1st Trimester

Mommy to-be and a Pediatric Nurse

I was so excited when we found out... it was only our 2nd month of trying... and that's all it took!

But... I am a worrier and have seen my fair share of crazy/sick as a Pediatric ICU nurse... I am already worried about many things like 'will may baby be born with a 4 chambered heart?  "will I have a preemie?' etc. ... anyone find anything that helps put things into perspective? I see the extremes at work and sometimes have a hard time seeing that most babies are just fine.

Words of wisdom welcome!

Re: Mommy to-be and a Pediatric Nurse

  • I don't know what to tell you...

    Is there any way a dr. at work could give you a rough estimate of how many babies are delivered at your hospital in a week? Then you could compare that number to the only 2 or 3 that make it in to see you.


  • I'm an OB, so I totally relate to your worries.  I have all those same worries, plus worries about surviving the pregnancy myself.  It doesn't help that we had a freak maternal death at my hospital about 2 weeks ago.  The only thing I can tell you is that given your experience, it is totally normal to feel that way.  I just keep reminding myself that MOST kids are totally fine and that I'm already doing what I can to prevent birth defects, complications, etc., and the rest is out of anyone's control.  I'm a huge control freak, so that is hard to accept, but the self talk does help a little. You might feel a little better once you're further along and some of those unknowns are gone (like you see the 4-chamber heart on u/s), but new worries are bound to pop up (and continue to pop up as long as you are this kid's mom!).  I guess it's one way to learn that you are no longer in charge, and it's probably best to learn that sooner rather than later :)

    Good luck!

  • All I can say is everything your feeling is normal.  I am also an RN and I freak out about everything especially because I feel like I just know too much!  I've already had one baby, but I am still freaking out just the same and it is a little different because even though I'm fully aware that every pregnancy is different I still find myself comparing it to the first and then freaking out about new symptoms I have.  Welcome though this board is great when it comes to freak out moments there are a lot of great ladies to answer your questions.



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  • Congrats. I worry because of my previous loss....haven't found anything out yet other than just trying to remember that "today I am pregnant and today I love my baby."
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  • Oh, I could have written this! I work at a children's hospital (not as an RN, but I see many many children with various syndromes and medical conditions daily). For me, I've found it oddly comforting to follow a more detailed developmental timeline (I really like the prenatal timeline on ehd.org), because I can know at which points certain things are developing (it has a cochlear nerve! Hooray!). Even if I don't know if everything developed correctly, knowing that that piece has already happened (or not), so there's no use in worrying, since what's done is done and I will find out later if everything went well.

    I've tried to look up statistics on healthy births, etc., but it just hasn't helped me as much. I think it was Scrubs that said "We're anecdotal creatures. Even knowing the statistics, we all know someone in that 1% and that's what we think of." Or something :-)

    I've tried spending more time with friends who have perfectly healthy kids to balance out what I see at work, and sometimes that helps too.

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    You did NOT just say that!

  • I feel the same way :(

    I work on a Pediatric step down unit as an RN and we see so many rare/genetic/accidental conditions that it freaks me out completely. 

    I didn't tell anybody when we found out, and it still took me forever to tell people.  Immediate family knows, Work knows, but I still haven't announced to semi distant friends and family yet!!

     I had a chat with my husband when we found out and told him about the NT scan, and that I was doing it. I've also done anything the OB offers that insurance is paid for, just to be on the safe side!!

    The 20 week US really made me feel better though. The tech knew I was a nurse, so I got a little bit more detailed of a "reading" from her- heart, brain,cerebellum, diaphagm, 2 lips,  etc.  I just kept praying for a 4 chambered heart with all of the heart conditions we see!!!

    Now I worry that we just need to grow :)  It also doesn't help that I have an anterior placenta, so I don't feel as much movement of baby as my pregnant friends have at this stage during pregnancy..

    I don't think I'll ever stop worrying even after the baby..but every day that we stay inside is another day that we grow and get stronger!!!

    No real words of widsom, but I understand 100% where you are coming from... 


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  • Wow there's a lot of us here!  I'm mostly freaked out by neuro problems as that is what my unit specializes in but I totally get where you are coming from.  I have had 2 losses already, and I too live by the PgAL mantra of 'today I am pregnant and we love this baby'.  I've realized that's all I can do
  • Thanks for your post! It does really help reading everyone's input! And puts the worry a little at ease!
  • I am a NICU nurse so I totally understand.  I think the scariest ones for me are the ones who had totally normal pregnancies then something happens and the baby is super sick.  The hard part is we only see the sick or premature babies.  I need to remind myself that there are tons of babies born that we never see in the unit. 


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