MY mother and everyone else found out just after 12 weeks when we heard the heartbeat.... some of my friends were really hurt that we didnt tell them.... they had said you should tell people who you would want to have support from if something should happen..... so we have told a total of 5 people...that one best friend who was hurt, called literally 5 seconds after I saw the test was positive.
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  • We initially planned to wait until end of 1st tri, then quickly amended that to after the 8wk US when we'll (fingers crossed!) be able to see the heartbeat.

     I love my mom--I really, really love her--but I don't think I'd want her to be my support person if something went wrong. She would be so sad and I don't think I could handle her sadness on top of ours.

    And it feels kind of wrong to tell other people if we aren't telling our parents.

    We also have several close friends and family members who have lost pregnancies and want to let them know from us directly and privately before they hear it from someone else, but we most want to tell people who will just be excited, not sad, so then the group expands, and we're back to not telling anyone.

     I am DYING to tell someone in real life.

     Congrats to all the 1/15 BFPs and all the girls on this board!

    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • I agree. I got my BFP today and I wanted to call my mom almost immediately but I don't want to excite her just in case.

    Luckily though...to ease this urge, I did tell some people... but they're people who can't for instance accidentally out me too early at work or something of the like.

    I told the two friends that knew I was TTC because I felt they had the right to know and I knew they'd be excited. I also told one of my closest friends who would never tell a soul anyway and besides, she lives in TX. As far as family goes, we told my sister in law. Her daughter's 2nd birthday is coming up very soon and we knew she'd be so excited.  It'll be great to have her to talk to when I start feeling more symptoms.

    All these people know that at any point, my body can reject the baby and I can have a miscarriage...as long as I'm in my 1st trimester...so I told them none of this is set in stone although I am hoping against hope it is!!!

    Still, I urge to just go ahead and tell my parents and my grandma but I'll just have to keep it quiet until I know it's safe! 

    Also, writing in a journal will probably help. Instead of telling the people I trust and like the most at work, I wrote in a journal on my break and it helped a lot. I feel like it'll continue to be of aide throughout my entire pregnancy.

    Calvin Lennon

    BFP 1/17/2011, EDD 10/2/2011, born 9/27/2011

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  • Sorry, I'm no help.

    I told EVERYONE at like.. three weeks.


  • It is really hard for me not to tell my mom...I tell her everything.  DH and I agreed to wait until after my first appointment to tell our parents.  I think we'll try to wait until 12 weeks to tell siblings and extended family, as well as friends.  I'm waiting for my doctor's office to call me back to schedule my first appointment right now, and I'm even being impatient about that hahah.  I really need to calm down Stick out tongue
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  • I really did think I'd be excited to have such a great secret. Instead, I am like a small child about to burst at the seams.


    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • Everone's different. First time around we told everyone way too early and it was awful since we ended up miscarrying.

    This time around we've waited. After a strong h/b at 8wks we told close friends and family but thats it until the 2nd tri.

    BFP 5/21/10, Missed m/c 7/5/10 at 11w3d (baby measured 7wks), D&C 7/7/10

    Aug/Sept 2010 - CD3&10 b/w & u/s, genetic testing, SA, HSG, & Lap/Hyst to remove septum

    12/09/10 BFP #2! @11dpo Stick baby stick!

    7/05/11 Castle Benjamin born at 33w5d. Came home after 23d in the NICU at 37w0d!



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  • wtih the first two I told right away.  We haven't told anyone about this one yet because it's my third pregnancy in 3.5 years.  People are going to have a different reaction so we wanted to wait awhile.  There is no rule that says you have to wait.
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  • Well this is our first and after trying for over 2 years! I told family and friends. People may disagree but it is a personal decision.....kinda like I dont agree with smoking and drinking during pregnancy, although it is none of my business. I say enjoy the time, you will have support no matter what happens.
    Lynette Kaitlyn Jones arrived August 23rd, 2011! Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie First Birthday tickers Photobucket
  • I find it really hard to not tell my family.  My dad came over to watch the Steelers game Saturday, and it was so hard to not tell him then.  We have our first appointment on 1/28.  We're probably going to tell our families shortly after that.  I've found that posting here and on The Nest Book Club has helped me.  Telling the ladies over at The Nest Book Club let me have that excitement of telling, but I don't have to worry about any of them spilling the beans to my family.
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