Baby Showers

Shower for adoption?

A co-worker of my mom's is formally adopting a child (she's fostered her for a year or so) and some of her friends mentioned throwing her a shower when it's all finalized.  The little girl is 8 or 9.  My mom didn't think a shower was necessarily appropriate, or that gifts would make any sense since the little one is older, but I told her I'd ask you ladies and see if any of you know of etiquette in this situation.


Re: Shower for adoption?

  • I do see a reason for a party but I dont think it should be a shower. Maybe a Welcoming party of some sort. And yeah I agree gifts just dont make sense. It seems more appropriate to just have a get together to celebrate the adoption. 
  • I think it's 100% acceptable! I would think any gifts would be centered around gifts for the little girl, much like a birthday party.
  • I agree with the PPs, a celebration is totally in order, just perhaps not a shower.  Since she has been a foster for a while, I'm sure she has a room of her own at the house, but if it hasn't been solidified as "her" room yet, maybe gifts could include items to personalize the little girl's bedroom or other items that would make her feel special and honored as part of the family.  If she's changing her name, then maybe something with a neat monogram.  Like a "welcome to the family" party, but since she's been there for so long and obviously already a member of the family, maybe sometime like a mother-daughter tea party would be more appropriate.  I'm sure there are many fun ideas that could make it a very special day for all! Maybe the ladies on the adoption board might have some more ideas for you.
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  • I agree that a party is definitely in order, but it would not really be a shower.  It could simply be a congratulations/welcome party for both of them.  A family centered party would be especially fitting.
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  • yes, definately a party or BBQ sort of situation!  I have friends who have 7 kids, 5 of which have been adopted from foster care.  They just had a celebration BBQ when the adoption went through on the 2 latest children.  It's nice to celebrate them and welcome them into the extended family/friends.  I don't think they expected gifts though.
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  • For my niece and nephew that were adopted they had an adoption finalization party.  It was to celebrate that the adoption was final and they were officially a family.  I think a shower, is probably not what I would call this, but a celebration of the event is definitely in order.
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  • I think its a great idea but I don't think I'd call it a shower, either. I attended a shower for my aunt when she adopted my cousin, who was 6 months old at the time. It was held 2 months after he came to live with her but before the adoption was completed. 

    I think presents would be more centered around the girl like a birthday party. I would ask the mom what size she wears and buy her some pretty clothes.  

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  • A shower for adoption is perfectly acceptable and wonderful. It makes the parents feel like their new child will have the same start as every other new child just from a different mommy's belly. I do have to say though that if the little girl has been with them that long they probably already have what she needs. I think a congratulations party would be best. She doesn't need to be "re-welcomed" to the family I'm sure she already feels these are her parents and that would just confuse her and maybe bring up some bad feelings. Congratulate the parents and ask her (and mom and dad) if there is anything she needs. Maybe a new bedspread and stuff to do her room up in. You could even have a re decorating party for her bedroom.
  • Some type of party would be lovely gesture, but I don't think a shower really fits the special occasion.  Perhaps a tea with the little girl invited as a second guest of honor would work?
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  • image pook:
    I think it's 100% acceptable! I would think any gifts would be centered around gifts for the little girl, much like a birthday party.





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  • A party is absolutely in order!  I would give a gift, b/c I'm always looking for reasons to give gifts.  I think that something with her new monogram on it would be fun and meaningful.
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