Our dog woke up at about 12AM barfing...DD woke up at 3AM crying...I pretended to be fast asleep while DH took care of cleaning up vomit and soothing DD. DH even called my name a few times and I faked snores....
I am secretly excited to start going in for my NSTs because it means I have an hour to myself 2x a week without a toddler around. I adore him and love being a mommy but the only break I ever get from him is the 1 1/2 on sunday mornings when he is in the nursery, and that is only if he is good.
Diabetic, 2IF, PCOS; blessed beyond words to be called "mommy" to Drew (6/30/09) and Alynn (5/16/11).
Parenting author for Women of Worth. Mom Blogger and photographer.
Andrew David: mixed receptive/expressive language phonological disorder, sensory processing disorder, Disruptive Behavior disorder-nos and insomnia.
My SIL recently had a son with her FI. Her FI refuses to let the boy near anything even remotely girly. If he crawls over to the daughters dolls he yanks it away saying, "you can only have this if you hump it". So when he isn't looking I give him the baby doll to hug and cuddle with.
Wow, what a jerk. I bet if he had a girl and she was playing with GI Joes he wouldn't mind.
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I am terrified of maternal death...anyone have some stats to calm me down?
I have no real stats, only anecdata.
I have been on this site for many years and I have seen one maternal death. A girl i went to HS with also recently died in childbirth. Both of them, along with Matt Logelin's wife (he is a blogger), died from amniotic embolisim. This scares me too, since I had a c-section just like all 3 of them did. A few books I have read have said that these can be caused by c-section after failed induction with prostaglandins (cervical ripening agents). Sorry I am not too helpful I just wanted to put that out there.
Our dog woke up at about 12AM barfing...DD woke up at 3AM crying...I pretended to be fast asleep while DH took care of cleaning up vomit and soothing DD. DH even called my name a few times and I faked snores....
I am terrified of maternal death...anyone have some stats to calm me down?
I have no real stats, only anecdata.
I have been on this site for many years and I have seen one maternal death. A girl i went to HS with also recently died in childbirth. Both of them, along with Matt Logelin's wife (he is a blogger), died from amniotic embolisim. This scares me too, since I had a c-section just like all 3 of them did. A few books I have read have said that these can be caused by c-section after failed induction with prostaglandins (cervical ripening agents). Sorry I am not too helpful I just wanted to put that out there.
With all three of them, the baby lived.
This! also, an embolism can many times be avoided by keeping active. This doesn't mean running a marathon but it does mean to make sure not to become a couch potato. Get up and walk around as much as you can if you have any kind of surgery. Keeping blood flowing greatly reduces the risk. It is heart breaking. A women I worked with had this happen and it was from a csection. She didn't stay active at all.
Do your research on prevention but try your best not to worry about it. Worrying wont make the stats change and wont make your situation change. Just do the best you can to avoid it. The rest leave in Gods hands (and if you don't believe in God then leave it with someone else)
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I resent that we won't have more help from the baby's grandparents, even though in the same breath I full accept the reality that this is DH's and my child and therefore our responsibility.
Ditto this. My reasons are different, though. My FIL has health issues, MIL is too wrapped up in herself & her own agendas and my parents are out of town (plus, they're pretty narcissistic as well). It just makes me sad that our child won't have any of the fluffy grandparent experiences I see our friends' kids having with their grandparents (ie going to the zoo, helping them with projects, staying overnight, etc). The super-selfish side of it is that I realize that DH's and my date nights will be much more limited as we won't have grandparents willing to watch the baby, nor will I have any help once baby is here. We are fortunate in that we have several great friends who have volunteered to watch the baby occasionally and I plan on taking them up on the offers. But all of the grandparent stuff makes me really sad.
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My SIL recently had a son with her FI. Her FI refuses to let the boy near anything even remotely girly. If he crawls over to the daughters dolls he yanks it away saying, "you can only have this if you hump it". So when he isn't looking I give him the baby doll to hug and cuddle with.
Wow. That guy sounds like a winner.......
My thoughts exactly.
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My DH is coming home "sick" from work and I have no sympathy for him. He says he is cold (duh its 15 degrees out) and thinks he might get a fever. Therefore he is sick. I know it makes me a bad wife, but I think he needs to suck it up. I feel like crap all the time and I still have to take chase ds all day and get my stuff done.
I am the worst wife when it comes to this kind of thing. I always think my DH is "faking it" or at least enhancing the severity of it. He gets the damn sniffles and he's on the couch being a pain for a week.
Blargh. I get not going into work (MH works in a hospital and can't be spreading germs) but jesus you can work a vacuum.
My dh is a design engineer, so he is by himself in his office at his desk all day. I dread him coming home, because he expects me to take care of him like I'm his mommy. Not gonna happen. I'm glad I'm not the only wife like this, it makes me feel less bad about it.
I used to be a nice wife and took care of him when he was sick until he started asking me for a throw up pot. I said " Dude, there is a bathroom in our room, it is just a few steps away, you can be a big boy and hold your mouth and run." I couldn't believe it, a throw up pot. I haven't used a throw up pot since I was 8. Apparently his mom spoiled him when he was sick. I think she stood by his bedside with a supply of cold wash rags for his forehead, fresh squeezed his orange juice and made him chicken soup from scratch. Oh and of course got him a throw up pot.
I talked to my friends about this phenomenon and it is very common among husbands. They turn to babies when they are sick.
I am really hoping that I am at least a week late when I go into labor. Why you ask because I am due the week before finals. I have two major finals the Monday and Tuesday after my due date. If I can make it past those two finals...then I will be very happy.
But I am nervous that I am jinxing it and I will have her early.
Mom of 3 (Ginny 4 yrs old), (Miles 2 yrs old), and (Mason due June 15th)
I have 2 different registeries for my second. No one knows about them except my DH, and well, all of you. I don't expect anyone to buy me anything for this baby, but I made them as my wish list- and I want the completion coupon. We can afford the things we need for our 2nd, the registry helps me know how much I should budget for. Really, we only need a double stroller and some girly things as this one is a girl and my first is a boy. Oh and not related to the registry but I totally plan on dressing her in ds's hand-me-downs.
I don't think 2nd showers for a baby of the opposite gender are tacky at all. I've attended many of them and never blinked an eye about it- they were all smaller, more intimate gatherings.
HOWEVER, registering for your 2nd baby is most definitely tacky. You shouldn't need the big stuff anymore (swing, crib, stroller, etc.) and if there is anything you do "need", only offer this info if asked. At one 2nd shower I went to, everyone invited chipped in money to buy the fam a nice double stroller, and then we all just brought small gender-specific gifts like clothes. I thought this was totally appropriate.
I'm still recovering from the shock of last friday when the US tech said 'It's another boy!" I'm still totally bummed that I won't be having a little girl to add to the family seeing as this is our final child. I get all that 'every baby's a blessing, be glad with what you have, all I want is a healthy baby', but I'm still disappointed because I was convinced that this was a girl just by how different everything was. It is what it is though and I have 23 weeks to 'adjust.'
My DH is coming home "sick" from work and I have no sympathy for him. He says he is cold (duh its 15 degrees out) and thinks he might get a fever. Therefore he is sick. I know it makes me a bad wife, but I think he needs to suck it up. I feel like crap all the time and I still have to take chase ds all day and get my stuff done.
I am the worst wife when it comes to this kind of thing. I always think my DH is "faking it" or at least enhancing the severity of it. He gets the damn sniffles and he's on the couch being a pain for a week.
Blargh. I get not going into work (MH works in a hospital and can't be spreading germs) but jesus you can work a vacuum.
My dh is a design engineer, so he is by himself in his office at his desk all day. I dread him coming home, because he expects me to take care of him like I'm his mommy. Not gonna happen. I'm glad I'm not the only wife like this, it makes me feel less bad about it.
I used to be a nice wife and took care of him when he was sick until he started asking me for a throw up pot. I said " Dude, there is a bathroom in our room, it is just a few steps away, you can be a big boy and hold your mouth and run." I couldn't believe it, a throw up pot. I haven't used a throw up pot since I was 8. Apparently his mom spoiled him when he was sick. I think she stood by his bedside with a supply of cold wash rags for his forehead, fresh squeezed his orange juice and made him chicken soup from scratch. Oh and of course got him a throw up pot.
I talked to my friends about this phenomenon and it is very common among husbands. They turn to babies when they are sick.
That was hilarious, and so true. My dh was "sick" once while I was pregnant with ds and laid in bed all stinkin day. He even brought a puke bucket with him to bed. He didn't use it once (because he wasn't really sick). His grandma called me and everything to make sure I was taking care of him, watching him, and making sure he ate enough. I was like, "he is a grown man, I'm not gonna sit there and make sure he eats all his soup."
Mom to 2 healthy boys, and a baby girl in Heaven.
Heard her heartbeat on 7/18, heartbeat was gone on 7/20.
Miss you forever.
-I am terrified of having a C-section. Although the possibility that we will have to resort to a c/s is low, I am so terrified of getting that "shelf" of fat when the scar heals, that I am considering switching OB's because mine will not do a vertical cut.
Yikes! I'm terrified of the surgery too (I've had one), but I think you're better off finding a doc who can do a transverse incision + tummy tuck than trying to find one to do a vertical incision. If you have any more kids you will not be allowed a VBAC if you have a vertical cut, plus it's riskier. I'd rather just get a tummy tuck later, plus not all women get the "shelf". I have plenty of flab, but I my scar area is actually very smooth.
My co-worker and friend is due a few weeks after me with her second child and she is still so skinny and cute. Plus all of her regular clothes fit her and she has cute maternity clothes from her first pregnancy. I'm feeling insecure around her and feel like a total fat @ss since I have gained so much weight over the whole past few months while dealing with IF issues and all that. I'm happy for her but I just feel like we are going to be compared to eachother since we work together. She looks like a twig and I look like a stuffed sausage!
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I am terrified of maternal death...anyone have some stats to calm me down?
I don't have any stats for you, but I can tell you that I petrified of this my last pregnancy... I never even thought about what it was going to be like to have a baby and be a mom.. I was convinced I was going to die during childbirth. I literally panicked the whole time I was at the hospital... I was a shaking wreck because I just knew I was going to die. But, I made it through and it really wasn't all that bad! And now I am going it again.... You will be fine!
I am terrified of maternal death...anyone have some stats to calm me down?
I don't have any stats for you, but I can tell you that I petrified of this my last pregnancy... I never even thought about what it was going to be like to have a baby and be a mom.. I was convinced I was going to die during childbirth. I literally panicked the whole time I was at the hospital... I was a shaking wreck because I just knew I was going to die. But, I made it through and it really wasn't all that bad! And now I am going it again.... You will be fine!
I was less nervous about maternal death until I read the anecdata. Now I am actually pretty nervous about it. As it is, I suffer from thanatophobia. It can actually keep me up at night.
Also, despite my dr telling me yesterday that I am a healthy pregnant woman, given my weight at the beginning and even now, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Although for the rest of yesterday I felt pretty carefree, I never stay worry free for very long.
I also need to confess that I am one of those people that plays FB apps. Not with any regularity really but I do have them and play them.
I have a tendency to get depressed because I have a distinct lack of friends. I just moved back to Louisiana and have no job. Not really alot of opportunity to meet new people and make friends. My shower is essentially going to just be family and possibly my SIL's friends.
Oh and I have recently become somewhat addicted to the silly judging shows. If I see the beginning, I can't turn it off! I try to avoid those channels during the day, but sometimes I fail.
I really don't like it when people want to tell you all the negative's about birth and the first few weeks baby is here. We all know that labor isn't easy or overly pleasant and that a new baby is hard to adjust too... How about some positive helpful comments???
No one seems to understand that even though my mother and I NEVER EVER got along, I miss her everyday and wish she was here for me when I go into labor. My grandmother thinks I'm crazy that I would want someone who verbally and physically abused me for 15 years of my life. But she was still my mom.
I have another one... I really hate all the dirty looks I get if I have to pick up a few cans of chew to send my husband or if I happen to grab a 6 pack for a friend while I'm on my way over to their house... Do people think that all of a sudden just because your pregnant you don't have to run errands or make a quick stop for anyone in your life?
I've seen a lot of back and forth about people getting angry about MILs and what-not calling the baby "mine" and so forth. Mine has never done that, but at Christmas one of DH's aunts said to me "You know this baby is going to have four mommies, right?!" referring to me, my two SILs, and my MIL.
I resent that we won't have more help from the baby's grandparents, even though in the same breath I full accept the reality that this is DH's and my child and therefore our responsibiilty. But I'm so jealous of my friends whose parents or other family members watch their children for them - in their own homes - so they don't have to go out and research daycares and worry about dropping their kids off and picking them up. DH and I have to use a daycare and we have no idea which one or what's going to happen when I go back to work still. It's so stressful and I wish we, too, had the "easy answer" that our friends have.
I'm so with you! We know these are OUR children but my gosh we have those friends that parents watch thier kids all day or night or whenever they want them too! Our kids have always went to daycare CAN WE SAY EXPENSIVE FOR 3 GONNA BE 4 KIDS! Don't get me wrong, my parents will watch them on a weekend night for a few hours if me and dh wants to go out. If they don't have plans or something but gosh i really wish i had the "easy answer" as well!!!
The way that I got my DH to allow me to use his clipper was to let everything grow out and then complain that it was too long to use a razor. He got so fed up with my "70s muff" that he let me use it.
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I had Taco Bell 2 days ago and it made my BP spike a bit. My feet are still swollen even with me resting them. It's going to take a few weeks to get it down grr.
I can't stand that I am not able to do things. I normally paint my home and clean and build anything I need. MH works crazy hours. Now that I am KU I can't do shiet and I have to wait on others to help me and it pisses me off to have to wait around on others.
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- the thought of BF terrifies me even though I did it for a few days with DD. Afterward I pumped.
- I wish I would be there when my boyfriend's ex finds out about the pregnancy. She told him for 10 years they couldn't get pregnant because of him. We tried for 4 months.
- my family can shove it. This child is loved and is wanted, if you don't agree leave me alone. The important people are happy about it.
- I haven't done a thing for the nursery yet
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I am really hoping that I am at least a week late when I go into labor. Why you ask because I am due the week before finals. I have two major finals the Monday and Tuesday after my due date. If I can make it past those two finals...then I will be very happy.
But I am nervous that I am jinxing it and I will have her early.
My due date coincides exactly with the date of my college graduation ceremony. I have made a personal pledge that I am going to be at that ceremony no matter what unless I am in active labor. I earned it!
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I'm so glad that OP made this thread, I need to vent.
My husband is in Korea for a year. When people ask me how I'm handling it, I reply, "It's difficult but it could be much worse! At least we get to Skype on the weekends and sometimes facebook chat on week days." So on Friday a coworker asked what I was doing tonight. I replied that I was probably going to relax and perhaps get on the internet (and wait for DH to get online).
And she responds, "Oh, that's right, you must not go out or do anything now that Eric isn't there." Then that *** f*cking laughed.
THEN, another coworker's husband is a contractor and he is spending a few weeks in a city about an hour away to work on a property. This coworker, who I am actually very close with (I'll call her D), mentioned it ONCE in conversation and then dropped it. The same evil woman (I'll call her P) who made the above comment has been talking NON STOP about how D is 'handling' him being gone for 'so long.' D is like, "uh, he comes home on the weekends, and we talk every night." Then she drops it. I really appreciate her thinking of my feelings when P asks these questions. I'm probably thinking way too into this, but I think P is doing this on purpose. I still want to slap her.
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Re: Flame Free Friday Confessions!
Our dog woke up at about 12AM barfing...DD woke up at 3AM crying...I pretended to be fast asleep while DH took care of cleaning up vomit and soothing DD. DH even called my name a few times and I faked snores....
Wow, what a jerk. I bet if he had a girl and she was playing with GI Joes he wouldn't mind.
I have no real stats, only anecdata.
I have been on this site for many years and I have seen one maternal death. A girl i went to HS with also recently died in childbirth. Both of them, along with Matt Logelin's wife (he is a blogger), died from amniotic embolisim. This scares me too, since I had a c-section just like all 3 of them did. A few books I have read have said that these can be caused by c-section after failed induction with prostaglandins (cervical ripening agents). Sorry I am not too helpful I just wanted to put that out there.
With all three of them, the baby lived.
This! also, an embolism can many times be avoided by keeping active. This doesn't mean running a marathon but it does mean to make sure not to become a couch potato. Get up and walk around as much as you can if you have any kind of surgery. Keeping blood flowing greatly reduces the risk. It is heart breaking. A women I worked with had this happen and it was from a csection. She didn't stay active at all.
Do your research on prevention but try your best not to worry about it. Worrying wont make the stats change and wont make your situation change. Just do the best you can to avoid it. The rest leave in Gods hands (and if you don't believe in God then leave it with someone else)
Ditto this. My reasons are different, though. My FIL has health issues, MIL is too wrapped up in herself & her own agendas and my parents are out of town (plus, they're pretty narcissistic as well). It just makes me sad that our child won't have any of the fluffy grandparent experiences I see our friends' kids having with their grandparents (ie going to the zoo, helping them with projects, staying overnight, etc). The super-selfish side of it is that I realize that DH's and my date nights will be much more limited as we won't have grandparents willing to watch the baby, nor will I have any help once baby is here. We are fortunate in that we have several great friends who have volunteered to watch the baby occasionally and I plan on taking them up on the offers. But all of the grandparent stuff makes me really sad.
My thoughts exactly.
I used to be a nice wife and took care of him when he was sick until he started asking me for a throw up pot. I said " Dude, there is a bathroom in our room, it is just a few steps away, you can be a big boy and hold your mouth and run." I couldn't believe it, a throw up pot. I haven't used a throw up pot since I was 8. Apparently his mom spoiled him when he was sick. I think she stood by his bedside with a supply of cold wash rags for his forehead, fresh squeezed his orange juice and made him chicken soup from scratch. Oh and of course got him a throw up pot.
I talked to my friends about this phenomenon and it is very common among husbands. They turn to babies when they are sick.
Here's a video for your enjoyment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXLHWmjA5IE
I am really hoping that I am at least a week late when I go into labor. Why you ask because I am due the week before finals. I have two major finals the Monday and Tuesday after my due date. If I can make it past those two finals...then I will be very happy.
But I am nervous that I am jinxing it and I will have her early.
I don't think 2nd showers for a baby of the opposite gender are tacky at all. I've attended many of them and never blinked an eye about it- they were all smaller, more intimate gatherings.
HOWEVER, registering for your 2nd baby is most definitely tacky. You shouldn't need the big stuff anymore (swing, crib, stroller, etc.) and if there is anything you do "need", only offer this info if asked. At one 2nd shower I went to, everyone invited chipped in money to buy the fam a nice double stroller, and then we all just brought small gender-specific gifts like clothes. I thought this was totally appropriate.
That was hilarious, and so true. My dh was "sick" once while I was pregnant with ds and laid in bed all stinkin day. He even brought a puke bucket with him to bed. He didn't use it once (because he wasn't really sick). His grandma called me and everything to make sure I was taking care of him, watching him, and making sure he ate enough. I was like, "he is a grown man, I'm not gonna sit there and make sure he eats all his soup."
I find the whiners most annoying of all.
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Yikes! I'm terrified of the surgery too (I've had one), but I think you're better off finding a doc who can do a transverse incision + tummy tuck than trying to find one to do a vertical incision. If you have any more kids you will not be allowed a VBAC if you have a vertical cut, plus it's riskier. I'd rather just get a tummy tuck later, plus not all women get the "shelf". I have plenty of flab, but I my scar area is actually very smooth.
I don't have any stats for you, but I can tell you that I petrified of this my last pregnancy... I never even thought about what it was going to be like to have a baby and be a mom.. I was convinced I was going to die during childbirth. I literally panicked the whole time I was at the hospital... I was a shaking wreck because I just knew I was going to die. But, I made it through and it really wasn't all that bad! And now I am going it again.... You will be fine!
I don't have any stats for you, but I can tell you that I petrified of this my last pregnancy... I never even thought about what it was going to be like to have a baby and be a mom.. I was convinced I was going to die during childbirth. I literally panicked the whole time I was at the hospital... I was a shaking wreck because I just knew I was going to die. But, I made it through and it really wasn't all that bad! And now I am going it again.... You will be fine!
I was less nervous about maternal death until I read the anecdata. Now I am actually pretty nervous about it. As it is, I suffer from thanatophobia. It can actually keep me up at night.
Also, despite my dr telling me yesterday that I am a healthy pregnant woman, given my weight at the beginning and even now, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Although for the rest of yesterday I felt pretty carefree, I never stay worry free for very long.
I also need to confess that I am one of those people that plays FB apps. Not with any regularity really but I do have them and play them.
I have a tendency to get depressed because I have a distinct lack of friends. I just moved back to Louisiana and have no job. Not really alot of opportunity to meet new people and make friends. My shower is essentially going to just be family and possibly my SIL's friends.
Oh and I have recently become somewhat addicted to the silly judging shows. If I see the beginning, I can't turn it off! I try to avoid those channels during the day, but sometimes I fail.
I really don't like it when people want to tell you all the negative's about birth and the first few weeks baby is here. We all know that labor isn't easy or overly pleasant and that a new baby is hard to adjust too... How about some positive helpful comments???
I've seen a lot of back and forth about people getting angry about MILs and what-not calling the baby "mine" and so forth. Mine has never done that, but at Christmas one of DH's aunts said to me "You know this baby is going to have four mommies, right?!" referring to me, my two SILs, and my MIL.
Nope, lady. This baby is going to have one.
I'm so with you! We know these are OUR children but my gosh we have those friends that parents watch thier kids all day or night or whenever they want them too! Our kids have always went to daycare CAN WE SAY EXPENSIVE FOR 3 GONNA BE 4 KIDS! Don't get me wrong, my parents will watch them on a weekend night for a few hours if me and dh wants to go out. If they don't have plans or something but gosh i really wish i had the "easy answer" as well!!!
- the thought of BF terrifies me even though I did it for a few days with DD. Afterward I pumped.
- I wish I would be there when my boyfriend's ex finds out about the pregnancy. She told him for 10 years they couldn't get pregnant because of him. We tried for 4 months.
- my family can shove it. This child is loved and is wanted, if you don't agree leave me alone. The important people are happy about it.
- I haven't done a thing for the nursery yet
My due date coincides exactly with the date of my college graduation ceremony. I have made a personal pledge that I am going to be at that ceremony no matter what unless I am in active labor. I earned it!
I'm so glad that OP made this thread, I need to vent.
My husband is in Korea for a year. When people ask me how I'm handling it, I reply, "It's difficult but it could be much worse! At least we get to Skype on the weekends and sometimes facebook chat on week days." So on Friday a coworker asked what I was doing tonight. I replied that I was probably going to relax and perhaps get on the internet (and wait for DH to get online).And she responds, "Oh, that's right, you must not go out or do anything now that Eric isn't there." Then that *** f*cking laughed.
THEN, another coworker's husband is a contractor and he is spending a few weeks in a city about an hour away to work on a property. This coworker, who I am actually very close with (I'll call her D), mentioned it ONCE in conversation and then dropped it. The same evil woman (I'll call her P) who made the above comment has been talking NON STOP about how D is 'handling' him being gone for 'so long.' D is like, "uh, he comes home on the weekends, and we talk every night." Then she drops it. I really appreciate her thinking of my feelings when P asks these questions. I'm probably thinking way too into this, but I think P is doing this on purpose. I still want to slap her.