September 2011 Moms

Question for those waiting to tell others...

Are you not telling anyone at all or telling a select few? I went to my dr. today for viral conjunctivitis, and she asked if we had told anyone yet and I said no, we are waiting until 3 mos. Then she said rather surprised, not even your mom?

We are waiting in case anything goes wrong. But, I figured of all people who would be upset if something went wrong, besides us, it would be my mom. I don't want to get her hopes up as this would be grandchild #1 until further along.

 So, I figured I would see what you all are doing :)


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Lilypie - (hfj2)

Re: Question for those waiting to tell others...

  • we told family.  i will need my family to be there for us in the event that the worst happens.  plus, my mom has been through two m/c, so she would be the person i would turn to first.  

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  • I have 1 friend IRL who knows because she is TTC right now as well.  We will not tell our families/friends/co-workers until we have successfully moved to the 2nd Trimester.  

    We are not telling our families because our parents (specifically mine) wouldn't be able to keep quiet about it.  As much as it is killing me not telling them, I just don't want to have to un-tell people I never told (if something were to go wrong), or have work find out before I say anything to them.  If we knew our families would keep our secret we would tell them, but sadly they cannot so we are staying quiet until the end of February.

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  • image TheFannins729:

    we told family.  i will need my family to be there for us in the event that the worst happens.


    Family will definitely be there for us if something happens.  I will tell my close friends after the 8 week ultra sound.  After the first tri, most people we know will know.

  • I told my family and my boss, in case I accidentally throw up on her!
  • We are telling our immediate family and bffs. If something bad does happen I would need to talk with them anyway.
  • We have only told our immediate family and one good friend (since we will be in their wedding in June). I'm really glad that we told our family. Now we can talk about it openly with all of them and not have to keep a secret. Plus if something were to go wrong (heaven for bid!) I will have my support network! Big Smile

    :: Love & Tantrums-Baby Blog ::

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    So happy for my Labor Buddy - EmpireMomof3 and her DD Chloe!
  • We are going to tell our closest family/friends at 8 weeks..after the first appt, and everyone else (other friends, work etc) at 12+ weeks.  I think that if I did miscarry, I would really want the support from my family rather than having to keep a mourning a secret.  I also think that it truly depends on your experiences and relationships.  Everyone is different and if 3 months works for you then it works for you.  :-)
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    DD: Born 9/27/11
    Miscarriage 12/12/12 @ 6w0d
    BFP: 2/3/12 @ 9dpo Hoping for a sticky baby!
  • We told immediate family (parents, grandparents, and siblings) and a few of our closest friends that we see on a regular basis.

    We've already been through a loss and they were all amazing supports for us, I couldn't imagine going through that without them. So we figure if we're going to share the bad news with them anyway, then why not share the good news with them too.

    * PAL/PgAL Bumpie & NBC-Twi Nestie * image Bloggity Blog BFP #1 in 2001 ? natural m/c @ 9w4d ? TTC our first since 2009 ? BFP #2 on 8/25/2010 ? natural M/C @ 7w6d on 9/25/2010 Clomid cycle #1 @ 50mg = BFP #3 on 1/1/11 ~ EDD 9/14/2011!!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • We only told our parents. We are confident we can trust them to keep quiet though. Everyone else including our siblings can wait until we are out of 1st tri. We went back and forth on telling our parents so early but we see them all of the time since we all live so close to each other. We are pretty sure they would have figured it out on their own after a few times of me passing up my beloved cocktails. J I was also starting to freak out ( in a good way) about having a baby so it was a huge relief to be able to share our news with our parents and know how much they support us.

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  • We told my family (mom, dad, brother)... we all work together, so they sorta needed to know. Plus, I'm a huge wino and the second I don't have a glass of wine with dinner, they would have known anyway. :)

    With our first, we waited to tell select close friends until after the 1st dr. appt. We told the "world" after 12 weeks... which just so happened to be after the second appt.  

    We will probably do the same this time around. We don't even tell my ILs until after 12 weeks bc there is no way my MIL could keep this to herself... and it's not really fair to ask her to do so.  Better to tell her when we're ready for everyone to know.  

    We have had a loss and I was so glad we didn't have to "untell" a whole slew of people.  


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  • We've had several losses, so I've only told the people who were our support system previously... parents, my sisters, & our two best friends. I don't plan to tell coworkers until 2nd tri, if I can help it. And no facebook announcements until we hit viability at 27 wks.

    Sounds like you're pretty close to your mom... she would probably really appreciate knowing so that she can support you through everything :) 

    after 3 miscarriages, please oh please let this one stick!! ~~ blogging since 2006
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  • I will tell my family after my ultrasound on the 20th.  I will be right around 7 weeks at the time.  We won't tell other people until my 12th week.

    Married 7/08, ttc 11/08. Me 29, DH 30. Diagnose High FSH, DOR. DH perfect.
    After 4 failed iui's followed by 4 failed IVF's we finally got our BFP NYE
    Beta #1 - 730
    Beta #2 - 1460
    Beta #3 - 3150
    first u/s 1/18
    Matthew, Sara & Ella born 7/20/2011
  • We haven't told anyone yet. We decided to wait to tell our parents via Skype (they both live 8-9 hours away) if I have good betas this week.  I don't want to get their hopes up. We didn't tell our parents about our last pregnancy until my m/c and they were very supportive then so I'm glad we waited. To each their own though...

    TTC #1

    10/26/10 BFP: Natural MC at 5w,4d

    1/2/11 BFP: Natural MC at 6w,2d
    Dx: Compound Heterozygous MTHFR (A & C copies)

    3/12/11 BFP: Hoping 3rd time is the charm! EDD 11/20


  • Personally - we aren't telling many people until 3+ mos.  I'd rather just enjoy this little secret (with the very few that do know, including my sister, but NOT including my mom).  If something were to go wrong - I'll enlist the support of my mom and others... that way - I dont get their hopes up - then dash them... 

    Good luck! :-)


    1 Ruptured Ectopic m/c,
    1 Chemical Pregnancy m/c,
    2 rounds of Clomid,
    2 rounds of IUI,
    1 miracle BFP while waiting to start IVF!

    ~High five to my eBFF Chloe!~

  • We are waiting as well.
    We will tell my parents and my brother in the next couple weeks, but no one else until 2nd tri.  After our loss last time it was very hard to tell everyone and have no one really understand.  My mom was a god send though and, as well as DH, really got me through it.  I'm sure I will end up having to tell work sooner than later but they would have to find out if something happened as well.  I think it needs to be whatever you are most comfortable with.

    Married August 20th, 2005 to the love of my life.

    1st BFP August 6th, 2010. Missed MC discovered at 13 weeks. 

    2nd BFP January 5th, 2011. Beautiful Harper born September 28th, 2011.

    3rd BFP March 15th, 2013. Treated with methotrexate for ectopic pg at 7 weeks.

    4th BFP August 2nd, 2013. Sweet Micah born sleeping at 21 weeks with full T13. 5th BFP July 1st, 2014. Praying for a healthy, full term rainbow!

  • We told our immediate family this weekend (my parents, DH's parents, DH's sister + hubs, DH's aunt + uncle) because as cautiously optimistic as we are, we knew we'd like support if, God forbid, anything were to happen.  There are some family members we did not tell and they will find out on my birthday (I'll be just about 9 weeks) and the rest of the world will find out after the first tri is done.
    T&J 5.9.09 
    BFP #1 1.2.10 EDD 9.16.11 | Missed m/c 2.8.11 
    BFP #2 9.7.11 EDD 5.14.12 | C-section 5.8.12 [Paige Victoria] 
    BFP #3 7.8.14 EDD 3.22.15

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  • I think it's different for everybody (which seems to be the consensus)... we've decided this time to tell our families (which are large)... but to ask them to be particular in whom they tell until we get our results back.  After our m/c last December, we'd like to take things as they come.  However, I personally, can't imagine going through that again, just the two of us.  It was devastating... it's good to have some shoulders to lean on once in a while, and if a few people know we're pregnant to begin with, then if something were to happen, there's no explanation necessary.  Just my thoughts.
  • I told my BFF and DH told his cousin, who lives out-of-state. We want to wait until DH and BIL's b-day (they are twins) party and announce to immediate family then, since my first appt is on their actual birthday!

    I'm only 4 weeks, so we are still in the disbelief stage. Maybe if we make it to 6 weeks w/o, god forbid, something happening, we will tell then.


  • DH and I are waiting until after the first appointment to tell my Mom, his mom may be a few weeks later. Ideally we plan on telling my whole family on St. Patrick's Day, as we all will be together & it will be TOTALLY obvious if I am skipping out on the Guiness. We are just being cautious optimistic & I really am enjoying having something special just between he & I. No one even knows we were trying!

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  • I told a very very close friend and my boss.  We just want to make sure everything checks out ok before getting everybody excited.  My husband and BFF are all the support I need right now :) They have both been fantastic.

    Ultimately, it's up to you and whatever you feel is right for you. :)


    ****Signature warning Losses Mentioned****

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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP#1 07/01/2004 ~ EDD 03/10/2005 ~ 
    D&C 8/1/2004 @ 5w5d
    BFP#2 12/27/10 ~ EDD 9/06/2011 ~ DS born 08/14/11 via c-section, passed away 10/17/11
    BFP#3 09/07/12 ~ EDD 5/09/2013 ~ DS born 01/30/13 survived for 2 hrs
    08/06/14 Waiting for 1st IVF cycle to begin

    IVF#1: started stims 9/15; trigger 9/24; ET 9/26-5R 5M, 5F. 3 biopsied for PGD

    image           image

  • It's completely up to you, but I didn't want to tell my mom or family until I was more sure and comfortable with things, but after I told my mom, she explained that it wouldn't hurt to tell family because they can support you can help you get through things if anything does go wrong. I have a very big family that lives in town and they are slowly telling each other and my church has been spreading the news like wildfire and the way I see it, I'll have a lot of support and encouragement if anything does go wrong.

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  • We've told both our parents and a select close friends. We looked at it this way: If something were to happen, who would you want to talk to about it? -- Once we answered that question those are the people whom we've told. Everyone else will have to wait until 12 weeks :)
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  • with my daughter, we waited until after my first dr. appointment to tell the family.  for some reason, i didn't believe it was actually real [no matter how many positive pregnancy tests i took].  i was a little under 2 months pregnant at the time.  my friends at work knew immediately as i walk around the office with a coffee cup glued to my hand and then i stopped once i found out i was pregnant.

    i'm not sure how long we will wait to let everyone know that baby #2 is on the way...

  • We haven't told anyone yet either.  We are not telling my parents (across the country) because they aren't entirely supportive of us having kids right this minute (they love DH, they just don't think the timing is good...I say it's my life, I'll do what I want).  We haven't told DHs family because they live about 5 hours away and we're waiting until we're up there next time to tell them in person.  There's no way we could tell friends without telling family first, so no-one knows but you guys!
    Mediterranean Cruise, 2007 - Monaco


  • We are going to tell our parents and siblings this week. My parents are nearby so I'm trying to think of good way to get over there without giving it away (since we don't usually pop over or anything).  Everyone else will be a phone call since they are further away.

    I don't have an actual appt until 10 weeks (have an early u/s tomorrow due to some cyst like pain) and not only can I not keep it a secret that long but I do think my mom might be disappointed it she didn't know sooner.  And as others have mentioned we'd absolutely want their support no matter what happpens.


  • DH and I are planning on waiting until about 16 weeks for family and hopefully, 20 weeks for work.  We thought it would be nice to have something just between us to share. Smile

    Plus, once our parents know, EVERYONE on the planet will know and we aren't quite ready for that.  I'd like to just show up one day to work really pregnant and have not said anything, like in Knocked Up, because my boss is going to freak out.  LOL.

  • Both my brother's wife and my husband's sister have no children and have had multiple miscarriages.  We are pregnant with our 4th child.  We are so excited and would love to tell, but we just don't know what to say.  Help!  How do we approach them?  What do we say?
  • My mother knows, and a couple of close friends, but that's it for now.  We're waiting until after the first appointment to tell my daughter and other family members.  Just want to make sure things are progressing as they should before we tell everyone.
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