A little background, lots of depression in my family and while I experienced it mildly as a teenager, it was never bad. I didn't seem to have any while pregnant with our son and I don't think I had PPD...but the past few weeks, I haven't been able to stop crying. I can barely pull it together to dress myself. I can feed my son and change him and play with him, but I feel so overwhelmed and anxious all the time that I keep sobbing in front of him, and then I feel like a shitty mother and then I feel extreme guilt. I get very anxious about things that I don't think bother other people, awful worries about the baby and our son.
I stay at home and my husband has a full time job and is trying to start his own company, so he has early meetings before we're even up for his own company and then has to work all day, and either brings more work home or has late meetings. This Saturday he'll be gone from 6 am to midnight for a business trip and I feel like we never see him and that I never get a good long break from being the sole caregiver. I've talked with him about it but essentially he seems to feel like this is the way it's going to be until he can quit his day job and work from home on his own company, around the time the baby is born. We have family in the area, but I feel that I can't ask them for help because all of them either work or are extremely nosey and would need to know why I wanted help-I can't go into that without crying in front of them and I just don't want them knowing how messed up I feel.
My husband is on anti-depressants and I have an OB appt. tomorrow, so I'm going to talk to my doctor (also his doctor, who prescribed his meds) about it and see if she can recommend anything. Our insurance won't cover therapy and money is tight, but it should cover medication if she thinks I need it.
I was just wondering if anyone can relate. I feel so alone and isolated-I don't really have many friends and none that I can talk to about any of this. I tried telling my husband but I don't feel like he was at all understanding, because he told me he's been more depressed than I've ever felt and that I'll be fine and it's just hormones.
But this has been going on two weeks and it won't go away.