Toddlers: 24 Months+

need advice: H watching DD

H was laid off almost 3 weeks ago.  Now he stays home during the day with DD. (She used to be with my parents while we worked.)  He is really a great father and makes a big effort to keep her busy during the day with physical activities, reading, games, etc. 

In these 3 weeks, she has gotten a black eye, a big bruise and a fat lip. She is a very active (and clumsy) kid so I expect a certain amount of bumps and bruises with her. However, these injuries are a bit more than the norm.  I do understand that he can't be there to catch every single fall and she is always running, climbing and jumping.

I have tried to talk to him about it and he is very casual about it. I don't want to crush his ego (being laid off did a pretty good job of that), but I really need him to tell him to watch her more carefully and be a little more proactive when she is running around. Any suggestions on how to get him to take this more seriously?

Re: need advice: H watching DD

  • My DH is very bull-headed so I would be tender, too.  I would gently suggest he see if there's any child-proofing that could be done to make her safer and add that if I had to take her to the pediatrician for a fever or something, that they are forced to question and report excessive injury, so let's find a way to help curb this. 
    If you really want to be happy, no one can stop you.

  • A friend of mine commented a while back about the different points of view that moms and dads have.  A dad will think 'what's the worst that could happen?'; a mom will think 'what could possibly happen?'.  I have found this to be true more often than not.

    I get calls most weeks from my daycare that one or both of my kids have fallen and hit something, been hit (accidentally) and have a bloody nose, ran into a friend, etc., etc., etc.

    I try not to stress about it.  Bumps, bruises, scrapes and the like are a part of being a kid.  Part of figuring out limits, part of understanding what 'dangerous' and 'be careful' mean.

    In reality, what can you say?  I think only that it's hard for you to see your DD getting hurt, so for your sake, could he try and watch her more closely.

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
  • Did you ask him what happened that caused the injuries?

    I am the primary caregiver full time for my DS and I have to say it annoys the daylights out of me when DH gets home and questions how DS got bruise A or scrape B. I know he is not criticizing, but it still makes me feel guilty somehow.

  • I am going to have to agree with ppl saying that its a part of being a kid. I know even when I stay home with her she is climbing or jumping. One day she was sitting at the table eating and she sneezed and her mouth hit the table causing a fat lip somethings are just not preventable.

  • I agree that it's just gonna happen.  Even when I'm watching DD very closely, she still gets hurt.  Just over the past couple months, she tripped over her own feet, hit the wall face first, and fell backwards in one incident.  Last week, she fell face first into the arm of our couch, and last night, she was walking to get a toy and walked right into the table instead of bending down to get the toy.  All resulted in bruises, cuts, and even a black eye.  None of them could have been prevented.  DD is just a clutz!  It's all part of being a toddler and them exploring.
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  • I think you just need to let it go. My DD has so many bumps, bruises, etc and as long as there's no stitches or hospital visits involved, oh well. She's an active and clutzy kid and I know these things happen and happen a lot. 

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