3rd Trimester

Family Vent (BR-a little)

This past year has been pretty tough!!  My FI took a fall back in April.  Due to the fall he had a lot of health problems.  He ended up in the hospital an hour away from home.  While he was there the Dr.'s discovered there were multiple things going on with his health.  He ended up having 5 surgeries over 3-4 month period and passed away early this fall.  Some of the problems he ended up having were due to negligence from the hospital and Dr.'s.  It was a horrible experience. I hope no one else I love has to go through anything like this. 

I have always had a very odd relationship with my MI and one of my Si's(??).  I got along great with my FI.  My MI has accused me of not treating them like they are family even though I am the one that encouraged DH to invite them for holidays or to go and visit (even when DH didn't want to because of the arguing).   My MI is not close with our children, she lives 2 miles away and yet we rarely see her.  She spent most of her free time at the casino (another topic for another time).  When asked her to babysit one night a week because my mom couldn't (but watched them the other 3) she told us not to count on her.  I realize she doesn't have to watch her grandchildren, just seemed odd to me and DH.  This is just a small amount of the behavior I have put up with over the years. 

Since my FI passed away, DH has made and effort to be there for his mom and to help out in ways that a son should.  I have been very understanding and even encouraging.  I don't know what it feels like to loose a spouse of 30+ years.  Tonight she called to talk with me about the surgery.  I thought it was really nice until she started talking about all the things that went wrong with FI at the hospital and with the Dr.'s.  I have been an emotional wreck all day as it is.  I am scared about having surgery... I am scared because we have a child with special needs.  Here I am listening to her tell me about all the things that could go wrong and how you never know what will happen.  WTF???  Along with this, MI and SI have told me repeatedly that this baby is going to be "The one saving grace for the year".  What??  Talk about putting pressure on someone (me and the baby).  Don't they get how scared I am about something going wrong???  We have one special needs child and if that isn't enough to scare me I don't know what is.

My family and friends just tell me ignore them because they are CRAZY!!!  It is getting harder to do that.  I want to give them the benefit of the doubt but it is getting more and more difficult to do that. OK, end rant.  Hoping that getting it out will help me feel better.  TIA

Re: Family Vent (BR-a little)

  • My FIL passed away in Feb, and now after 4 years of not preventing we get pregnant and are due in Feb.  I have heard so many times that this is God's gift to us for taking FIL.  I am so tired of it also especially since DH's family also has nothing to do with us or our DS.  I am not sure what to say to help because for me I just keep my mouth shut and have for 17 years.  It is getting hard to though and I am dreading spending Christmas with these people.  I hope it gets better for you.
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