Two Under 2

Not feeling connected to this pregnancy yet

I'm 11 weeks along and am excited for this baby.  At the same time I find that I have to remind myself that I'm pregnant and don't feel that early bond with this baby.  When I try and focus on connecting with him/her I pretty much get a blank slate.  The 1st trimester board seems be filled with either I'm dancing on the moon happy or I'm terrified something is wrong.  It's not that I'm not happy, I just don't feel like I'm pregnant.  I'm also not going to work myself into a frenzy that's something?s wrong.  I'm lucky in the regard that I have very asymptomatic pregnancies and know that just because I'm not having morning sickness or this or that doesn?t mean everything isn't healthy and well.  Sorry for the ramble, just wondering if anyone else with had a similar time immediately connecting with number two. 

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Re: Not feeling connected to this pregnancy yet

  • I think second pregnancies in general are different than first ones. With your first, your life is all about that pregnancy, reading books on pregnancy, etc. With your 2nd, you don't have that time to focus. I do feel less connected this time around, probably because I am so busy with DS all day and I didnt have that distraction when I was pregnant the first time around since my life was so focused on that pregnancy. There definitely is a bond and I am excited to meet my LO, but it's definitely not the same way I felt during my first pregnancy. I definitely have a lot of "what ifs" that go through my head-what if I don't feel the same connection to this baby as I do DS, etc. Deep down I know my doubts will vanish when I meet my DD, but they're still there from time to time.

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  • You are not alone!  I find myself constantly having to 'remind' myself that I am pregnant.  But, when I was pregnant with DD it was all I thought about all the time!  It is tough because my focus now is on work during the day and then on spending time with DD in the evenings and on weekends.  I have so much more going on in my life this time (mainly because of DD), that I don't have time to just sit and think about being pregnant. 
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  • I know things were going differently with my body with both pregnancies, but I never truly felt that it hit me either time.  I'm 21 weeks with the second, felt her start kicking, but still doesn't seem real. 

    It's okay, as long as holding the baby is different.

     Take care 

  • I still feel that way.  I am so wrapped up with DS and what he is doing and experiencing, that I tend to forget he's getting a little brother (and SOON).
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  • It takes time and you are still enjoying the "firsts" from the older baby. No doubt he or she keeps you busy.

    Don't worry, that connection will come even if it doesn't feel like it's there yet.

  • I feel the same. Part of me worries it will continue after it's born.  I've just been so invested in #1 it's hard to imagine dividing that attention evenly, but people do it ALL the time.  I just have to assume it will all work out in the end :).

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