In the case of international adoption, when I am "reffered" to a child, what does that mean? I realize there will be a lot of paperwork to fill out in both US and country of adoption, but are we not allowed to specify the characteristics we are looking for in a child? Such as gender and health issues or age? And even if we do, are we not allowed to chose from several that meet our criteria, or are we usually just shown one and asked to take or leave the child? (Either way its aweful, like selecting puppy, and i just want to take them all)


Re: Refferals

  • I may be wrong here... but as I understand it, it may differ by program and country.

    1-  Some countries allow you to specify gender and age range, and medical conditions that you'll consider, AND then they send a "referral" for a child that matches your criteria.

    2-  In Waiting Children programs, as the name applies, there are children that have not been referred and you may get to select one to be considered. 

    Again, I am probably not using the right language and I could be a bit off, but that's how I understand some of the differences. 

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • we're looking into starting the international adoption process.

     it varies by the country you are adopting from. but, basically when you start the process you can specify certain things  ( like the age range you are looking for and some medical conditions you would be open to, etc). some countries let you specifiy the gender... a lot of them don't.

      so, basically the agency will let you know when they have a child that matches what you are looking for. they'll send you all the information they have on the child ( medical records, etc) and you usually have a certain period of time to go over the information, have a doctor look over the information ( there are actually doctors that specialize in international adoption). and then you can choose whether to move forward with the adoption or not.

      if for some reason you choose not to accept the child referred to you, i thnk in most cases, you are just put back on the waiting list and you wait for another referral.

       like i said, we are just getting ready to start the process so this might not be 100% correct but from all the research i've done i think this is the general idea. good luck!!

  • miss explained it pretty well.  Some countries have specific rules about what reasons you can turn a referral down, others do not.

    In Peru, for example, they try really hard to match families within the specification that they said they are open to, so a family may only turn down a referral for medical issues or other major issues that contradict with their stated "openness."  So a family that said they are open to a child between the ages of 2-6 with learning delays and minor medical problems could turn down a referral of a child needing major surgery and remain in the program, but they would be removed from the program for turning down a referral of a 3 year old with minor ADD and no other medical/behavioral/psychiatric/emotional problems just because they wanted a child who looked more like them, didn't like their name, it wasn't the right time, etc.

  • I can only speak of my own agency; our agency gave us a 2 page check list of medical issues and potential birth parent medical history (drug/alcohol abuse, mental diagnosis, rape, etc.) and we had to go down through and check if it was something we would accept or not accept. Probably one of the hardest paperwork to do.

    I had asked our agency, how often does an adoptive family actually turn down a refferal, I was told that it's not too common, but it has happened. Usually it only happens when there is a miscommunication and they offer you a child that has a medical issue that you had already marked on your paperwork as "not accept". Harsh, I know. If you turn down a refferal, you get reffered another child, once they find a match for you.

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