Trying to Get Pregnant

Does it really take that long??

So DH and I have embraced the idea that we are going to leave all forms of birth control in the dust, and say hello to the possibility of a little ones. While I go back and forth (I get excited and then wonder if I'll ever be able to handle it,) I look at the long journey put in front of us.

And of course DH can't understand, and we have agreed to keep it between ourselves unless I get a BFP... and we hit the safe 10-12 week mark.

 But it kills me that it could take SO LONG to get a BFP!!!

 My question is... how long have you been trying to get pregnant... and how do you deal with the emotions of getting excited and nervous and sometimes the huge disappointment of realizing you didn't get pregnant that cycle?? 

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Re: Does it really take that long??

  • We've been trying since July. The Bump has been a great outlet for me and given me some great information.
  • I am about to start my 5th cycle ttc and yes it is disappointing when you get af each month. But it can take a healthy couple a year to get pregnant. So hope for the best but know that if it doesn't happen right away that does not mean there is anything wrong with you.
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  • We have been trying for 4 months now, and it's driving me insane!! I'm the most impatient person I know, so I am just sure that this is God's way of teaching me patience! The first few BFNs were really hard...I think everyone expects to get pregnant right away, or at least I did! I heard of  all my friends who got pregnant on the first or second month, and thought for sure we would be the same way. My husband has been a wonderful source of comfort for me. We are there for each other and keep things as fun as we can along the way!

     I wish you the BEST of luck in your journey, and I really hope you're one of the lucky few who get a BFP right away!!! :)

  • We started trying in August and had a BFP in September, so it can happen very very quickly.  That being said, it can also take much longer and still be considered normal.  Every woman is different.  There is no way of knowing or predicting how long your TTC journey will be.  Hopefully yours will be a short one.  Good luck  :)
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  • It really can take a year! My husband and I started trying January of 2010 and just got our BFP last week.  I was starting to think something was wrong and was really stressing over it.  But, it truly can take a healthy couple up to a year.  We are proof of that. 

    You just have to remember that and to talk it out with DH when you are feeling overwhelmed and disappointed.  Looking back over the past year, I wish I would have relaxed a little more and enjoyed spending the time with my DH instead of obsessing over whether or not this was going to be the month.  I was also always honest with DH about my disappointment and it was good to have someone to share that with.

    Good luck!!!

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  • Been over 4 years.  

    I drink.  A lot. 

    Fuuck TTC - I'm moving on.
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    "It's a child, not a cheeto" Thanks mmariluh!
    "Ew. I've read all of two posts from you, and you stink like rotting garbage."
  • I went off BCPs in April, officially started TTC in May. This is cycle 6. The first few cycles were huge roller coasters of excitement and disappointment. I get a little more pessimistic each cycle, I suppose. Generally, I deal with it with a glass or three of wine and a little retail therapy.

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  • It took us 8 months. 

    It can happen on your first cycle, or it could take 6 months, a year, or much longer.  There's no way of knowing when you first start trying.  GL!

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  • We've been trying since August.  So far dealing with the emotions of it has been generally ok.  I'm a realist, not an optimist, so even though of course I wished to get my BFP right away, I knew that the chances of that were slim.  I also know that DH and I aren't having nearly enough sex to make our chances better than just ok, so my hopes are never that high.

    Right now I'm just grateful that I seem to be ovulating, which makes me luckier than many on this board.  I'm just trying to keep it all in perspective.  In the grand scheme of things, TTC for 5 months isn't that great of a challenge in life.  I have a friend who's my age and fighting stage 4 cancer.  Now THAT sucks.  No pity parties for me just yet.

    Oscar born October 2011

    Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)

    DD due September 1, 2014

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  • It has been 10 months and we are on cycle #7 for us. I also have PCOS and have had a couple of long, anovulatory cycles. It has been 4.5 months/4 cycles since my cycles regulated and I started ovulating consistently so far.
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  • Going on two years, but due to travel schedules for both us, a good chunk of those months couldn't be counted.  I wish I could say it's easy and relaxing - at times it can be - but it's an emotional investment to decide to start trying.  For those that are blessed to get pregnant right away, it's obviously not as trying, but the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to go into it with an open mind and the expectation that it could take longer than you want it to.  Don't get disappointed after two or three months, you'll just set yourself up for a long haul.  Have faith and know that there are many on this board whose stays have been short and they have been blessed with quick TTC journeys, but there are also those of us who have been here for much longer and can help you along the way to cheer you on, but also give you some perspective and insight when it does get tough.

    Good luck to you!

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  • We've been trying for 15 cycles. So yes, for us it IS taking that long ... or longer.

    There isn't a pat answer on how to deal with the disappointment every cycle. Everyone processes emotions differently and learns how to deal at a different rate. I'm still learning, and honestly this is the hardest thing I've had to deal with. It is horrible to watch all your friends become parents and wonder if you will ever know what it is like to make your husband a father, so see a child you've created together, to experience pregnancy... the list goes on. And so does life. You make the best of your situation, hold onto hope, and enjoy life with your husband the best way you know how. And you realize that it's okay to be sad and disappointed, and there will be hard days.

  • image HoneyBee111409:

    We've been trying for 15 cycles. So yes, for us it IS taking that long ... or longer.

    There isn't a pat answer on how to deal with the disappointment every cycle. Everyone processes emotions differently and learns how to deal at a different rate. I'm still learning, and honestly this is the hardest thing I've had to deal with. It is horrible to watch all your friends become parents and wonder if you will ever know what it is like to make your husband a father, so see a child you've created together, to experience pregnancy... the list goes on. And so does life. You make the best of your situation, hold onto hope, and enjoy life with your husband the best way you know how. And you realize that it's okay to be sad and disappointed, and there will be hard days.

    ::big fat hug xoxoxo:: still hoping for our September babiesWink

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  • With our first I conceived the first month of trying but so far the TTC #2 I'm on the tail end of cycle 4 month 5.
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  • image MandyBrownNoser:

    I drink.  A lot. 

    This! We've been trying since June of 2009. You just learn to deal I guess

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    IUI#4 Bravelle + Femara + Trigger + IUI = BFP!!

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  • It's our ninth cycle trying, we started back in May. TTC is definitely a roller coaster ride of emotions, and some cycles are easier than others, but we press on!
  • image RoxanneA:
    With our first I conceived the first month of trying but so far the TTC #2 I'm on the tail end of cycle 4 month 5.

    This exactly. With our son, we I got pregnant the first month trying and the first test I took was positive. This we're starting cycle 4, but have to skip this month. ?

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  • We've been off birth control since December 23, 2009 and actively trying since march.some times your in it for the long haul, sometimes your not. Good luck either way.
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    Praying for Baby Rich since March 2010.

    Fallopian Blockage Cleared in Nov 2010 via HSG.

    DX: Retroverted Uterus, Bent Cervix + PCOS on 3/2011

    SA: Borderline. On the low side of normal...

    [count: 23 mil, morph: 42%, motility 60%] on 7/2010

    Ultrasounds show left ovary not responding to Clomid.

    4/2011: 50mg Clomid+TI=BFN!

    5/2011: 50mg Clomid+Ovidrel+TI=BFN!

    6/2011: 50mg Clomid+Ovidrel+TI=?BFFN!

    Hail Mary Cycle before taking time off for an emotional break, weight loss, to save money for IUI's, and vacations...

    7/2011: 100mg Clomid+Ovidrel+TI+2wwVacation=??


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  • It took 11 cycles to get pg with DS.  TTC #2 is taking as long, if not longer, as this is cycle 11, and based on my temps, I am pretty sure AF is arriving any time now.

    As far as dealing with the disappointment, as pp have said, some months it is easier than others.  It helps that DH is so supportive; he always tries to find something encouraging to say when I am at my lowest.  I am also a big fan of red wine.  GL! 

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  • We started TTC at the end of October, the same time I stopped taking BCP. My sister, mom and cousin have all said we are the "Fertile Myrtle" family and everyone gets pregnant as soon as they want to so imagine my disappointment that it's the end of December with no BFP. (They don't know we're TTC). However, I only have had one long 70 day cycle that just ended today with AF, so clearly my body has not adjusted yet to being off of oral contraception. This, my doctor said, can typically take 3 months or so. But sometimes bodies bounce right back after, so everyone is different. I'm hoping for an ovulatory cycle this time so I can at least have my 20% chance! I'd suggest getting to know your body, spend time with DH obviously, and try not to stress over the process and enjoy it! After your BFP you'll only have 9 months left with DH alone so savor the TTC journey! (Now I need to take my own advice.)
  • We are still on our first cycle but I have found the most frustrating part to be waiting for your cycles to regulate after BC.  I feel like waiting for AF is wasting time that I could be TTC Sad.

    I have a DD so I spend time with her to try and distract me from thinking about it so much.  Also, every month that we try I check out the due date and try to think of a good reason to have a baby that month/around that date. 

    Good luck to you!! I hope your stay here is short and sweet!!

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  • :points to siggy:

    FWIW, I got PG with DS the first month of trying.

    I am at the point where I am very disappointed when I get my period, but I am also learning to give it up to God and be at peace with His timing. It is a great lesson in patience, because you can do everything right but it doesn't guarantee a pregnancy, or a take-home baby.

    Are you going to chart?

    BFP: 6/4/10, M/C @ 5wks | BFP: 7/12/10, M/C @ 5wks | BFP: 1/5/11, M/C @ 4wks
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  • I'm 3 years and counting for a BFP... It gets tiring. Everyone deals with it different. My best advice is to make sure you don't always make it a chore. After a year u should probably go to a doctor to make sure nothing is wrong. But, most likely you'll be fine. GL
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    I am 27, DH is 34. We have been married since January 17,2009. FIANLLY pg with #1.TTC since May 2007 I have a unicornuate uterus, and YES that means I pee glitter ;)
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  • I'm on cycle #5.  OPK and temps say I ovulate, so that's great news.  Yet, every cycle I get AF, I get really depressed.  I don't have any advice for moving past it except to keep in mind that time heals.  After AF is gone, you just kind of forget about it and get excited about the next cycle.
    Married May 2008; TTC #1 Feb 2010, Dx MFI Jun 2011



    ***PAIFW/SAIFW***


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  • image PDXGal7868:

    :points to siggy:

    FWIW, I got PG with DS the first month of trying.

    I am at the point where I am very disappointed when I get my period, but I am also learning to give it up to God and be at peace with His timing. It is a great lesson in patience, because you can do everything right but it doesn't guarantee a pregnancy, or a take-home baby.

    Are you going to chart?

    This, the bolded.

    I'm on my Cycle 2. Just started this morning. For the past few days I could've sworn I was pregnant and was almost hoping I was one of those lucky women to get pregnant immediately after getting off BC. It didn't happen that way. Disappointed? Yes. But I also know it's God's will and He'll give me a baby when He knows it's my time.

    My only advice is to keep distracted (easier said than done, I know) about it. I know everyone says, 'relax!' but sometimes you need to do just that. When my DH and I were BD'ing in sole purpose to make a baby, it wasn't fun and quite mechanical. Once we started to BD just because, we had a blast. Hopefully that mood will continue into the next year.

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  • image DBride2006:

    image RoxanneA:
    With our first I conceived the first month of trying but so far the TTC #2 I'm on the tail end of cycle 4 month 5.

    This exactly. With our son, we I got pregnant the first month trying and the first test I took was positive. This we're starting cycle 4, but have to skip this month.  

    This. It's different for everyone. The more you know about timing of your ovulation each cycle, the better you can time the sex and the rest is upto nature...

    Good luck.

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  • We've been TTC since April 2009, so 20-months, but I have PCOS & do not ovulate on my own.  I have been pregnant twice (recently), but both times have ended in m/c.  The m/c have obviously been much more difficult than the BFNs each month, but you just sort of learn to deal with it.
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    Married 1/2/99.
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    Diagnosed PCOS. Diagnosed Hypothryoid 11/09.
    SHG & SA normal. PCOS Research study started 5/10.
    Clomid/Femara cycle #1 - 6/10 = BFN
    Clomid/Femara cycle #2 - 7/10 = BFP #1 - Missed miscarriage 9/2/10
    11/12 - BFP #2 - 11/22 - m/c
    5/1/11 - BFP #3 - Pre-eclampsia, IUGR & bed rest from 32w. DD born via induction 1/4/12.
  • It took 5 cycles and 6 months with our first- 4 of those cycles I was charting.  We just started cycle # 4 this time around and have been charting since cycle # 2.  

    Even though I know logically it can take a while and have been though this before, I still couldn't help but hope it wouldn't take that long this time around.  I have to admit that getting AF this last cycle was pretty frustrating because I was experiencing a lot of phantom symptoms. 

    For me, charting helps.  Stress delays my O very easily and when I don't know what is going on (not charting), my cycles can get pretty long.  For some reason knowing what is going on with my body helps keep my cycles regular. 

    TTC IS a good lesson is patience which is what you will need in spades when you are pregnant (especially if you have a baby that goes way past your EDD like mine did) and then when you are a parent.  The amount of patience that is required to simply get out of the house in the morning with a toddler without loosing your cool is staggering some days. 

    At least that is what I keep telling myself. ;)

    GL 


    Lilypie - (ZESJ)Lilypie - (QAi1)

  • We started in July. I was a basketcase the first few months. Cycle 4 (5 months because I have long cycles) is when I finally accepted that I had no control over the situation and relaxed more about it and we got our bfp. I miscarried two weeks later. Now I have to wait a full cycle to start again. As I am sure you can see, everyone is different. The only thing that is constant is that most of it is beyond your control, so the sooner you accept that, the easier this journey will be. You will have to come to this realization on your own. Obviously being educated (read tcoyf and chart) helps, but is not a sure thing to getting ku. Good luck!

    Started TTC #1: July 2010 DX: PCOS
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    Cycle 11 - 50mg Clomid + IUI converted to TI = BFN
    Cycle 12 - 50mg Clomid + IUI #1 = BFN
    Cycle 13 - Clomid Break + Charting + Dr. Recommendations = BFN
    Cycle 14 - Clomid Break + Charting + meeting with URO (all clear!) = BFP!!
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  • It could take long. And it could be short also. We tried for 3 1/2 years with my daughter. And ttc#2 for 4 cycles. . During such long period, I have learnt to avoid the hype of using herbs which could damage my system, trust in God more -by giving him all my cares with tears in my eyes, be patient while crying, done some retail therapy, fights with hubby and being healthy.

    All I can do is press on!

    Hopefully you get a bfp soon!

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