Babies: 0 - 3 Months

LO is getting spoiled already!

i know they say you can't spoil a newborn, but i think that's bull. LO will not go to sleep unless she is held or rocked in her bassinet, or most disturbing, unless there's a bottle in her mouth. we use a pacifier but there's no fooling her! i don't like this habit and it worries me... anyone else with a similar problem or advice on how to change it? other than letting her cry it out (last resort) TIA!

Re: LO is getting spoiled already!

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  • She is an infant. She spent 9+ months being held tightly in your womb, it is normal for them to want that comfort. She isnt spoiled, she's a baby.
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  • image SookieFrackhouse68:

    You cannot spoil a 3 week old.

    NFT

    This. Give her what she needs...
  • I agree with the others she is not spoiled she's a baby. Plus infants need reassurance and love its part of all the developmental theories ever talked about.
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  • There is a reason babies like to be rocked... not because they think its fun and want to manipulate you into doing it. It is because it is comforting! Your LO has only been in this big scary world a few short weeks, and being held or rocked reminds her of your comfortable womb. As your baby gets more awake and alert, you will probably find that you will have to actively *put her down to sleep*... if all you have to do is rock your baby to make her comfortable, consider yourself lucky. She is not spoiled or manipulating you... she just needs certain comforts, and will probably be much better off if you provide them. 

     

    Also, if she wants the bottle and not a pacifier, she may be hungry and want to nurse to sleep? IDK how it works with a bottle, but I nurse my baby almost to sleep, then swaddle, rock for a few minutes, set her in her crib and she sleeps really well. I don't think its a bad "habit" this young.

     

    GL! 

     

     


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  • I sooo agree with the previous posters! She is 3 weeks old...If she wants to be held/rocked to sleep let her! As for the bottle issue, she IS probably hungry. Newborns get "milk drunk" and VERY sleepy when they eat. If she wants to eat and just so happens to fall asleep then let her. :) My 2.5 month old still falls asleep with a bottle. Granted it doesn't happen always but she does.

    All this and my baby sleeps really well. She has her times but I do whatever it takes to soothe her...I have heard it too many times, a child this young cannot self soothe. It is up to you!

    Good Luck and Be patient...It DOES get better! :)

  • Your baby isn't spoiled.  She had needs, needs that maybe aren't convenient for you, but needs non the less.  They probably aren't the same needs your other children had, doesn't mean she doesn't need these things.

    I promise you that in a few months you will not wish you held or rocked your baby less.

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  • This was my LO too. Except he still prefers to be held... all day long!! I'm starting to think it's becoming an issue now, at almost 2 months. However, 3 weeks old? Nah... just cuddle and rock all day long. He does fall asleep in his crib now and will play for short amounts of time.
  • image bancbev:

    Your baby isn't spoiled.  She had needs, needs that maybe aren't convenient for you, but needs non the less.  They probably aren't the same needs your other children had, doesn't mean she doesn't need these things.

    I promise you that in a few months you will not wish you held or rocked your baby less.

    This!  What is it that makes you think it's "bull"??  Babies would benefit from having a 4th trimester, therefore you should be making their environment as womb-like as possible.  They don't have the brain capacity to be spoiled yet, they just have instinctual needs which you need to fulfill.

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  • LO won't always need to be rocked, etc.  Indulge her a little bit, the baby stage seems to last so long when you are in it, but looking back it all passed so quickly with my first DS.  With the second DS I know that there is a promised land of STTN eventually, the first few months are just rough.
  • I'm honestly on the fence. When they're that young I think they need to be comforted no matter what, BUT I also don't buy that they can't form habits. Since DD was very young I didn't make a habit of picking her up every time she made a peep. Instead I'd try giving her a paci, rubbing my hand on her and "shushing' her. I really believe that's a reason why she is so independent today. If you're not used to something, you don't realize when it's missing.
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  • I feel really sorry for your children. Do you want your baby to grow up with trust issues?
  • image kg_08:
    I'm honestly on the fence. When they're that young I think they need to be comforted no matter what, BUT I also don't buy that they can't form habits. Since DD was very young I didn't make a habit of picking her up every time she made a peep. Instead I'd try giving her a paci, rubbing my hand on her and "shushing' her. I really believe that's a reason why she is so independent today. If you're not used to something, you don't realize when it's missing.

    Yes 

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  • image vivisoul:
    I feel really sorry for your children. Do you want your baby to grow up with trust issues?

    Do you know how many people have done this through the ages? Your mom probably did it to you. My mom did it to me. I love my mom.

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  • There's a difference between not picking your LO up every time they make a sound and not wanting to help them to sleep.  At this point, most babies NEED to be actively comforted in order to get to sleep.  It's not spoiling them, and they are not manipulating you or forming bad habits.
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  • okay maybe it was a poor choice of words... i know you can't really spoil a baby, i guess i meant about forming habits. with DS i did everything to keep him calm; rocking, walking, singing, swinging, vibrations, floor fan, swaddling, and those preferences stuck with him til he was over a year old! it was only recently that he'll go to sleep on his own, and its still only in a quiet room by himself and the slightest noises wake him up. it makes things very difficult when traveling or at someone else's house or when people are at my house.

    i just don't want to start LO with habits that will stick with her and be hard to break. obviously i'm not going to deny her any cuddling or rocking if thats what she needs, but when do you really start weaning them off of these kind of comforts? i know she needs to learn to self soothe, when do we start that?

    and my main concern with this whole post was the bottle in mouth thing. she'll sleep content as long as that bottle is in her mouth, she'll suck a couple times, then sleep, then a few more times, then sleep. i'll try to wake her up more to eat but she just wants to sleep. but if i switch the bottle with a paci she wakes up and starts crying. i don't know if "bottle mouth" applies this early, but it worries me!!!

  • image kg_08:
    I'm honestly on the fence. When they're that young I think they need to be comforted no matter what, BUT I also don't buy that they can't form habits. Since DD was very young I didn't make a habit of picking her up every time she made a peep. Instead I'd try giving her a paci, rubbing my hand on her and "shushing' her. I really believe that's a reason why she is so independent today. If you're not used to something, you don't realize when it's missing.

     

    this.  

    OP, read Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.  It talks a lot about teaching your baby to sleep sensibly (i.e. fall asleep independently).  She does NOT advocate crying it out.  She tells you to comfort your LO every time she cries.  But she also suggests ways to help LO learn to fall asleep without props (props being you and the bottle).  We're on day 2 of trying her methods and LO is currently sleeping in her crib and hasn't cried once since I put her in there an hour ago.  2 days ago, she would need to be held to fall asleep and would wake up and cry within 10 minutes of being put down. 

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  • thank u! i will definitely get that, sounds like it could work, and this is the kind of advice or direction to some help that i was looking for, thank u...
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