2nd Trimester

Any women in interfaith marriages/relationships out there?

My DH is Jewish and I am Christian, although neither of us very religious.  For those in interfaith relationships, what are you planning to do once your child is born?  Baptism?  Bris? As of now, we're not planning on doing either.  If we pick one, it will make the other side of the family angry.. so we just figured to tick off everyone off and not do one of the other.  If my DH or I felt strongly either way, I'd say we'd pick one... but we both think it's hypocritical to force one religion onto the child if we don't fully participate in the faith ourselves.  What are you doing?

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Re: Any women in interfaith marriages/relationships out there?

  • We are doing the exact same thing you are. ETA: we are also choosing not to circumcise.
    Please forgive my typos! I'm not as dumb as my iphone would like you to believe :)
    The Maiden Metallurgist
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  • I'm totally ignorant when it comes to this, but a baptism at a non-denominational church???
    Stephanie Hsu
  • If we went Christian route, we'd have a baptism in the methodist church I grew up in... You can have a baptism at a non-denominational church, but that still "officially" labels the child as Christian...

     We plan on having plenty of open discussions with our child as he/she grows up and exposing him/her to both religions.. and if he/she wants to pick one of the other, we will be totally supportive.

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  • DH and I are not religious either, but we have agreed that we want to bring up our children with some sort of faith. We're choosing one of the Protestant religions and are currently trying out services in our area to see which church we like and which fits our current belief and moral systems best.

    What my family or his family thinks of it hasn't impacted our decision. It's not their kid.

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  • I am Jewish and DH is Catholic. We are doing the same as you... the only thing we are trying to figure out (and we will discuss more once we know whether it will be a boy or girl) is the bris piece. We both agree that circumcising the boy (if thats that case) is what we want... but I don't really want him strapped to a board and it done without me there... and he agrees. But the whole religious part is tough. Some moyals (sp?) will do a "medical bris" in their office without the religious part... but I think my parents would be devastated if we went that route and didn't invite them. So that's still up for discussion...  

    In the future we will teach our children about what we find is important about our own religions (being a good person, family, love, traditions). When they are old enough and wish to, they can decide to follow one or the other or continue to do both... or one that they find fits them better. We really just want to raise loving, good, family people.

  • I am a ELCA Lutheran and my boyfriend has no religion.  I think I will teach my child and let them get baptized when they choose to.  If they want to.  I don't believe that God would turn a child away from Heaven making this decision... so that is what we are doing.
  • I agree with this... I don't believe a just God would ever send someone to he11 for not being baptized... I just feel bad because my Dad is really heartbroken over the whole thing.  However, I can't make such an important decision based on his feelings on the issue.  It's our child and it's a decision to be made by myself and my husband.  Hopefully he'll get over it with some time.

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  • image Rachel5782:

    My DH is Jewish and I am Christian, although neither of us very religious.  For those in interfaith relationships, what are you planning to do once your child is born?  Baptism?  Bris? As of now, we're not planning on doing either.  If we pick one, it will make the other side of the family angry.. so we just figured to tick off everyone off and not do one of the other.  If my DH or I felt strongly either way, I'd say we'd pick one... but we both think it's hypocritical to force one religion onto the child if we don't fully participate in the faith ourselves.  What are you doing?

    I'm Jewish and DH is Catholic.  We didn't baptize DS or have a bris.  We both agree with the bolded statement.

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  • Nate and his family are Catholic. My adoptive parents are Muslim and Hindu and my bio parents are Catholic. I don't believe/follow organized religion. My MIL (and Nate) really wanted the twins to be baptized so I agreed. I had no preference and if it made them happy, I was glad to oblige. So, our kids are going to be baptized and they'll be introduced to all the religions/cultures of our families as our families are pretty religious but we won't force them to be one religion.

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  • image Rachel5782:

    I agree with this... I don't believe a just God would ever send someone to he11 for not being baptized... I just feel bad because my Dad is really heartbroken over the whole thing.  However, I can't make such an important decision based on his feelings on the issue.  It's our child and it's a decision to be made by myself and my husband.  Hopefully he'll get over it with some time.

     He will get over it.  My grandmother is really struggling too, in fact just this morning she was at me to have a baptism, because you have to have a baptism...but. we both feel strongly that a baptism would be so wrong for our family, so we'll hold our ground, and she'll get over it. 

    Please forgive my typos! I'm not as dumb as my iphone would like you to believe :)
    The Maiden Metallurgist
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  • I'm the same boat, only reversed. I'm Jewish and DH is Catholic. Neither of us really practices, so we're just not going to worry about religion. I think it would be different if either of us were open to converting to the other's religion, but since we're not, we're just not going to worry about it. To us, it's more important for our children to grow up into good people than to worry about associating themselves with a particular religion. 

    Besides, I really don't like the reform rabbi in our area, so I'm not really sure I'd feel comfortable having a Bris with him officiating. And DH doesn't even have a Catholic church in the area that attends at all. 


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  • My mom is Jewish and my dad is Christian and I was raised in line with what you all are saying.  We never did any baptisms or bat mitzvahs or anything.  My parents exposed me to some of the traditions of each religion but never forced either one upon me.  DH is Christian, though neither of us follows organized religion now.  We plan on teaching LO kindness, respect, compassion, etc. and will let her choose an organized religion if she wants to.
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  • image Rachel5782:

    If my DH or I felt strongly either way, I'd say we'd pick one... but we both think it's hypocritical to force one religion onto the child if we don't fully participate in the faith ourselves.

    This.  

    My mom and dad were raised Catholic and Orthodox Jewish, respectively, but both ended up rejecting everything.  In fact, to say that my dad is Atheist is an understatement, "Anti-theist" might be more appropriate!  When my brother was born he made a huge deal out of how he refused to have him circumcised and what this represented to him.  DH's parents, on the other hand, are Methodist, and MIL is especially religious.  If our child receives any spiritual education whatsoever it will be non-denominational, which I think will slightly piss off both my dad and MIL, but oh well.  We'll just stress to our families that the child will be educated in all their cultural traditions and family history and I think they'll ultimately be ok with that.  Even my dad can appreciate telling his granddaughter funny stories about getting in big trouble with his own (4'10"-tall) mother for sneaking non-kosher sandwiches into the house.

  • We do both, Im Jewish and DH is Catholic, when she grows up and chooses one or the other or something different then she will. And I grew up with both, my mother being Jewish and my dad being protestant and Im a normal functioning adult. We have a "holiday" tree and we do Hanukkah She has a hebrew name and she will probably have a first comunion. In my mind Jesus was a jew so from a "historical" standpoint one could not exist without the other. It works for us. GL :D
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  • Ugh.  I dread this.  My parents are Jewish and Armenian and I was raised with good principles and some religious teachings from each.  My H is Catholic.  I consider myself Jewish.  However, since I have never been exposed to formal religion on a regular basis, it's not in me to attend services, I don't seem to connect.  I know...it's horrible.

    My H and I have found a wonderful Unitarian Church, and so far we can't drag ourselves in.  I'd like to instill better faith in the LO, but so far, we can't even commit to it ourselves :(

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  • I am Baptist and DH is Christian Science (not to be confused with Scientology). I am familiar with the rift in the family of having two different denominations. My Dad was Baptist and my Mom was Methodist. The only time I ever remember my folks fighting was over which religion my brothers and I would be. DH and I don't attend a church. We haven't found one we like and given our schedules right now, it's not been feasible.

  • My husband is Hindu, I'm Catholic. We're not religious people, although we'll expose the child to both religions, Our decision is not to baptise him.
  • DH is Jewish (not religious at all) and I am Christian Indian. We will follow the Christian faith but we will hold out on the baptism until she decides that she wants to be baptized.
  • I'm Jewish, my husband is Catholic but neither of us is really practicing.  We aren't planning to do anything.  Religion isn't really important in our lives.
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  • I was raised Catholic and DH's family is Muslim but never really practiced. Neither of us are religious now or have any urge to be. I'm sure my family will be upset that we are not baptising the baby but I really don't care. Also, if DH begins to feel strongly to raise our children believing in Islam then he will but he will be responsible for it. Good luck to everyone dealing with this.
    BFP 7/17/12 DD#1 3/10/10 BFP 3/26/12 Natural MC 4/11/12 #2 Due 3/30/12
  • Since we don't plan to raise our DC in one particular religion, we did nothing.

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  • I'm Jewish, DH is Presbyterian, and our daughter attends a Quaker school (where I also teach). We didn't baptize or anything and we won't...we just celebrate holidays and leave it at that. When she's older, if she wants to choose, fine, but we're certainly not in a position to choose for her as non-practicing members.
    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • We did neither and had our son circumcised at the hospital. We will do the same for this one. 
  • I am agnostic, my DH is Jewish. We always stressed that it was important to raise LO with both of our cultures (not necessarily religious, but I am Chinese and would like to celebrate certain traditions). So, our LO will be converted once he's born--we probably will have an informal bris (if there is such a thing) since DH was big on raising our LO under the Jewish faith. I never converted though my MIL surely tried. I just felt if I wasn't going to give something my 100%, then it wouldn't be right. Though, I have been told I'm more Jewish than most Jews...lol.

    We're a very multi-cultural family (our wedding was Jewish, Chinese and military) so we think it's important to include as much as we can. I'm thankful that my parents and in-laws get a long. And when we get together, my family tries to keep everything kosher though sometimes things slip (my mom knows of the shellfish and pork, but often forgets the milk/meat rule).

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  • My husband was raised Hindu and I am Catholic.  We plan on having our son baptized and will send him to a catholic school. 

    We also think it is very important that he be taught about his Indian culture and thus be taught about Hinduism and celebrate that faith as well.

     When he is an adult he can choose what faith to continue on with.

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  • We are doing the same as you. I am Jewish and my DH (I assume this means Dear Husband?) is Catholic. We will not be having a Baptism nor a bris (if boy, we are too soon to know the sex). We will bring up our baby with both religions and let them choose when they are older. I have already forewarned my mother of this, who is having a hard time, but she will have to deal. Her issue is that in the Jewish religion the child is what the mother is because you are positive who the mother is, not who the father is. I have told her this is the one thing I disagree with completely. It makes me feel like the mother can is an adulterer.

     

  • We chose to circumcise at the hospital.  We are observing both of our traditions and hope to expose our children to both our cultures equally so our children can choose their own religious paths.
  • H and I are atheists from Catholic/Jewish/Presbyterian backgrounds (convoluted, much?). Our kids will be raised to think for themselves and if they chose a religion later in life, that's great, if not, that's great too.  The inlaws want Christenings, but that won't be happening. My SILs both had religious wedding ceremonies and plan on baptizing their kids, which in way makes me feel like we look bad to his parents, but at the same time, his parents don't know the first thing about their faith (I'd be surprised if they could name the first three books of the Bible) and never attend church.  I think we're making the right choice.
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  • My husband's mother is Hindu, his father is Jain, and I was raised Catholic. We plan on teaching about all religions as the kiddies grow up, more of the "be a good person" aspect of each religion. I'm a little less religious than hubby. We like the social/cultural aspects of each ethnicity more than we're sold on religion. Truly, if one of my children wanted to be Buddhist, another Jewish, and a third Greek Orthodox - I'm fine with that.
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  • My husband and I are both technically Catholic but neither one of us really believe in it.  We know we will have a fight on our hands when we decide to not have a baptism unless the child decides to when they are old enough to understand.  Both of our grandmothers gave us grief at first for having a civil ceremony for a wedding instead of being married by a priest.  A judge was perfectly fine in our book.
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