Postpartum Depression

Depression during pregnancy-can't stop crying.

A little background, lots of depression in my family and while I experienced it mildly as a teenager, it was never bad.  I didn't seem to have any while pregnant with our son and I don't think I had PPD...but the past few weeks, I haven't been able to stop crying.  I can barely pull it together to dress myself.  I can feed my son and change him and play with him, but I feel so overwhelmed and anxious all the time that I keep sobbing in front of him, and then I feel like a shitty mother and then I feel extreme guilt.  I get very anxious about things that I don't think bother other people, awful worries about the baby and our son.

I stay at home and my husband has a full time job and is trying to start his own company, so he has early meetings before we're even up for his own company and then has to work all day, and either brings more work home or has late meetings.  This Saturday he'll be gone from 6 am to midnight for a business trip and I feel like we never see him and that I never get a good long break from being the sole caregiver.  I've talked with him about it but essentially he seems to feel like this is the way it's going to be until he can quit his day job and work from home on his own company, around the time the baby is born.  We have family in the area, but I feel that I can't ask them for help because all of them either work or are extremely nosey and would need to know why I wanted help-I can't go into that without crying in front of them and I just don't want them knowing how messed up I feel.

My husband is on anti-depressants and I have an OB appt. tomorrow, so I'm going to talk to my doctor (also his doctor, who prescribed his meds) about it and see if she can recommend anything.  Our insurance won't cover therapy and money is tight, but it should cover medication if she thinks I need it.

I was just wondering if anyone can relate.  I feel so alone and isolated-I don't really have many friends and none that I can talk to about any of this.  I tried telling my husband but I don't feel like he was at all understanding, because he told me he's been more depressed than I've ever felt and that I'll be fine and it's just hormones.  

But this has been going on two weeks and it won't go away. 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Depression during pregnancy-can't stop crying.

  • I'm so sorry! I can totally relate. The good news is that there are options that can help you and that are safe for your baby. Prozac and Zoloft (both of which have very cheap generic versions- like $7 a month cheap), are safe through the 2nd trimester. There is some risk for fetal lung development in the 3rd trimester, but you can talk with your provider about the pros and cons.

    Many expectant moms are afraid that taking meds will hurt their baby, but remember that depression poses risks for your baby, like low birth-weight. With both of my pregnancies I found the 2nd trimester especially fraught with anxiety. In the first pregnancy I didn't take meds, and now I'm in my 2nd trimester, on a low dose of Prozac, and it makes a world of difference. 

     Also, even if you can't afford therapy, talking about it is important! It's great that you posted here, and you should seek out other online forums.  Perinatal depression is the pits. Good luck!

  • I take Anti-depressants as well, and my husband needs them but thats another story. :) I don't really know how to help I'm in a similar situation I guess. My husband recently lost his job and is having a hard time getting hired anywhere because of the economy and because he is in the military still waiting to leave for bootcamp. I can't get enough hours at work and only bring home about 600$ a month. We're having to move out of our apartment and a whole bunch of stuff related to that have me going up the wall. I'm only 20 weeks pregnant but the symptoms are hitting me hard especially because I've always been one of those people that physically hurts when I'm overly stressed. I don't think my anti depressants are working anymore. I feel like something is wrong with me because I hate being pregnant. I don't hate my baby, I wish he was here already. I just hate the changes happening to my body. I don't like being bigger, my back hurting, people touching me all the time. I've always been kind of a loner and now all of a sudden everyone wants to tell me how to live my life. With a bad temper to begin with, being way to proud for my own good, and hormones on top of it I'm VERY surprised I haven't decked someone yet. I am constantly in a bad mood when I'm normally an upbeat person. I never feel comfortable in my own skin and feel like I have Postpartum Depression before the "post" part even comes into effect! If you are feel overwhelmed and stressed on a regular basis you need to consult your doctor. It's very important for your health and the babies. Some studies even suggest that stress can lead to complications in labor.


    In relation to anti-depressants hurting the baby- If your out of your 1st trimester the risks associated are VERY low and usually if you need the medicine the stress that you have without the medicine is BY FAR worse than the medicines themselves. I consulted multiple doctors before continuing my medication, but like I said with all the hormone fluxes I don't think mine is working the way it should anymore. 

  • Thank you for the responses, I really really appreciate them.  I have an appointment today with my OB and I'm hopeful that she'll have some good suggestions too.  

    I can really relate to not hating the baby, but hating being pregnant.  I feel like I never had great control over my emotions, but it's especially bad during pregnancy, particularly because I'm not sleeping well and my back is constantly hurting.  I'm surprised to be so unhappy all the time, because my first pregnancy wasn't like this at all.  I guess part of that is because I didn't have a toddler to care for for the first pregnancy, but the first trimester was a lot worse this time around. 

     Thanks for the reassurance that some of the medication is fine for pregnancy.  I know the stress can't be good for the baby.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • No problem. It was really nice to tell someone how I feel. I have an appointment tomorrow with my dr. hopefully he'll have some suggestions on my meds as well. Good luck! Let me know how it goes!.
  • I hope you can get the help you need. Do you have insurance through your husband's job? If so most employers offer EAP or employee assistance program. Most of the time you can get up five free sessions with a therapist or consuelor. I have used this for myself. I only went to two sessions (pre-pregnancy) but it honestly really helped. Also do you belong to a church? Alot of the time you can go talk to your priest or pastor and they should be able to provide some consueling. It may be faith based, but sometimes it just helps to get your feelings out to an impartial third party. One other suggestion I have is to enlist the help of family and friends. Do you have someone that could come sit with your kid for a few hours? Go shopping, get a pedicure, see a movie with friends etc.  Maybe just a change of pace could help you out. I am glad you are talking to your doctor about meds. Best of luck to you.
  • We do have insurance through my husband's work, but according to him there isn't any coverage for mental health/therapy.  He's checked into it for himself.  I'm going to try contacting the insurance company and see if that's correct or if it's possibly changed since he last checked, about a year ago.

    We're somewhat religious, but don't really belong to a specific church.

    My doctor was very concerned and is having a social worker/therapist contact me soon, who hopefully can direct me to a  therapy session that works on a sliding scale, and she prescribed Zoloft for me.  I spoke to my mom as well this morning and she's more than wiling to visit more and help out, so that will be a big help.  She suggested I stop being such a hermit and go out more, which I think would help too.  I'm very used to just staying at home, which I'm sure adds to the loneliness and depression.

    Thanks for your response! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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