Baby Showers

Planning Chaos, help

My MIL's bestfriend which I don't really have a close relationship with, though she's a nice lady, she was the first one to offer to throw me a baby shower, extremely early in my pregnancy, before I even told my friends, she found out through my excited MIL. I found it awkward, but hard to say no to such a nice gesture, but I didn't feel comfortable so I express my concerns about someone that doesn't really know my taste well throwing the shower for me to couple of my close friends. After I mentioned that, they offered to do it instead of my MIL's friend but I have a lot of guests and because of that the shower only can be done at a restaurant,  which is pricey, I'm feeling like I imposed to them by expressing my no satisfaction about the topic.

Also the first of my friends that offered, and was organizing most of the things, suddenly told me she wasn't planning to pay for it just organize, because she can't afford the type of party I want, leaving my other friends with all the work. I offered them my financial help because I want a nice shower, it is my first baby, and I always plan really nice, well organized parties, so it is difficult not to try to give my input when I see them kind of lost, but I don't believe in organizing your own shower. All this disorganization around my shower is making me a little bit sad, am I over thinking this? How should I handle it?

Re: Planning Chaos, help

  • This is just my opinion.....  You should let the people who want to throw you a shower, throw you the shower they can afford.  A nice shower doesn't have to be at a restraunt.  It should be at a place where everyone who cares about you and wants to celebrate with you can be there on this special day.  Don't ruin it for yourself by getting into the planning and stressing people out with your expectations. 

    My shower was at my cousin's house...she removed all her furniture from the family room and set up tables and chairs.  Its was decorated nicely and it was a blast!  I couldn't have asked for anything more!  Everyone we cared about was there and we are absolutely spoiled with gifts for our son! 

    Asher Benjamin and Lola Aisling

    PCOS, Progesterone Deficiency Disorder, Multiple Miscarriage
    Clomid, Metformin, Ovadril, PIO, P17 Iron/Platlet Tranfusion

    My Spring Babies! 
    <3 Angel Baby   Elisabeth Adelle  April 2008 <3
    Asher Benjamin  April 2010
    Lola Aisling  May 2014
  • Ditto AB.  Also, you have to remember that a shower is an event thrown FOR you as a gift.  Yes, it's nice if they keep your preferences in mind, but in the end, this is THEIR event to throw, not yours.

    And the hosts actually dictate how many people you can invite. You can make the shower "family only" or "Friends only" or "friends and my side", etc.  It's not a given that you get to invite EVERYONE you want if your host can't afford it. 

    Also, a shower is intended to help new parents get set up w/ all the stuff they need.  I find it to be a bit missing the point if you're going to pay for your expensive shower yourself.  Why not skip the shower and use that money to buy stuff you need for the baby? 

    My take- you need to sit back and let the hosts plan the party THEY can afford.  Including how many people you invite.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • Thanks everyone for your comments, and I just did that, I'll sit back and enjoy whatever the do. My friend with the best taste of the ones planning, noticed I was stress and she asked me not to worry, and that she'll do the best she can with the amount of guests I want. It has to be in a restaurant because none of my friends has a space big enough for the 40 guests in the shower, we live in NYC.
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