Pregnant after a Loss

Too scared to enjoy it this time around

DH and I just found out we're pregnant after miscarrying back in September.  At first I was thrilled and so relieved.  But now, with every little cramp (which my doctor assured me is just the embryo implanting itself) gives me since of doom. I'm fighting getting attached in fear of another loss even though my doctor told me there is no reason to except anything to go wrong.

With my first pregnancy, everything seemed fine.  My stomach was growing and, I thought, my first trimester symptoms were finally gone.  Then after "12 weeks" of being pregnant I found out our little one had died shortly after week 8. 

How do I get past the sense of doom and fear to be able to enjoy being pregnant?  I want to be happy and excited but at the same time I don't was to get hurt again. 

Re: Too scared to enjoy it this time around

  • It's completely normal to feel scared and nervous!  You'll eventually get to a point where you'll be able to breathe a little easier.  Can you ask your dr for betas and/or an early u/s for extra reassurance?
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    ~An angel wrote in the book of life, my baby's date of birth. Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth."~


    After a 2nd tri m/c due to IC, infertility, a 1st tri natural m/c, 3 IUI's, and 2 surgeries, our miracle is finally here!




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  • HI there....We also suffered a m/c is September and we were just devastated. We were so ready to make our family complete but it just wasn't meant to be. 

    This time around I feel the same way as you do, when I was having the Stretch cramping I was just terrified to go to the restroom...but so far so good and we have already passed our milestone.

    So my advice to you (and this has really helped us), Everyday I rub my tummy and tell the LO that I love him/her. And I say Today I am pregnant and I love my baby.

     

    HTH

    And Congrats and Best of luck to you!! H&H 9months to you!

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  • I feel the same way as you... I think it will take time until you will fully accept and enjoy/get excited about this pregnancy. I was worried to the point of not being able to sleep because I was afraid of losing another. I think that over time things will get better!! It is your copying mechanism... I still haven't fully accept this pregnancy and I think maybe I sound horrible in saying that, but I just want to prepare myself 'just in case'. All you can do is be positive as possible and think good thoughts. I will be praying for your little baby!! <3
    Nickie
    Proud Cloth Diapering, Babywearing Mommy to Desmond (5.30.2011) and Evangeline (2.26.2014)
    Loving wife, best friend and teammate to Babywearing Daddy, Kelly (7.27.2000)


    Volunteer Babywearing Educator at Babywearing International of South Central Pennsylvania 
     
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  • I understand how you feel. My loss was over 6 years ago and I am having trouble believing that this one will last, so I can't imagine how scared you must be with the memory of your loss being so fresh in your mind. All I can say is try to enjoy this pregancy as much as you can, and you will eventually be able to relax.
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  • image duhdaisy86:

    So my advice to you (and this has really helped us), Everyday I rub my tummy and tell the LO that I love him/her. And I say Today I am pregnant and I love my baby

     

    I feel the same way you do, OP, but I also do something similar to what dudaisy does and I do think it helps!

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  • Your story is very similar to mine. I was actually saying this today at to my therapist, and she reminded me to not let fear rob me of the joy.  good luck!
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  • Thanks everyone. It's comforting to know I"m not alone in my feelings.  Getting a good nights sleep really helped to.
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