3rd Trimester

"I XP'd on January because the 3rd Tri women are meanies"

Apparently we weren't very nice when she posted over here so she has sought other people to tell her what she wants to hear.   What's wrong with you people??  Sigh... don't any of you know how to be supportive?

 

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/46617405.aspx

So, just for the hell of it, I'm posting her post here.  

Here is the meanie thread in question:

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/46617456.aspx

Honestly, I think these women post this crap so they can show their husband later "See???  All these people agree with me!"




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Re: "I XP'd on January because the 3rd Tri women are meanies"

  • Honestly, if DH were to get me something sentimental (like a birthstone ring or whatever) I would be very touched, but I would NEVER ask for something or expect it! I did like WannaBeCrunchyMama's idea about new mom coupons:).
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  • I never new it had an actual name before! I would never expect him to get me anything, all I expect is that he is there right next to me going through it with me....and then appreciating me for it FOREVER! lol But I don't think I deserve a prize.

    However, I wouldn't say no if he did buy me something...but I would much rather something for the baby, or him just telling me how much he appreciates me is fine.

    IMO to be giving your DH ideas about what you want as a gift for having a baby is a bit tacky....if he gets you something it should be something meaningful because he wants to and loves you and not off a list of approved items....

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  • I told my DH a long time ago that when we had kids I would want a ring with our birthstones mixed with our baby's birthstone. I told him this way before we even started TTC. If he remembers then great, but I certainly don't expect anything. I would rather take the money going to that ring and spend it on items for our new baby.

    If somebody's husband was an a$$hole the entire pregnancy I can see how they might feel entitled to some sort of gift. Perhaps the gift of divorce Smile My DH has given me a gift of a clean house every day, back rubs, and a lot of listening and understanding. I expect nothing from him but to enjoy being a dad on the day of delivery.

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  • Awww, 3rd tri is soooo meeeeeeaaaannn!

    I think the term "push" present is what bothers me the most.  The concept of getting a piece of jewelery or something once the baby's born doesn't bother me.  It's when women say "DH is SUPPOSED to/HAS to buy this for me!!!".... that just sounds so bratty.  I think it's the same women who justify 2nd, 3rd and 4th baby showers by saying "every baby deserves to be CELEBRATED!!".

    Since when do happy times automatically = give me presents!!  Hmm

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    BFP #1 ~ 1/26/2010 ~ MMC @ 6w6d discovered @ 11w3d ~ D&C 3/16/10
    BFP #2 ~ 4/22/2010 ~ EDD 12/29/2010 ~ Born 12/19/2010 ~ My Rainbow Baby
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  • Hah! What's funny - I had never even heard of a push present until about a week ago, and when I jokingly demanded something sparkly for giving H offspring he said my gift was 18 years of child support.

    Back story: H has a very successful, multiple generation family business he'll be inheriting within the next few years, so despite both of us being uncomfortable doing so, we drew up and signed a prenuptual agreement. It's pretty much an every day, inside joke that we're getting divorced eventually so the only way I'd get anything is 18 years of child support. Read: It's a joke. H & I are both very happy in our relationship.

    I read the original thread in question - It isn't that bad to go whining on another board! For the love of all that's holy, we can show her mean! That wasn't mean. At all. She asked for opinions, and she got them.

  • I had no idea what this term meant, i think its silly.  if DH gets me something that's fine but if not i don't really care.
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  • Seriously, "Push Presents?" Kind of absurd if you ask me. If I'm not mistaken most of us were wanting to have these babies. And now you want a gift for it? I say get a grip on reality.Confused
  • This is new to me. I have never heard of push present. I think it's a little ridiculous. I was the one that initiated this whole "let's have a baby thing". I don't think DH should "reward" me for labor. I was fully aware that pregnancy ends in pushing and a baby is all I ask for in the end. Weird. 
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  • image buffyanne02:

    Hah! What's funny - I had never even heard of a push present until about a week ago, and when I jokingly demanded something sparkly for giving H offspring he said my gift was 18 years of child support.

    Back story: H has a very successful, multiple generation family business he'll be inheriting within the next few years, so despite both of us being uncomfortable doing so, we drew up and signed a prenuptual agreement. It's pretty much an every day, inside joke that we're getting divorced eventually so the only way I'd get anything is 18 years of child support. Read: It's a joke. H & I are both very happy in our relationship.

    I read the original thread in question - It isn't that bad to go whining on another board! For the love of all that's holy, we can show her mean! That wasn't mean. At all. She asked for opinions, and she got them.

    I'll trade DH's with you. They won't even notice the difference, I promise. I'm glad you signed a pre-nup. I would have hated you even more if you had both beauty and wealth. 

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  • image AshfieldMay:
    Honestly, if DH were to get me something sentimental (like a birthstone ring or whatever) I would be very touched, but I would NEVER ask for something or expect it! I did like WannaBeCrunchyMama's idea about new mom coupons:).

    Hey thanks! 

  • I really don't understand why a woman would ask for a push present. IMO my babies will be present enough. In the interest of full disclosure I did mention that I would like an eternity ring with their birthstone to match my wedding band but I also made it clear that it would make a great mother's day or birthday present. Quite frankly some of the gift-grabby women need to slow down and appreciate what they have.
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  • She didn't actually call anyone mean (or meanine, whatever that means), she just laughed it off, and because she wasn't getting any actual answers to her question she went and asked it somewhere else.  Why make it into more than it really is?  You're the only one that looks stupid for doing so.

  • If DH has to get me a gift for shoving a baby out my vag, then I should probably give him a gift for knocking me up on the first try. Now that was a job well done! ;) Honestly though, DH got me a birthstone necklace for Christmas when I was pregnant with DS, so he will have another stone added but that was his intention from the beginning and I would never expect it. The only jewelry I required of him goes on my left ring finger!
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  • Quite frankly, I think it's ridiculous the amount of crap dished out on this topic.  Push presents are quite common in certain regions and among certain groups of people.  All of my friends got them....some told their DH's something specific they would like and some didn't.  I don't think it makes them tacky or gift-grabby.  I'm getting one and gave my DH a hint as to something I would like.  Honestly, it comes across as if those who call it "stupid", "selfish", etc. are just a little jealous.  Just my opinion.  Flame away if you must!
  • Um... She posted the threads 2 minutes apart.  It doesn't appear she XPed because 3rd tri is "mean".  Sounds like your are stretching for some drama Emjay.

    As for push presents..  To each their own.  I'm not going to get on my high horse and imply that others are uncivilized if they give "assigned gifts".  I also won't sit around posting new jewelry for bumpies to critique.  If you and your husband want to do a push present, can afford it, and it makes everyone happy - yay.

  • image kromero01:
    Quite frankly, I think it's ridiculous the amount of crap dished out on this topic.  Push presents are quite common in certain regions and among certain groups of people. 

    This.  It's not uncommon in our circle of friends, but these are dual income couples where both have very good jobs and are likely to only have 1 baby,  2 max.

    I, OTOH, will be a SAHM, and we are planning to have 3 - 4 children. For which we may need fertility meds.  So I told DH that while a ring or necklace with their birthstones would be nice one day, I'd prefer our extra cash go to DS's college fund and/or paying down our mortgage for now.

    But to each his/her own.

    Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!
  • image somegirl425:

    She didn't actually call anyone mean (or meanine, whatever that means), she just laughed it off, and because she wasn't getting any actual answers to her question she went and asked it somewhere else.  Why make it into more than it really is?  You're the only one that looks stupid for doing so.

    This means I woke up sick as a dog this morning and couldn't muster the energy to spell my subject line correctly.  

    It's been fixed.  

    She did get answers to her question.  It just wasn't what she wanted to hear.  




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  • image EmjayTheHunted:
    image somegirl425:

    She didn't actually call anyone mean (or meanine, whatever that means), she just laughed it off, and because she wasn't getting any actual answers to her question she went and asked it somewhere else.  Why make it into more than it really is?  You're the only one that looks stupid for doing so.

    This means I woke up sick as a dog this morning and couldn't muster the energy to spell my subject line correctly.  

    It's been fixed.  

    She did get answers to her question.  It just wasn't what she wanted to hear.  

    Not really because she asked what people were getting, not what do you think of push presents. 

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  • I get the concept of a push present way more than I get the concept of getting DH a gift for when the baby is born.  That one makes no sense to me.  Aren't I the one doing all the work??  40 weeks of pregnancy seems a lot harder than holding my hand during labor. 

    If your guy wants to get you a gift then good for you... If you want to get your guy a gift then good for him. 

  • image sweetheart18:

    Um... She posted the threads 2 minutes apart.  It doesn't appear she XPed because 3rd tri is "mean".  Sounds like your are stretching for some drama Emjay.

     

    gee thats a surprise right there!


    G 1.6.2011
    H 7.31.2012
    Soon to be outnumbered!  #3 due 11/4/2014 

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  • image elizjane26:
    image EmjayTheHunted:
    image somegirl425:

    She didn't actually call anyone mean (or meanine, whatever that means), she just laughed it off, and because she wasn't getting any actual answers to her question she went and asked it somewhere else.  Why make it into more than it really is?  You're the only one that looks stupid for doing so.

    This means I woke up sick as a dog this morning and couldn't muster the energy to spell my subject line correctly.  

    It's been fixed.  

    She did get answers to her question.  It just wasn't what she wanted to hear.  

    Not really because she asked what people were getting, not what do you think of push presents. 

    EXACTLY!!!  She asked what others were getting so she could give suggestions to her DH because he wanted some ideas.  She got a few actual answers and everyone else pretty much got on their high horses and said what they thought of her.  I agree that most just sounded jealous because you know damn well if your husband thought to give you a gift then you would be over joyed.  Its the fact that it will pretty much never happen for the nay sayers that seem to make them hate the idea.

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