December 2010 Moms

You Could Be Living With Your Mother-In-Law....(Long - PiPs)

It could always be worse.

Back in September, my inlaws came over to paint the nursery for use while my husband and I were in the States for my baby shower. The room had this paneling on the window wall and being curious, my MIL pulled back the paneling to see what was behind it. (We just used this third bedroom as storage so nothing had been done to the room since we moved in.) All of a sudden, wasps started pouring out from the wall where she had pulled back the paneling. We were told it was something like out of a horror movie. To make a ridiculously long story short, the wall was extremely damaged from the wasps and the windows (which were 50+ years old) had left a ton of rot in the walls. We had an inspector come to the house to see if there were more living things in the walls - and through that process, my husband took off more drywall in other rooms of the house to find that there was even more rot. So....construction began.

The plan had been to remove all outside walls and replace the windows as well put in new insulation and drywall. Our bathroom (our only bathroom) was a nightmare - it was incredibly ugly with pink fixtures and the ugliest floral tile you've ever seen. But the bad thing was there was a mold problem. So that needed gutted. And, the kitchen got gutted too because when they pulled off the outside walls, they realized the floor joists were rotten and needed replaced. The cupboards splintered as they tried to remove them and had to be thrown away.

So through all of this, my husband and I had to move out of the house. And in with my inlaws. And of course, we brought our three dogs. Right now there are seven people living in one tiny place and soon we'll be bringing our new LO here. It's one incredibly hard process to not be nesting in my own home - with my own stuff. It's been so hard not being able to decorate a nursery (I've been dreaming about doing it since day one!). And it's been hard to just go through the last bit of my pregnancy with so many people around. They do things so differently than I do in my home and it's been a hard adjustment. If I don't make dinner, there isn't any and that can be pretty frustrating cooking for 7+ people. (There are often guests over.) And can I just say that I'm DREADING going through post partum care and learning to breastfeed in the same house as my FIL and BIL. Ugh.

We're all doing our best to make a good situation out of one that I don't think many of us want to be in. But I admit, it's really tough. This is our first baby and never in my life would I have dreamed that this would be my reality. I normally have a fantastic relationship with my inlaws but living with them for the last 2 and a half months has been hard. My MIL has been soooo naggy. Not with me but with everyone else - including my husband. And it's incredibly grating on my nerves to hear her nag about every.little.thing.

One SIL gave up her large bedroom for my DH and I and I've been able to organize LO's things and had a bit of a chance to "nest". Goodness knows how long this situation will last or how long we'll be living here for. There is so much to do to the house before we can possibly move back in. Even now there are huge gaping holes covered by tarps where new chipboard has to go before the house can even get sheeted. It's a mess. So please be thankful that you aren't living with your inlaws. :)

Here are a couple photos:

image Wasp damage in the nursery.

image Bathroom

image Outside At Night

image The Kitchen

Thanks for listening to my rant/vent. I just needed to get that off my chest. I really appreciate it!

Re: You Could Be Living With Your Mother-In-Law....(Long - PiPs)

  • Well I have to say, my hubby and I are living with my MIL and it is really hard. It is us, his mom, and his sister. I get along very well with his mother but it doesn't make it any easier. I lost my job and found out I was pregnant very close together and we have been living here throughout my entire pregnancy. Even under great circumstances it is really hard that so many things are out of your control. We also have a room and it has been basically impossible to nest, which is awful! I have pretty much given up at this point. There are times where I just don't want to see anyone besides my hubby and so I don't want to go into the kitchen to cook anything. I always have to temper my mood and be miss mary sunshine when I don't feel like it. So just know that there is at least one other mama to be out here who empathizes with you! We will be bringing our LO here when she is born and I too am really nervous that there will always be people around to watch and listen. I am worried I won't be able to bond freely with my baby and I am super nervous more about the other people being around than bringing home the LO! Good luck to you with everything!
  • Ho-LEE crap! That is a nightmare! I mean, I guess on the bright side you didn't have your baby sleeping in a room with a crazy wasp problem and I guess its good to get it all done before you're all settled in with a baby...but man oh man. That's awful. I'm so sorry!

    Hopefully it'll all be done soon and you'll be back in your place and it'll be a nice fresh start :)

  • I am so sorry about your house. I feel your pain living with your in-laws though. We moved right after I found out I was pg with DS and we had to live with my MIL until our house was finished being built. We moved into our house 12/19 and DS was born 1/19..we were there for 6.5 months. You'll make it, and have a gorgeous house to show for it.
    image   image

    image
  • Man oh man, I am not going to ever complain again that we don't have much room for a nursery right now.

    You are really making the best of a crappy situation!

  • I didn't realize there were so many others who were/had lived with their inlaws. I feel for you all! I am thankful to eventually be going home to a "new" house and eventually it will be so fun to redecorate it and finally set up the nursery. I'm also thankful my husband is dying to move out just as bad as I am. Thanks gals for listening/reading my vent and for the encouragement. It means a lot!

    And gamabello, girl, I read myself in every line you wrote. Just this past Sunday, I was getting ready for church and my FIL was sooooo perky. I'm not one for a lot of talking in the morning and he just wanted to chat and goof off and all I wanted to do was punch him in the nose. I so understand what you mean! I don't always want to be a Suzie Sunshine either - especially when all I'd rather do is lay on the couch and watch tv all night instead of chatting it up about how I'm feeling and whatnot. It's such a hard time being with my husband too. When we are so used to our routine and our way of living and then having to put the brakes on it all and do things their way. I hope things get better on your end too. I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to do everything in front of everyone. Learning to be a mommy infront of everyone is something I definatly don't want to do. I dread the first time LO has a crying fit and someone tries to "help" me. I just find that I want to learn on my own. I know some people would love the help but I'd rather just learn and adjust my own way. I really hope things work out the best in your situation. I so feel your pain!

  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

    So I've found that a good freak-out helps every once in a while in this situation. We're also with my IL's so I can completely understand your feelings of having to temper your mood....unable to nest....etc.

    I've found myself trying as many ways as possible to count my blessings lately and it really does help get you through it! The worst has been the inability to nest. Our bedroom is 400 square feet and we do have a little nursery attached...BUT the rest of the house, has until recently, felt SO foreign. 

    Like I pack my toiletries up and take them into the bathroom everyday and even my food is outside in the spare fridge so nobody touches it. It really feels like you're in someone else's home which is difficult.  

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • WOW!  You guys sound like good troopers though; it sounds like a nightmare.  However, now I want to watch the movie The Money Pit... :)  Hope it works out soon!
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I remember reading your story when you first found out. I'm so sorry. I can only imagine. I would seriously be going nuts if I were you. I'm so thankful not to be in your shoes and I really hoep that they can get your house fixed... I don't even want to know how much all of that cost to fix. Sorry you're having a hard time with ur house :(
    BFP#1 EDD 12/31/2010, Mommy's little girl Born 01/05/2011 Married My Love on 07/07/2012 BFP#1 EDD 08/14/2013. Suspected m/c 12/16/2012
  • image ashleynicoles:

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 

    So I've found that a good freak-out helps every once in a while in this situation. We're also with my IL's so I can completely understand your feelings of having to temper your mood....unable to nest....etc.

    I've found myself trying as many ways as possible to count my blessings lately and it really does help get you through it! The worst has been the inability to nest. Our bedroom is 400 square feet and we do have a little nursery attached...BUT the rest of the house, has until recently, felt SO foreign. 

    Like I pack my toiletries up and take them into the bathroom everyday and even my food is outside in the spare fridge so nobody touches it. It really feels like you're in someone else's home which is difficult.  

    I do this too! I keep food in our room too - I wish we had a mini-fridge! The way they eat around here is if you don't eat something right away, forget about getting any. My SIL made an entire tray of cookies one night and by the time the next morning came, they were gone. My DH and I each had two but my FIL ate the rest before anyone woke up! What a sweet tooth. I even had my BIL eat my leftovers (that were half eaten in a styrafoam box). Like who eats half eaten food?? Being in someone else's home is hard - but you're right. I definatly need to be counting my blessings much more. Thankfully, I do have a really good relationship with my inlaws. It always could be 1000 times worse. Thanks for reminding me to look at the positives.

     

  • Somedays I am really going nuts. Smile Luckely, my husband, FIL and husbands best friend all know their way around a home reno. My husband is a plumber so he can take care of all of the piping/bathroom/kitchen remodel and his best friend actually owns his own contracting business. So he builds homes for a living. We are definatly lucky in that area! We're saving a bundle doing the work ourselves. But, it will cost a pretty penny. Thank heavens for bank loans!
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