Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Suffering a loss...(*warning* - SAD)

I am so so heartbroken.  I suffered a m/c this weekend at 4 weeks and a few days.  I just don't know how to function right now, b/c I am a SAHM of DS.

Has anyone gone through this?  How did you get through it?  All I can do is sit here wrapped in a blanket and cry...


BabyFruit Ticker TTC #2 since March 2010. 2 LOSSES ... c/p - Dec 2010. Ectopic - March 2011. Me: 35; DH: 34 DX: DOR, egg quality issues ; DH - all normal FSH 10.1, Estradiol 21.8, AMH 0.49 IVF #1 (Oct/Nov 2011) (Antagonist with BCP's)- 5R, 0 eggs to transfer CD3 b/w by same RE 1/2012: FSH 6, AMH IVF #2 (Apr 2012) EPP/Antagonist with ICSI - 10R, 7M, 6 ICSI'd, 2F. 3DT = BFN AMH tested by new RE 6/2012 - 2! Saving money for IVF #3. Started a ton of supplements in May 2012 and hoping for a miracle! SURPRISE BFP!! (October 2012)

Re: Suffering a loss...(*warning* - SAD)

  • Oh hun I'm so so sorry for your loss. My friend miscarried on New Years Eve last year & she said spending time with her DS helped a lot. I had a stillbirth at 31 weeks & getting out & doing something helped a lot, When I sat at home & sulked it was all I thought about it. Again I'm so sorry. :(
  • I am so sorry for your loss. I also had a loss at 6w, 5d back in September. I was so heartbroken, so I know how you are feeling. It does get better as you heal. It was more emotionally hard than physical for me. I cried a lot, but having my DS made it a lot easier. I feel so bad for those who have had miscarriages without a little miracle at home to love.

    I also visited the miscarriage/pregnancy loss board. All the ladies are so nice and supportive on that board as well. Sometimes when you are going through a tough time, it is nice to be in the company with others that have as well.

    Just remember, this does not mean you will not be able to get pregnant again in the future. My doctor told me that our bodies know when there is something wrong (not anything you did), with certain pregnancies and our bodies know it. He told us to wait 2 cycles before trying again, so pretty soon we can start TTC again, and I can tell I am ready. I hope you find peace and heal quickly. Please PM if you need to talk. I know how hard it is!


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  • Oh no...I'm so sorry for your loss.  **hugs**

    I suggest putting on some TV or DVDs for LO and just vegging out today.  Give yourself some time.  One day (or a few) won't hurt LO. 

  • First, I'm sooo sorry your going through this.  I had an early mc at about 6 weeks back in October.  I was heartbroken too.

    The best advice I can give is to let yourself cry, give yourself time to grieve.  Each day will get a little easier.



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    BFP #1 - April '09; Abby Born - Dec '09

    BFP #2 - Blighted Ovum, Natural M/C - Oct '10

    BFP #3 - Ectopic Pregnancy, Methotrexate Shot Successful - July '11

    BFP #4 - 2nd Ectopic, Right Tube Ruptured, Surgery To Remove Baby & Right Tube - Feb '12

    BFP #5 - 3rd Ectopic, Left Tube Ruptured, Surgery To Remove Baby & Left Tube - Aug '12

    IVF #1 Scheduled For Nov '12 - Long Lupron Protocol

    Started Lupron on 11/4 - Started Stims on 11/16 - ER on 11/28, 5 Eggs Retrieved, 3 Fertilized - ET on 11/30, Transfered all 3 Embryos (4 cell, 3 cell, and 2 cell) - BFP! on 12/9 - Beta on 12/11 = 3 :( Chemical
  • I am so sorry to hear you're going through this.  I had a miscarriage before having DS.  What worked for me was to stay active, although I have to say that perhaps I overdid it a little bit.  I wish I had taken a day or so to just be sad and cry.  Can anyone help out with DS for a day or so?  Your body is going through a lot and probably needs the down time, too.  Sending you hugs. 
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.


    Honestly, when we discovered my m/c (missed m/c at 11 weeks) I got blind drunk the first day, then spend the next day curled up on the couch alternately sleeping and crying. You can't really do that since you're caring for your son. I'm not sure if that's good (distraction) or bad (can't grieve). Is there someone there who can help you? Maybe take your son for the day and give you some time/space to mourn your loss?



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  • I am so sorry for your loss 

    Last Christmas Eve I had a loss and I was roughly 7.5 weeks along. I am also a SAHM so I understand how it is hard to find a balance. Thankfully I was able to find a way to grieve but still be "happy" around DS. 

    Hopefully you can find a night to take time for yourself. Maybe go for a drive, see a movie alone or even just have a dinner out. I found it helps a bit to be alone sometimes.

  • I am so sorry for your loss.
  • I am so sorry for your loss.  It is (and was for me) a nearly unbearable experience.  What got me through it all was letting myself grieve.  I had my m/c before I had Nathaniel, and it was crushing to me.  But as pp's have said, your body knows what it is doing, and nothing you did caused it and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.  Allow yourself time to grieve and heal.  And, honestly, get rid of the clothes you were wearing when it started.  I didn't do that for a long time and every time I saw that outfit in the closet I cried again.  I know how stupid that sounds, but that really helped me.  GL to you.  You will be in my prayers.
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. 
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  • Just know that it is healthy to allow yourself to go through the range of emotions. Grieving is necessary for all losses. Sorry for your loss :(

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  • I am so sorry you are going through this. Is there anyone that can help you watch your son for a little bit. I know it's extremely difficult to deal with this. The best advice I can give you is allow yourself to feel the feelings. I have problems staying pregnant and have gone through this before. I'm sorry.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I lost my first pregnancy at 11 weeks, 4 days.  So I do know how you feel & I hate that for you.

    Give yourself time to mourn & grieve.  It is a huge loss.

  • I'm very sorry for your loss. I had two m/c's while we were TTC #2- one two weeks after my wedding, the night before we were supposed to leave on our honeymoon. Yeah, still haven't gotten to go on a honeymoon. The second was about 5mo later. Both times absolutely sucked.

    I got through it because I had to. I had my son relying on me to be the mommy he knew, and I had my husband who held me up whenever he could, but who I sometimes needed to support as well. I had a job that was a blissful distraction at times, and something I hated at others. I took a couple of days to cry, and let my body do it's thing, and then, I knew it was time to suck it up and get back to life. Don't get me wrong, I still cried, I still felt down, I still felt lost. I just had to keep moving because I knew every day I stayed in that place, it'd be that much harder to bring myself out. 

    My parents and the IL's were really helpful during those days- they were able to take DS for some of the time, and for when I had dr appts and whatnot. Do you have someone who could watch your LO for a couple of hours to give you some respite?

    I found the MC/PL board to be a great source of support. I could be angry there when I needed, sad when I needed, even silly and stupid, because you can only cry for so long. I still talk to many of the ladies who I went through my m/c's with. It's a sisterhood no one ever wants to be a part of, but trust me, if you mention it to the women in your life, you'll find out you're in good company.

    For me, after I got over the inital shock of it all, talking about it helped. Either here on TB, or IRL with co-workers who'd gone through m/c, or family members, whomever I could trust to just listen, and not tell me how I needed to get over it. In time, I did "get over it", though I still, to this day, miss my angel babies. I'd have a 2 and a half year old now, instead of a one year old.

    I wouldn't give my DD up for the world though. She was the one we were meant to have. The babies we lost weren't, for some reason. And I'm ok with that now. It took awhile to get there though, I won't lie.

    I hope your physical recover is quick, and that you heal emotionally when you're ready. I promise though, as much as it hurts now, one day, it won't.

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