I am not comfortable having any family or friends at the hospital while I am in labour until after the baby is about 2 hours old. My family understands completely. My fiance's family however, doesn't. I had him tell his mother not to come until after the baby is born. My major issue is that I don't want to feel like people are "waiting" on me. I have such a high guilt factor that I know it will stress me out if I have people "waiting" for hours on me. Talk about pressure.
My fiance's son is almost 15 and he wanted to come as well. We told him that the hospital does not like visitors and they prefer that people come after the baby is born. (Which is true. They also don't see what the point of people hanging around is). They also said that visitors in the Labour & Delivery waiting room tend to "wander" and listen at the door. Which would stress me right out! Well, the son cried to his mother that he felt like he was being pushed out of the family and took it really personally. I felt terrible about it - but it's not him, it's everybody that I don't want there.
Well, THEN my fiance's mother said that it's very important that he is there, so they will BOTH wait in the DOWNSTAIRS waiting room, rather than in the Labour and Delivery waiting room. (What is the difference?? They're just an elevator ride away.)
My fiance thinks that we are a family unit - he can't understand why I am shutting his son out. I feel that birth is a very personal experience and if I don't want my own MOTHER there, how could I be comfortable with a 15 year old boy???? Fiance and I are currently not speaking to eachother over this.
I'm tempted to just tell them fine, come. Everybody seems to be making it about THEM. But then how does that look to MY family? They're going to wonder how come finace's family is allowed but not my own???
My midwife said he should definately not come - that any extra nervousness on my part can result in a closed up cervix and lenghthen my labour.