School-Aged Children

Anyone hold DS back from kindergarten?

So DS just made 4 on September 23rd.  In Louisiana, the cut-off for kindergarten is September 30th.  So he barely makes it.  This means he will only be 4 when he is starting school (very briefly, but still).  I am a nervous wreck thinking that my 4 yo will be getting on a bus and going to school.  Lots of people are telling me they held their son back b/c boys aren't ready for school that young.  I know this varies on the child but just wanted to know if anyone had a similar situation and what they did.  Thanks!

Re: Anyone hold DS back from kindergarten?

  • My son's b-day is in March so for us, there was no issues.  He's in K this year and there are SEVERAL (3-4) boys who were held back.  At the beginning of school there were several birthdays for boys turning 6. 
  • My son was barely 5 when he started kindergarten. He went to preschool when he was barely 4. I was scared about the school bus issue too. I still don't like him riding it, but I think I might just be overprotective. As to whether or not your son is ready; it's your call. You know him better than anyone. I was told by my son's school that he should go to Young 5s instead of kindergarten but I knew that wouldn't be good for him, so he went to kindergarten at 5. You're going to have to go with what you feel is right for him. Good Luck!
  • The bus is the least of my concerns.

    I redshirted my son because 1) he was relatively immature socially and emotionally and because 2) many summer babies (especially boys) are given an extra year to mature at the private school where he started.

    It's important to look at what others in the community are doing because it will impact the curriculum and culture of the classroom. If your son is just turning 5 and all the other boys are just turning or are 6 and he isn't a precosious social butterfly hardened by a couple older sibs, it's not going to go well.

    JMHO, but it was the best educational decision I've made for my son. At 17, he's still reaping the benefits of that extra year. I don't know a single parent who regretted giving a summer boy in an extra year of pre-K. Around here, It's considered the "gift of time".

  • My son has an early October birthday, our cutoff is Dec 1.  I sent him to Kindergarten according to the schedule.  Prior to Kindergarten he had attended a 2 days/week preschool program for 1 year prior to Kindergarten and then Kindergarten was 1/2 day program, 5 days/wk.  He did really well.  He is one of the youngest in his class but he is actually doing better grade wise than most of them. He is in 5th grade now.  Each child is different.  I would discuss this with your child's teacher, not other parents.  The teacher will know better if she feels he is ready or not.
  • dh grew up there... end of aug bday and was 4 for a about a week of his kindergarten year. he was incredibly shy as a kid and probably could have done well with waiting a year... but did fine not waiting.  would waiting have made him less shy??? dunno... that said, he ended up captain of the football team in h.s., went to college and has phd from an ivy league school.... he's a college professor.  

    don't worry.  check schools, their curriculum and if dc going to preschool or daycare, talk to his teachers about his maturity and readiness for school

    ds will turn 5 a week or so after starting kindie too.  cutoff here is dec 31st... so he should be in the middle of the crew...unless we move, and then that could be a whole other can of worms.  lol.   

  • I'm about to try to make this decision for my end of July birthday boy.

    My game plan is to discuss it with his preschool teachers during parent/teacher conferences this coming Friday and listen to what they recommend and why.

    Bottom line is that I have very little idea of what it's like to be in a kindergarten class but they do.  They know what he's like in a school setting and have observed him both academically and socially.

    I'll weigh what they have to say and go from there. 

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
  • My Aug 2nd boy started Kindergarten this year with a 9/1 cutoff.

    I really think it depends on the child.  If I thought for any reason that he needed another year of PreK, I would have held him back.  But, as it is, he's the tallest in his class even though he's one of the youngest (I know that's not a great reason, but it definitely was part of the decision).  He was ready - academically and socially.  We just had his parent/teacher conference and he's ahead of most of the class.

    Now, do I think his age might be more of an issue when he JUST turns 13 and the other kids are turning 14 a month later?  Probably.  It happened to my brother - November birthday with a December 1st cutoff.  He probably could have used another year - especially in the middle school years.  We'll deal with that when the time comes (not make him do 6th grade twice, of course, but just pay close attention to the maturity issues).

    I'm going to have the opposite problem with my daughter.  December birthday.  She'll be almost 6 when she starts Kindergarten and as a second child, she's precocious as heck.  She's too far away from the cutoff for me to feel comfortable testing her in (I don't even know if they would), but she's going to be more than ready...

  • I think he would be fine on a bus and all.  But, since your cut off is so early, I wouldn't send him next year.  Our cutoff is 12/1 and DS's bday is mid-Aug ... he is the 4th youngest in the class.  He is doing fine, but if he'd been any younger I would have held him back a year.  Chances are that since your cut off is so early, many of the kids will be 6 or turning 6 shortly after school starts. 

    ETA: I agree PPs that have said you need to look at what is going on in your community and also you need to determine what is right for your child.  Also, try not to stress about it now.  You can always enroll your DC in KG and not send him if you think he's not ready come August.  Kids change so much btwn 4 and 5, it's not worth worrying about right now.

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • I'm in Texas and while we have a few years before we actually have to make a decision, right now I'm leaning toward keeping DS out. He is an Aug 23 bday with a 9/2 cut off. In Texas many people hold their boys out - both b/c of maturity and sports. My concern is that if we start him, he will be in class with boys almost a year - year and a half older (he just turned 5 with boys 6 or already 6 who were previously held back).

    I was a young 5th bday was in November the year I was in K. I was the last to do everything b/c of my age and that stayed with me all my life. I just don't want to put a boy in that same spot.

  • I think some of the pp hit on something big.  What do most people in your community do?  In our area in Texas, I would say 80-90% of July and August boys are kept out with about 50% of May and June boys kept out.  (September 1st cut off)  As many people said, it's more a case of maturity - emotionally and socially - and the ability to sit still and learn.  It has nothing to do with intelligence at all.  I would see what his teachers think and go from there, but I know a lot of my friends have kept their boys out and they've always done well.  I can't say how they would have done without it, but personally, I'd definitely keep an August boy out around here.  I almost debated with DD#1 who's a May birthday because she's so tiny and knowing the stats, she will be one of the youngest in her class.  Two of my friends with May boys are keeping them out because they're not ready - one was kept out this year and will start with DD#1, a year older than her and the other will be kept out next year and go to a PreK program.  We've decided we'll send her next year because she's definitely ready emotionally and socially, but it was a question.  I still worry about her when she's 10 in 5th grade and there are 12-year-olds in there talking about dating boys, which is not something I'm hoping to deal with at 10...  What do his teachers say?  What are your friends doing?
  • Our cut-off here in Wisconsin is Sept 2nd.  DS1 has a July 30th bday.  We held him back in 3-year-old preschool (he did it twice, in fact). BEST decision we ever made when it came to him!  As his teacher said to us in preschool, "You want him to be a leader, not a follower and right now he's a follower.  Everyone in the class is older than him." 

    Especially with boys, who mature physically AND socially slower (not to mention developmentally) than girls, I would definitely not push them through. You want that child to fit in - in all aspects of development.

    SAHM to 2 boys (3 & 16 yrs) & 2 girls (5 & 8 yrs)

    Our Angel Boy- m/c in 2007 @ 9wks due to Trisomy 17
  • Also, are you keen on the idea of pushing him thru into a class of peers that will all be driving potentially 1 year sooner than him?  Dating sooner?  Going to parties...the list is endless!! Now that DS1 is 15 1/2, I have an even better grasp of what we did for him.  NO REGRETS!
    SAHM to 2 boys (3 & 16 yrs) & 2 girls (5 & 8 yrs)

    Our Angel Boy- m/c in 2007 @ 9wks due to Trisomy 17
  • DS made the cut off by 3 weeks.  We stressed about what to do too.  In the end, I decided to speak to his pre-school teachers and got their opinions.  They felt that he was ready, so we took a chance andd put him into kindergarten.  We went to parent/teacher interviews last week and we found out that DS is doing great.  He is learning everything that he should be. 

    When people say that 4 year old boy are not "ready" for kindergarten, they are referring to their emotional maturity, not so much their learning capabilities.

    If DS had no done well in Kindergarten, our plan was to put him back into kindergarten at another school( b/c our school district does not allow repeating kindergarten).

  • I know a lot of people that have held their kids back a year due to being so close to the deadline and the kids just not being mature enough.  My DD is going to be held back a year.  She is in a prek program this year and the teachers, my DH and I just do not feel like she is going to be ready.  She will be 5 this June and our cut off is Sept 1.  I really think for her the extra year in PreK will do wonders.  SHe will be 6 and 2 1/2 months when she starts Kindergarten.  I have only heard positive stories from people who hold their kids back that do not feel like they are mature enough to handle.  I would not hold back on age alone though, I think there is a lot more to it
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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