2nd Trimester

Help! I can't stop smoking. I'm horrible

I'll be 23 weeks tomorrow & I can't stop smoking. I feel so guilty but why do I keep smoking? 

When I was pregnant with my son I smoked till I delivered & he was fine. With my daughter, I quit at 12 weeks & had no cravings for it and I'm so stupid I started smoking again.

I love this baby & don't want any complications, but why am I so stupid and I can't stop?!

I'm constantly around smokers & my husband smokes and he gets so mad at me when I smoke so I started hiding my cigs. What's wrong with me? I feel like such a bad mom. Please help! 

 

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Re: Help! I can't stop smoking. I'm horrible

  •  I won't be the one to give you a hard time, cause that doesn't make it any better.

    One of the things that helped me quit was I would limit myself to X number of smokes a day then every few days I would cut back another cig out. Also, you have to figure out why you smoke, are you bored, hungry, stressed, or whatever. And find a better way to deal with it.

    Good luck I know how hard it is.

  • Indifferent

    Time to talk to your doctor about getting some smoking cessation products.  For the sake of your unborn child, please stop TODAY.

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  • are you kidding me?  i hope you're not looking for sympathy here... i don't think you'll find any.  i know it's hard... but YOU are the ONLY one who can do anything about this.  "can't" is bullsh!t.  suck it up and do it.
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  • image *LisaFrank*:

    Indifferent

    Time to talk to your doctor about getting some smoking cessation products.  For the sake of your unborn child, please stop TODAY.

    Agreed.  As a former smoker, I have little sympathy here.  You are being selfish to your child inside and the ones you have already.  They don't need to be around your smoking either. 

    1st pregnancy: m/c began 1/12/09 d&c 1/13/09 8wks. Baby stopped growing at about 6wks.

    Delaney: Born 10/15/09

    Gavin: Born 4/8/11

    Baby #3: due July 10, 2014

     

  • just stop.  yes it will be hard, but you're taking chances with your child's health. every time you inhale, so does the baby.  i agree with the poster who suggested you speak to your doctor about cessation products that may help you.

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  • I won't be rude, but I have to say, my initial reaction was.  I agree with pp- get help, do whatever you need to do, just STOP.  It is an addiction, and is obviously not easy, but it should be important enough for you to do everything in your power to commit to quitting.  You have done it before so you know it can be done.  I wish you the best of luck!!
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    "You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back."


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  • I've never been a smoker so I don't know what it feels like to try to quit. But I see it as lighting up with your kids in the car. Or smoking in the house. Your kids can't do anything about it. Only you can, I have to say shame on you.
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  • You have to stop. Period. And if your husband is that concerned, he should stop as well to make it easier for you at home.

    The fact that you smoked through your first pregnancy, and into your second, and are doing it again now...I don't know what to say. By posting this, you clearly know better, and know how unhealthy it is for a pregnancy. That you have now done it three times is pretty unreal to me, I have to be honest.

    Stop. No one said pregnancy is easy, or that the sacrifices you make it for don't come at the cost of personal comfort. I get that it's an addiction, and a tough one, but FFS. Get over it.

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    Boy the First 12.10.2010  I  Boy the Second 4.11.2012  I  Boy the Third 8.6.2014

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  • Thanks ladies. That was a big reality check. I wasn't looking for sympathy but a rude awakening, I guess? When I was pregnancy with my daughter, I had a stranger cry because I was smoking and I quit that moment. You ladies pretty much did that for me just now. 

    I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    Starting now I will not smoke. 

    Thanks Ladies.  

  • Yea, it's going to be hard, but isn't it worth it? Every single time you take a puff, you should be thinking "this is hurting my baby". Would you do something to your baby when it's on the outside that will repeatedly hurt him/her? This is no different.

    Also, your husband sounds like an asss, too. He shouldn't be smoking either. You have 2 children and another on the way. Does he think his smoking doesn't impact them? You both need to quit. Like, yesterday.

  • I'm sure you didn't post this to get lectured.

    My husband and I were both smokers and had agreed we would quit when I got pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant, I bought one of those e-cigarettes. The way they work, you can buy refills with different levels of nicotine. I bought the one with ZERO nicotine so basically I was just inhaling vapor (completely harmless to you AND baby). I was more addicted to the habit than to the actual nicotine. Even by getting a refill that has nicotine (and you can buy one with small traces of nicotine) it is still safer because there is no tar. I would really suggest investing in this! Try getting one with no nicotine if you can and see how that works for you!

    As for your husband, he has got to get on board with you. I admit it was very hard for me at first bc my husband was having a rough time (he's still smoking but really is trying). I'm going to be getting him to a doctor soon for a prescription.

    I wish you the best of luck!

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  • it took me 11 days to quit smoking from the day I found out I was pregnant. I just cut 2 smokes out a day every day.. I stopped drinking coffee ( because they go so well together!) I stayed inside when people I was with went out to smoke... it was hard, and I was moody, but I haven't smoked since May and I don't plan on ever smoking again!
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  • Ummm this has to be MUD. It's too friggin stupid not to be.
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  • image gkyoon:

    Thx for your reply. I guess I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    I will take your advice and limit myself to X numbers of cigs & cut down everyday. I know there isn't a good number to start with since smoking is bad period. How do you go from 1 pack a day though

    Thank you. 

    Wait, you're smoking a pack a day while pregnant?? Come on.

    Because you're bored and you don't want to gain weight?

    Get real. This is your child's life. Who has no control over your selfish actions.

    Eat healthy. Get a hobby. And quit.

    Oh, and I hope this is MUD.

  • Hide your smokes in the trash can! Then don't buy anymore!

    Tell DH that he will not smoke around you anymore!!! That is very selfish of him! He can go for a 'drive' if he wants one!

    it will not be easy, but you can not smoke anymore!!

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  • image gkyoon:

    Thx for your reply. I guess I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    I will take your advice and limit myself to X numbers of cigs & cut down everyday. I know there isn't a good number to start with since smoking is bad period. How do you go from 1 pack a day though? 

    Thank you. 

     

    I have no idea.  But just stop.  Patches, gum, whatever you need to do!  I'm not sure if Chantix is safe during pregnancy, but call your doctor ASAp?  Does your doctor know????

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  • image sleepingbeauty825:
    Ummm this has to be MUD. It's too friggin stupid not to be.

    Yes, the "I smoke a pack a day because I am bored and want to keep my weight down" has def. pushed this into muddy waters.

  • On one hand I have have sympathy on the other hand I can't say that I do.  I was a smoker for 12 years, and one day gave it up and that was almost 2 years ago.  I quit smoking because I was getting married and knew I wanted children and that was the right thing to do.  I don't even agree with people smoking around me.  You are responsible for the baby you have made and you are not taking responsibility like you should.

    Although it was very very easy for me to quit I know it isn't always easy, you need to seek some help instead of saying "what's wrong with me", "I have a weight problem", "I get bored", all those are, are excuses.   You should be saying I should stop because "My child can have birth defects", "My child can have low birth rate", "My chidren I already have are getting 2nd and 3rd hand smoke".  I think these things sound more important.

    To go from 1 pack a day, drop to 10 cigarettes a day if you must work your way off of them, do it like that.  Don't buy them by the carton either, buy them by the pack because if you do it by the carton they are right there for you.  I don't agree with working your way off of them, considering you have went so long during this pregnancy smoking.  Also, just because your 1st didn't come out with any problems doesn't mean this child will not.

    That's my two sense, and PP's said get help don't just know it's a problem do something to fix it and if you can't fix it yourself see someone.  Also, stop being dishonest with your husband he needs to make you feel guilty and he should feel guilty himself, again 2nd and 3rd hand smoke is bad.

    GL!

    **February 20th, 2010 I Married My Best Friend and June 5th, 2011 My Soulmate Was Born** image Lilypie First Birthday tickers imageimageimage
  • image gkyoon:

    Thx for your reply. I guess I smoke cuz I'm bored first of all. I'm alone all day. When my husband is home, I don't have much cravings. I also smoke because I'm hungry. I have a big weight issue. I was almost 200 lbs with my last pregnancy & I do not want to gain it after going down to 124 lbs. 

    I will take your advice and limit myself to X numbers of cigs & cut down everyday. I know there isn't a good number to start with since smoking is bad period. How do you go from 1 pack a day though? 

    Thank you. 

    I have little symapthy for someone who smokes because they are bored or for weight control and is PREGNANT. Your child(ren) have no choice but to exposed to harmful chemicals when you're smoking around them and while pregnant. And FFS, your husband needs to join you in the quitting since second-hand smoke certainly isn't any better for children to be exposed to.

    Time to become a smoke-free household and start being more careful about the situations you place yourself in (i.e. if you're around people smoking....leave.) It's not just you to worry about anymore and sorry, but it's incredibly selfish to keep this habit up.

    I say this as a former smoker myself. Millions have quit. You can, too.

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  • while I don't smoke and I never have. I am going to just say do whatever you have to get yourself to stop for the sake of your unborn child. Like you said you don't you want any complications. Do whatever you need to, to stop. I don't what would help you because I don't. I have a co-worker who just found out she is expecting and she is still going out and smoking a bunch of times a day. It upsets me because I am thinking of her child. I know it is an addiction and it can be tough but you have done it before and you can do it again.
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  • You've been flamed enough so I'm not going to tell you more of the "you suck" messages, but I did have one friend who was so addicted to cigarettes that her OB actually recommended that weaning herself off of it during pregnancy would be MORE detrimental to her baby than to keep smoking.

    BUT, she did quit because she got tired of all the looks she got when she was pregnant.  And please discuss this with your doctor, since I don't have a medical degree and I'm not endorsing smoking.  I actually think smoking is disgusting.

    Stephanie Hsu
  • image gkyoon:
    What's MUD?

     

    Made Up Drama

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  • I understand your need to smoke, the precieved relief from stressful moments as I too was a smoker, but think about it this way. We smoke to remove anxiety or stress but think about the level of stress you will have when the doc tells you your baby has lung and heart problems because you didn't quit smoking. Once you have the child, then smoke outside, but dont subject them to the smoke when they are at such a crticial part of development. I was 6wks pregnant when I found out, when I left the doctors office, I threw away my smokes, had mar car cleaned so it wouldn't smell like smoke and made my husband stop as well. Maybe you need more support then you have. make it something you two can do together and be happy about it. Your protecting your child when you do.

  • I know it must be extremely difficult.  My fiance is trying to quit right now, and he struggles every day with it.  I have a few suggestions.  First of, see if your husband will quit with you.  A lot of times when someone is in it with you, it is easier.  Also, do not let others smoke around you.  You are trying to quit for your health and your baby's health, so I do not feel this is too much to ask.

    Second, now that you know why you smoke (boredom) try to do something to fill that time - chew gum, do yoga, clean, knit, or play a video game.  Do something to keep your mouth/hands busy so that you don't smoke.

    Third, maybe try this approach: even if you are only going to allow yourself X number of cigarettes per day, don't smoke until you "absolutely need one," like if you start to feel your heart race, get jitters, or feel other physical symptoms of nicotine withdrawl.  You might be surprised how few you would need if you wait for physical symptoms. 

    I know a lot of doctors tell a mother that if it is more stressful to quit than keep smoking that they should just keep smoking, but if you can try to reduce how much and take active steps to quitting, you might be surprised that you can stop.

    Good luck.  I know it must be hard, but it is sooo worth it.  

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  • image gkyoon:
    What's MUD?

    Meaning it's crap, that you can't be serious, you can't be telling the truth, "Made Up Drama".

    Because no one can possibly be pregnant and be smoking a pack a day around two children already, being pregnant, and because they are bored and have weight problems.

    Edited for spelling.

    **February 20th, 2010 I Married My Best Friend and June 5th, 2011 My Soulmate Was Born** image Lilypie First Birthday tickers imageimageimage
  • image cruelsound:
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    Off subject but I LOVE your dogs!

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    Married 12/8/07 | Sleeve Gastrectomy 10/19/09
    BFP#1 DD born 3/9/11 | BFP#4 DD born 9/20/13
    BFP#2 6/21/12, M/C at 5w2d | BFP#3 11/27/12, M/C at 6w6d
  • I've dealt with addiction my entire life in the form of weight and smoking...and I truly understand the self-hatred that can accompany the addiction overpowering one's will to stop.  However, with all the research of just how harmful smoking can be to your child(ren) you have reached a point where you have no longer have a choice.

    I would recommend making an insanely long list of what you can do besides smoking, enroll in various activity groups and support groups, and just do everything possible to keep yourself busy and mentally occupied.  You will still jones for cigs...and your alternate activities will sometimes seem absolutely unsatisfying...but that is when it is so important to distract yourself!!

    Good luck!!  Also, since your husband seems to understand how important it is for you to stop smoking...maybe you should make him aware of just how important it is for him to also stop! 

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