Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Co-Sleeping VS Crib

My 2.5 month old sleeps in the bed with us. He has actually gotten better than he was a couple of weeks ago. A couple of weeks ago he would only fall asleep if we were both facing each other and my arm was under his head. Now, he will at least sleep in the middle of me and DH. He is not a very good sleeper. He is constantly moving and grunting and moving his arms which wakes him up. Sometimes he starts grunting so much (& it's not even close to time to eat) that I have to get him face to face to me to get him to sleep. I do not mind him sleeping in the bed with us at all and I don't even mind him "cuddling" with me, but I don't want him to sleep with us for forever. I do want him to eventually sleep in his crib. DH isn't all about "cuddling" with LO of course and sometimes thats the only way he will go to sleep. I go back to work a week from today and DH keeps saying that I need to break the "cuddling" habit because he will never be able to get him back to sleep after I leave for work in the mornings. This is going to be a hard habit to break because I love doing it! I would like to at least try and see how LO reacts to his crib before I go back to work but I'm afraid that he isn't going to sleep good in it because he doesn't sleep well with us either. I guess I'm just looking for suggestions on how to get him to fall asleep in his crib easily especially since he is startled very easily (he hates to be swaddled) and wakes himself up constantly. Also, everybody keeps telling me that the longer I wait the harder it will be, what's the longest some of you have waited?

Gah, I'm so not looking foward to even trying this!

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Re: Co-Sleeping VS Crib

  • I have my own problems and won't een attempt to tackle your questions but I have a suggestion. DS is startled too but I couldn't swaddle him without him freaking out. I've learned to wait until he's not in "active" sleep, so no fluttering eyes, no flailing, etc. When he's dead weight I can easily swaddle. After his night feeding last night I was able to swaddle immediately; sometimes I have to wait 20 minutes or so. It's worth it at night for him to be calmer and sleep longer.
  • yeah if you cant swaddle him right away lay the blanket under him and when hes out swadle himall my 4 kids have been "arm" babues and slept this way my youngest did for like 3 mos n then boom just started sleeping in the crib try doing it for nap time to see how he ajusts. or put him in the crib and just let him wiggles it out to ween our oldest daugher who i thought would sleep with us forever i put her in the crib n let her wiggle it out unless she started crying but just let her in the crib a lil onger each night. also you could try one of those lighted luluby toys those things can be a life saver. or try puttin baby in the crib next to your bed so he can see you and put ur hand in the crib with him so he dosent feel alone. hope this helps night time sleeping seems to be the bigest baby hurdle with my first kid he slept with us till he was 18 mos lol.
  • OMG, I thought i was reading my own post.  I have an almost 3 month old son and he is currently in the bed with us and does not sleep longer than 4 hrs without being fed.  He moves around a lot, grunts, figits and cannot fall asleeep without bouncing him.  I too dread trying to put him in his crib too!  He actially sleeps the best lying on my or my dh's chest.  of course we cannot do this forever, but I am so afraid to put him in his crib b/c I know he will cry and it will be hard.  So, I am glad you started this post b/c I need advise too!  I am back to work and utterly exhausted. Hope we find some good advice!

     

  • This is my experience with Evelyn: She wouldn't sleep in her bassinet.. at all. She had to be put to sleep snuggled up with me, her head and chest on my shoulder, my arm around her (yes, she slept on her tummy... it was the only way she'd stay asleep for more than 10 minutes!). When she was about 3 months 1 week, we managed to put her down in the middle of the bed between us... on her tummy. Since she was right in bed with us, and I kept my hand on her all night to make sure she was still breathing, we weren't too concerned. After a week of sleeping all on her own in the middle of the bed, we set up the crib, and tried it.

    She slept all night, only waking up a couple times to eat. SUCCESS!!! So at 3.5 months, we had Evelyn out of the bed, and happily sleeping in the crib. I feel that she wasn't ready to sleep on her own until that point. But that was Evelyn. I have no idea how long Becky is going to bedshare with us, and since I'm breastfeeding her, it's more convenient to have her in bed. When I feel she doesn't want to sleep with us any more, then I'll try to transition her to the bassinet or crib (depending on how old she is).

  • My LO just doesn't like his crib.  When I get up, I put him in his rocker which has a recline position and he falls asleep there.  But if I put him in his crib he hates it.  On the other hand, when DH swaddles him and puts him in the crib he doesn't mind.


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  • My LO doesn't fall asleep on his own, and he usually falls asleep when he's eating and than I can place him in the bassinett.  He would wake up as soon as I laid him down and I figured out it's because he was going from a warm body to a cold sheet.  So this is what I did.  I took a small bean bag thing (which you can make yourself with just cloth and some rice), and put it in the microwave for about 2 minutes before i started feeding him.  When it was time to burp him, I took the bean bag out of the microwave and laid it in the bassinett.  Once he was ready to go down, i took the bean bag out, laid him in the bassinett and he NEVER woke up!  He just wanted the warmth! :-)
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  • We had to move our dd to a crib after dh almost rolled on top of her while in our bed.  She has transitioned good.  She still grunts a lot in bed.

     Also she did not like to be swaddle so i just use a blanket and tuck it under her butt a little.

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  • I'm not as worried about your son breaking the cuddling habit as I am about you and your husband getting some sleep!

     What do you do for naps during the day?  Do you lay down with him then too?  I would start trying to get him to nap in the crib.  That way, if he wakes up, you can come in and soothe him.  And I know you said that your LO hates to be swaddled- we thought that our daughter did too at first.  But once we tightly swaddled her and rocked her to sleep, she slept much more soundly.  A lot of babies fight the swaddle at first, but it really helps them sleep better during the first few months.  And our baby is a big time grunter/moaner/sigher.  After one night of sleeping in our room, we moved her bassinet to her room.  I can hear her when she starts fussing or crying, but the grunts and sighs don't wake me up anymore.  It's so much better. 

    I'm not sure any of this is much help, because every baby/situation is so different, but I will say this- our first night home from the hospital, we sort of thought something was wrong with our daughter because we thought we could just lay her in the crib and walk away, and she would go to sleep (naive and hilarious, I know!) and that did NOT happen!  We spent so much time trying to get her to sleep- we tried 4 different swaddle blankets, tried to get her to sleep in the crib, bassinet and the swing.  It seemed like she only wanted to sleep in our arms.  But through a lot of trial and error, we've found some consistency and DD now sleeps through the night in her bassinet (and has for 6 weeks now).  Don't give up!  Just keep trying!

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  • DS slept in bed with us until a few weeks ago. The first week home, he would only sleep if we were holding him, so we slept out in our recliners for a few weeks. Then, we moved into bed and he would sleep with us if I had him tucked in my arm, cuddling with me. DH would do the same sometimes, so we could both get a chance to sleep comfortably. Eventually I started putting him down to sleep in his swing during the day for naps. He took well to that, so I bought the Rock and Play sleeper and he sleeps well in that. It makes him feel cuddled. At first we put him in the RNP for the first stretch, and then he would come into bed with us. We slowly kept moving up the time that he slept in it, until he finally adjusted to sleeping in it all night. 

    Previously to getting the RNP, we tried swaddling, and putting him in the bassinet with a Snuggle Nest. He didn't do well with that - woke up almost immediately. I also tried a sleep positioner. Nope. The RNP and swing were lifesavers for us. I am starting to hink about crib transitioning now. Not sure how that is going to go, but we have put him in it for naps here and there. I have the sleep positiner in the Snuggle Nest, because he likes to be inclined (reflux). He sleeps ok, but not great yet. I haven't tried it at night.

    Sorry that is so long. Hope I helped even a little!  

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  • image see2211:

    I'm not as worried about your son breaking the cuddling habit as I am about you and your husband getting some sleep!

     What do you do for naps during the day?  Do you lay down with him then too?  I would start trying to get him to nap in the crib.  That way, if he wakes up, you can come in and soothe him.  And I know you said that your LO hates to be swaddled- we thought that our daughter did too at first.  But once we tightly swaddled her and rocked her to sleep, she slept much more soundly.  A lot of babies fight the swaddle at first, but it really helps them sleep better during the first few months.  And our baby is a big time grunter/moaner/sigher.  After one night of sleeping in our room, we moved her bassinet to her room.  I can hear her when she starts fussing or crying, but the grunts and sighs don't wake me up anymore.  It's so much better. 

    I'm not sure any of this is much help, because every baby/situation is so different, but I will say this- our first night home from the hospital, we sort of thought something was wrong with our daughter because we thought we could just lay her in the crib and walk away, and she would go to sleep (naive and hilarious, I know!) and that did NOT happen!  We spent so much time trying to get her to sleep- we tried 4 different swaddle blankets, tried to get her to sleep in the crib, bassinet and the swing.  It seemed like she only wanted to sleep in our arms.  But through a lot of trial and error, we've found some consistency and DD now sleeps through the night in her bassinet (and has for 6 weeks now).  Don't give up!  Just keep trying!

    He will nap in his swing, but it's downstairs and I don't want to have to bring it upstairs every night just so he can sleep in it plus it would be another habit to break. He loved to be swaddled the first month, but now he just breaks out of it. I bought a swaddle me blanket but he is so hot natured that he burns up in it!

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