Hi everyone,
My hubby and I are very clear that we want to keep our son's name to ourselves until he is born. It seems that people, esp. my FIL do not want to respect this. He has gone so far as to give us a list of names he likes and to say that he had to say something now to have his input, and that while we are visiting we have to get this baby named.
Why would he have input? He's also not the only one who has given us a hard time. We still have 4 months to go, and while we have come up with some ideas, we still have no idea what the name will be.
Right now I just tell people we have no idea, and we'll know when the baby is born. Perhaps that just has to be my party line.
Anyone else have this issue? If so, what do you say to people? I would love some ideas before I have to spend the next 4 months defending our choice not to share!
Re: Advice needed! We want to keep our son's name to ourselves...
Best option: "We don't know yet" or "We haven't decided"
Backup option: Fake name. I recommend something really silly.
I just say, we haven't decided yet! And then when they say, oh you should name him Johnny! Just smile and say, we'll add it to the list!
That's what we do and it's a pretty positive way to handle it, I think. I would NOT tell people that even once you decide you won't be telling--that just creates a lot of bad feelings of being left out. Good luck!
we're just telling people that we're not telling anyone the names we have chosen. Simple as that!
This is what we did with our first kiddo. Worked like a charm even though our relatives were trying to get the name out of us.
And as for the pushy FIL, he might be pushy and saying that you "have to get this baby named" simply because you're saying that you don't know yet. Maybe once you say you've chosen a name, he'll lay off.
well there is one thing for sure...you are not alone. My husband and I are going through the same exact thing! We want more than anything to keep our name we picked to our selves and everyone thinks they have the right to know and have input. but I would have to agree just plain and simple tell them you are not sharing the name and you have made your own decision! Congradulations by the way
Alex
We didn't tell anyone our daughter's name before she was born. I was really nervous about my mom's reaction (and as it turned out she still didn't handle it great!).
Anyway, we basically said "we chose her name, but we aren't telling because we really don't want to hear people's reactions" to which I got a mix of "oh but I am sure I will love it" and then a LOT of stories of how people were really rude to someone they knew about their child's name.
We just stuck to our guns and gave the baby a funny nickname until she got here!
We are keeping our name secret. We are just telling people we aren't telling the name.
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
We've already started telling people we're naming our baby Otis, regardless of the gender. We'll be telling everyone boy/girl after our u/s and want to have something to share between just us for awhile.
Don't worry about what people say when you won't tell them the name you've picked. They'll get over it because, in all honesty, they probably don't really care anyway and are just being nosy.
Mmmm...cake!
With my first we didn't pick a name until he was almost a day old. We told everyone throughout the pregnancy that we weren't going to name him until we'd met him. We still got "suggestions" but everyone knew we weren't going to come down one way or another on a name.
I'd tell people that's what you're doing. If you don't have a name picked (as far as they know), how can you tell them? Just stay firm. I'm glad we did. It took a lot of the pressure off.
We have a name picked for our baby and we aren?t telling anyone the name until she?s here. When we?re asked if we?ve picked a name or have thought of any names, we were telling people that we?re trying to narrow it down or we have a couple of names picked & we?ll know which name we want once we see her. As of last night, we started telling people that we do have a name for our daughter & that everyone will know it after she?s born.
Last night at a family dinner MIL asked if we've picked a name yet (she?s been asking this more frequently); we told her we?ve narrowed it down to a few & we?re still thinking about it. She said ?oh, you have a name picked, you just aren?t telling.? DH told her ?You?re right. We do have a name for the baby, but we aren?t telling anyone the name until she?s born.? MIL made a face. BIL reminded her that he & his wife didn?t tell anyone the names of their kids until after they were born and no one made a big deal about it. BIL then pointed out that we?ve already told everyone the baby is a girl & we didn?t have to do that, so people should be ok with knowing that much.
this is exactly what we did too. i didn't let people's name suggestions bother me.
We kept our boy/girl options a secret for #1 and we will this time too - I'm sure it bugged some people, but it wasn't up for discussion. We did not want to hear stories others have attached to names.
My mom gives me ideas all of the time and I don't mind, I kind of like it (we haven't picked names yet), two of her options are on my list, but I didn't even acknowledge that to her.
GL - it's your baby, ignore everyone else
Ditto this! This is exactly what we are doing!
More Green For Less Green
We are doing the same, just tell everyone that you aren't sharing the names. I also tell them, if they continue to press, that choosing a name that we agree upon is hard enough for DH and I, and when sharing the possible names of your LO people let you know their opinions some of which might not be helpful to the process. So you'll know baby's name when baby is born! Until then you may call baby "Munchkin"
Btw: My MIL has also offered up her suggestions, I said, "I like those names (because I do)" and that's it. Other suggestions have simply gotten a "Thank you" and a smile.
We did share our name choices but I wanted some feedback from others. We did get both positive and negative from people but we're sticking with our picks. As of now we're down to two name choices and I'm sure there are feelings about which name we should pick but it's our choice.
As far as your FIL goes I'd remind him that he already had a chance to name a baby and now it's your turn.
This is what my husband and I have decided to do as well, but as of yet the family really doesn't know that we aren't going to tell them.They'll get to know the sex, nothing else. I'm am in agreement that even the sex isn't any kind of obligatory info to share, so that's where the info will end- and at least they are getting that.
I really like the 'we would like to meet him/her first before we settle on a name' suggestion and I will try that one first. We're not going to be telling people our ideas either. It's not a community naming session. If I did want their input and/or opinion, I know where to find them to get it.
Stories like this, much like the wedding horror stories that you hear, really bother me! These are all people that have had their own kids to name, their own pregnancy and birth experiences etc- why on earth do they think they get to be that involved in someone elses? People never cease to amaze me- especially when it's stuff like this that they should know is inappropriate, interfering behavior and basic civil respect! (Notice I did not say 'common sense'- I work in law enforcement and am made aware daily that such a thing has not actually existed since at least 8 decades ago.)
Stay strong and if the 'niceities' of explaining this doesn't work, use the harsher and more frank statements about it.
I'll see how my own planned advise goes in the handful of weeks!