2nd Trimester

well im only 17 and need some advice

I'm only 17 and 4 months along. Haven't been to a doctor and is afraid to tell my parents does anyone know a way to soften the blow? because i really need a doctor to make sure he/shes okay but im afraid to get kicked out. help?
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Re: well im only 17 and need some advice

  • like someone? please i really dont know what todo
  • The longer you wait the harder it will be to tell your parents, because they'll feel like you've been hiding it. There's no easy way, but it's better to just get it over with.

    As far as going to the doctor, it's really important to get prenatal care for the health of the baby, and your own health as well. I know you may be 17 and scared, but you really need to do the responsible thing. 

    You can PM me if you want to talk more

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  • I'm from Canada and I know the rules around health care are very different in the States, so pardon my ignorance.

    Why do you have to tell your parents about your pregnancy in order to see a doctor?  Can't you just make an appointment and go on your own? 

  • no since im only 17 i need a parent with me to go to the doctor.
  • i know i need to tell them and my mom keeps asking im just afraid to say yes
  • image breebree9702:
    no since im only 17 i need a parent with me to go to the doctor.

    I don't think that's true... you could go to any walk in clinic, and with the whole doctor/patient confidentiality thing you could go on your own and your parents wouldn't have to know. I do strongly suggest telling them though.. better to just get it out. They may be mad, but who knows... they may help you out too.

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  • well my parents hate the father which is why i know they wont help because weve had the conversation before. and i do need one for my doctor and since im always grounded i cant get to a clinic easily. and i do plan on telling them but i just dont know how to say it bc i dont think me just saying "hey Im pregnant" will go over very well
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  • image breebree9702:
    well my parents hate the father which is why i know they wont help because weve had the conversation before. and i do need one for my doctor and since im always grounded i cant get to a clinic easily. and i do plan on telling them but i just dont know how to say it bc i dont think me just saying "hey Im pregnant" will go over very well

    Can you think of a better way? You said your mom has been asking, so she knows it's coming. If that's the only way you're going to go to the hospital, better to do it as soon as possible. You need to get checked out at the hospital.. even something as simple as a UTI can cause serious problems. Also some hospitals don't like taking new patients after you're so far along.... Just do it! Even if they don't like the dad, it's still their grandbaby. They will get over it. Better for them to be mad than for you or your baby to have serious medical problems.

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  • They are going to find out sooner or later. The sooner you tell them the better. It's not good to stress yourself out (that's how I went into labor early). You also need to see a doctor and start taking vitamins so the baby is healthy. I don't think there is a way to soften the news but you could write a letter with the news if your afraid to tell them face to face. You will start showing soon so you won't be able to hide it much longer. There are clinics you can go to but it would be best to tell your parents first and see how that goes. If they kick you out there are places that will help you. There are a lot of things the doctor needs to check out so you need to see one soon.
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  • image cruelsound:
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    LOL that's what I'm thinking.. but hey, I'm alone on thanksgiving while DH is at work.

     

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  • Is there a high school counselor or someone that could help you out with getting to a doctor, at least until you are ready to tell your folks? I agree that you need to tell your parents, but while you figure out that part it's really important to get medical care. 

    Maybe a high school counselor or teacher can connect you with a public health nurse (do you have those?) or maybe even prenatal vitamins.  

    I'm assuming you are wanting to keep the baby. Am I correct?  (Don't feel like you need to answer.)

  • Write an email or a letter. Even if they hate the dad your not going to change what has happened and who the dad is by waiting to tell them. At some point you have to tell them and deal with what has happened. You have to take the first step and let them know so you can start figuring things out and getting health care you need.
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  • image ShannonMarieH:
    They are going to find out sooner or later. The sooner you tell them the better. It's not good to stress yourself out (that's how I went into labor early). You also need to see a doctor and start taking vitamins so the baby is healthy. I don't think there is a way to soften the news but you could write a letter with the news if your afraid to tell them face to face. You will start showing soon so you won't be able to hide it much longer. There are clinics you can go to but it would be best to tell your parents first and see how that goes. If they kick you out there are places that will help you. There are a lot of things the doctor needs to check out so you need to see one soon.

    i agree with this post. the hardest thing is to tell your parents because you feat disappointment and rejection (esp since you mention the do not like the babys dad) but its best to inform them so that they can help you get on the right track for you and your babys future coz clearly it looks like you need your moms support. of course they may be disappointed but whats done is done and soon enough they will look forward to having a grandchild. all the best to you....

     

     

  • image dahansen85:

    Is there a high school counselor or someone that could help you out with getting to a doctor, at least until you are ready to tell your folks? I agree that you need to tell your parents, but while you figure out that part it's really important to get medical care. 

    Maybe a high school counselor or teacher can connect you with a public health nurse (do you have those?) or maybe even prenatal vitamins.  

    I'm assuming you are wanting to keep the baby. Am I correct?  (Don't feel like you need to answer.)

     

    ive tried making appointments with my counselor, but with all the graduation stuff going on at the moment theres really no time for her to see me, and yes i wanna keep the baby even if i may not be entirely ready for it. i dont think i could stand to give him/her up even if i wanted to.

  • image dahansen85:

    Is there a high school counselor or someone that could help you out with getting to a doctor, at least until you are ready to tell your folks? I agree that you need to tell your parents, but while you figure out that part it's really important to get medical care. 

    Maybe a high school counselor or teacher can connect you with a public health nurse (do you have those?) or maybe even prenatal vitamins.  

    I'm assuming you are wanting to keep the baby. Am I correct?  (Don't feel like you need to answer.)

     

    Ive tried making an appointment with my counselor, but with the graduation stuff going on its hard to keep appointments, and yes i wanna keep the baby. I dont think i could give him/her up if i wanted to

  • image dahansen85:

    Is there a high school counselor or someone that could help you out with getting to a doctor, at least until you are ready to tell your folks? I agree that you need to tell your parents, but while you figure out that part it's really important to get medical care. 

    Maybe a high school counselor or teacher can connect you with a public health nurse (do you have those?) or maybe even prenatal vitamins.  

    I'm assuming you are wanting to keep the baby. Am I correct?  (Don't feel like you need to answer.)

     

    Ive tried making an appointment with my counselor, but with the graduation stuff going on its hard to keep appointments, and yes i wanna keep the baby. I dont think i could give him/her up if i wanted to

  • I think you know exactly what you need to do.. and you knew even before you posted this I'm sure. You need to think about what's best for the baby instead of your parents' reaction.
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  • Where I am from there is a place called planned parenthood, usually free but accept donations they could probably do some tests to see if the baby is okay or point you in the right direction, do you have anything like that?
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  • image a22f10:
    Where I am from there is a place called planned parenthood, usually free but accept donations they could probably do some tests to see if the baby is okay or point you in the right direction, do you have anything like that?

    yes i do its just a hard time getting there. thats really the only issue is getting there.

  • image breebree9702:
    no since im only 17 i need a parent with me to go to the doctor.

    No you dont. Not for pregnancy. I was 17 when I got pregnant with my dd, I applied for Medicaid on me own, and made my appts on my own.

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  • just sit down with them, but make sure the tv is turned off and the phones are off.  Just sit them both down and say i have something that i need to tell you, and i dont want you to get upset, and that you really need their help. then tell them that you are pregnant with their grandchild, and you really hope that they can forgive you, and accept this baby as part of their lives.

    Hopefully that will help.  it is never easy to tell your parents that you are pregnant, no matter how old you are.  I was 35 when i got pregnant with my first child, and trust me i still had a hard time telling them.

  • In the united states when you are pregnant and underage you are considered an adult. Legally your medical providers can not disclose your care with anyone without your permission. You can go to the doctor (your family doctr) under your parents insurance and the doctor cannot disclose your care to your family. Call your doctor and ask them.
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  • image breebree9702:
    I'm only 17 and 4 months along. Haven't been to a doctor and is afraid to tell my parents does anyone know a way to soften the blow? because i really need a doctor to make sure he/shes okay but im afraid to get kicked out. help?

    Your ticker says 14 weeks. 14 weeks does not equal 4 months.

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  • image akating:
    In the united states when you are pregnant and underage you are considered an adult. Legally your medical providers can not disclose your care with anyone without your permission. You can go to the doctor (your family doctr) under your parents insurance and the doctor cannot disclose your care to your family. Call your doctor and ask them.

    But FYI if they bill your parents insurance and your parents get a bill, whatever treatment you had will likely be on the bill.  This is how my dad found out I had LEEP procedure done in college.

    Bottom line, come clean.  You made the baby, now do what's best for the baby not for you.  Get the treatment you need and that your baby desperately needs. 

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  • I was only fifteen when i had my first baby..and the best thing for you to do is to just tell them. Eventually you are going to start to show. plus you need to get prenatal care for that baby.Your parents will probably be upset at first but eventually they will get over it : )
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  • You gotta tell them. They are eventually going to find out and the longer you wait the angrier they are going to be that you hid this from them. As for seeing a doctor, you need to as soon as possible. In the meantime make sure you are taking prenatal vitamins (you can buy them over the counter in any drug store), do not drink or smoke if you do and try to take care  of yourself. Your parents might be mad at first when you tell them but its better that you tell them than having them find out on their own and they will get over it.
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