Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Miscarriage on 1st Pregnancy, what to say?

Maybe I am thinking too far ahead here, but what am I supposed to say when/if we get pregnant again and someone asks "is this your first pregnancy?" "is this your first child?".  I am sort of dreading the question already because only a few people knew that we were pregnant and miscarried.  Any suggestions for how to deal with this in the future?

Re: Miscarriage on 1st Pregnancy, what to say?

  • wow...I hadn't even thought about this. Looking back I got that question so many times during this pregnancy. I wish I had an answer for you, but I think i'm a little lost on this one too...
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    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    BFP 1 on 10.30.10 spontaneous m/c on 12.28.10 at 12 weeks
    BFP 2 It's a girl! Born 1.18.12 at 39w
  • I feel like I'll probably say that it is my first child to anyone who needs to ask.  Everyone who really matters to me knows about our loss and won't need to ask. 

    But, at the same time I can totally see myself answering that I've had a previous loss...soooo yea, I don't know what I'll say either I guess.

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    11.10.10 from my belly to my heart at 11wks 5days

  • I'm right there with you. I haven't even thought about it. Like a pp said, everyone knew so the important people won't have to ask but, when it comes to someone who didn't know my situation, I don't know what I'd say..
  • I usually tell people that we have had previous losses and I'll tell them about our son. It makes people uncomfortable but I think it also helps people learn to be more sensitive about the questions they ask.
  • Say what you feel. I agree with pp - everyone we're close to knows. if someone I didn't know well asked, I'd be a bit irked, personally, and if they are uncomfortable with my response, they shouldn't ask. I'd just say whatever you want to call it, how they interpret that isn't your issue. If anything, it sucks to have to even contemplate it, but unless someone's been through this, I don't know if they consider that before asking questions such as these. 
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    BABY GIRL DUE: 12/12/11
    INDUCING: 11/22/11.
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