3rd Trimester

The Pregnancy Effect

Why is it that being around pregnant women gives people the license to say mean things? AND why is it that you have to just politely take it? (Not that I really want to retaliate.) I'm a 135lb, 30 week pregnant mom and somehow no one seems to understand why it still hurts my feelings to get comments like "Awww! You're getting fat!" or "Hey kid, looks like you need to go on a diet." (I was 120 before baby.) I know I'm smallish but very healthy, I know its part of the whole pregnancy thing... But OW!

Friends/Family say "Oh, Just respond with humor, you know they were only being funny.".  HA. Ha. ha. :(

Re: The Pregnancy Effect

  • Wow...I was 118 lbs. pre-pregnancy and now am 144 lbs at 30 weeks...and everyone tells me I'm all belly.  According to them, I'm a whale.

    I don't know why people are insensitive...but it's a reflection on them...not you!

    Hang in there and do your best to ignore...I know it's hard!

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  • Yeah for some reason people think you no longer have feelings when you're pregnant or that you no longer get offended...quite the contrary. I'm much more sensitive now than before. I started out at 113 pounds and am now around 150 (I am 37 weeks and 2 days). I have gained much more than I was "supposed to" (doctors aren't worried though) and it's all in my belly, but people still make stupid comments. Funny thing though...I'm STILL smaller than most of them so who cares right?!

     Just keep your head up and realize this is a temporary state - ya gotta get at least a little big to grow a healthy baby! :) And trust me - by the time you hit 37 weeks - your comments back to them are just as mean and it is oh so satisfying. lol

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  • I have to say, I feel the opposite. 

    People have the license because it is NOT a bad thing to be "fat" when you are pregnant, I don't get why so many women get so offended.  it's like saying "Oh you"re hair is so much shorter" after you went for a haircut.  It is not a mean comment, unless you are really self conscious about your hair, which makes it your problem, not theirs.   

    I don't mean to be mean, because I see this on here all the time.  But I really feel like the issue ( this applies to a lot more than just weight gain comments) is not what people are saying, but is how you are taking it.

  • My students like to tell me how big I'm getting, so the conversation goes as follows:

    student: "wow ms. b, you're getting fat"

    me: "that's alright, the fat will go away after the baby comes... you can't fix ugly"

    student: confused look, chuckle to ward off the pain

    me: laughing as if I'm kidding but half the time I'm totally serious

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  • image trinadesrosiers:

    I have to say, I feel the opposite. 

    People have the license because it is NOT a bad thing to be "fat" when you are pregnant, I don't get why so many women get so offended.  it's like saying "Oh you"re hair is so much shorter" after you went for a haircut.  It is not a mean comment, unless you are really self conscious about your hair, which makes it your problem, not theirs.   

    I don't mean to be mean, because I see this on here all the time.  But I really feel like the issue ( this applies to a lot more than just weight gain comments) is not what people are saying, but is how you are taking it.

    ITA. I'm usually the one making the fat jokes. Because I know I'm not fat. It sounds like you're insecure about your weight gain, but you have to just kind of let it go. People aren't trying to be mean. And if it bothers you so much, then tell them that it's a sensitive topic for you.

    Now, my husband's cankles comment, THAT needed to be punished!

  • Thanks for the support gals, I really appreciate your advice.  I know its "all in how you take it" and you should have a good sense of humor... I just think you're allowed to have some feelings too! 

    Re: What people say... Observing "You're getting big/Look at that belly" - fair enough, it IS like a hair cut observation, no sense getting emotional. Plus usually they are excited and happy, which is sweet. However, saying "You're getting fat/You should go on a diet" certainly isn't very nice/kind, innocent or no, and leaves little room to respond in a positive way. I'm fine with the belly comments, but try as I might, I'll probably never take the latter kinds of comments well/with humor. (I suppose this might have to do with years of Father calling Mother "fat cow" when she wasn't fat at all.) A lame response to the fat/weight comment with "Yup. There he is, oh, was just in the middle of... {exit}" will have to suffice.

    Mentally I'll look forward to a healthy strong baby to have fun with later... And ask them to knock it off when/if they repeat it. Thanks again ladies and happy holidays!

  • LOL! I'm just not that quick with come backs and I usually regret them later but that is quite funny!
  • image trinadesrosiers:

    I have to say, I feel the opposite. 

    People have the license because it is NOT a bad thing to be "fat" when you are pregnant, I don't get why so many women get so offended.  it's like saying "Oh you"re hair is so much shorter" after you went for a haircut.  It is not a mean comment, unless you are really self conscious about your hair, which makes it your problem, not theirs.   

    I don't mean to be mean, because I see this on here all the time.  But I really feel like the issue ( this applies to a lot more than just weight gain comments) is not what people are saying, but is how you are taking it.

    I guess this is true if people made the same comment about your hair every time they saw you for 6 months. The first time, nbd, but after the 10th time I would start to wonder why they kept bringing it up. Seriously, stop obsessing about my hair. That's creepy.

     

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