3rd Trimester

Co-workers all gave me the cold shoulder

In the past 2 years including mine there has been 5 office pregnancies. I have a scheduled C-section on Monday the 15th. Two of the co-workers were moms and two were dads. Everyone was given an office gift chipped in on by the entire office to say congrats on your new baby except me. The last one to receive this office gift was less than a month ago. Since last Friday I have been really upset about it. I don't want to feel entitled to gifts but some "congrats we are happy for you" even, I feel two inches tall. Out of all the employees that have had baby's in the past 2 years I have been there the longest. I am not looking for special treatment but I thought at least equal treatment was warranted. To be honest it has made the last two weeks of work emotionally straining and I dread going in now. I am even fantasizing about not returning, If I could afford to stay home I totally would at this point. I feel so.....just hurt I guess. Am I over-reacting b/c of hormones or does this seem a little a messed up.

Re: Co-workers all gave me the cold shoulder

  • Personally, my feelings would be hurt! How hard is it to remember to get you a little something? Especially when the last person to receive a gift was less than a month ago. I'm sorry you had to go through this!
    ~ Mrs. G
  • When is your last day before your c-section supposed to be? Are you sure they don't have a gift planned and just haven't given it yet?

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  • well.....it may be that they think last month is still fresh in your mind and they want to surprise you by waiting longer for your party day....

    even though my department was relatively small, one of my co-workers and I got married the same day...they threw me a surprise shower much later than they threw hers (they knew I don't really care about that stuff, though)

    I don't know when you are due but they might just be waiting until a slow day  or for the before- holiday -potluck...

     

  • image AimeeL85:
    When is your last day before your c-section supposed to be? Are you sure they don't have a gift planned and just haven't given it yet?

    ditto this!

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  • It is messed up but you need to feel better than them. You have to think they are just jealous or there's some other reason why they can't take a minute out of their day to congratulate a woman who has gone through a lot to bring a child into this world. You just have to keep in mind what's important and it's not the people that you work with, it's your family and the baby that you have created. Walk into work with your shoulders held high and let them know that you don't need anything from them, that you have everything to make you happy and you're about to have a new baby and you don't need their words to make you happy. If someone's trying to get to you, the one thing that makes them most happy is seeing that they have. So do the opposite. Good luck! 
  • Usually they would gather the money the Friday after pay day which was last Friday. My last day is this Friday if I make it to then. We don't get paid again until the following week. Plus I am working 1/2 days this last week just to train my temp. Sadly I wish there was some hope they were trying to be secretive but I don't think so truthfully. They also do it for wedding gifts and they did one last Friday for the guy who is out this week on his honeymoon.
  • That's sucky and I'm sorry. Sometimes coworkers can be d-bags, and there's no reason for it. I'm sorry they did that to you, but focus on the fact that you're going to be giving birth and hanging out with your LO and that's much more precious and important than their gift anyway. 
  • I'd be willing to bet that they are planning something for this friday.  They probably DID collect for a gift last week & are going to surprise you on your last day.  

    If they don't, they shame on them.  And in any case, I am sorry you are down about it.  Try to stay hopeful & positive though!  On monday you get to meet your baby & that's a good thing to focus on!!  :)

     
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  • they could be waiting until Friday to give you your gift..
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  • image Breerene:
    Usually they would gather the money the Friday after pay day which was last Friday. My last day is this Friday if I make it to then. We don't get paid again until the following week. Plus I am working 1/2 days this last week just to train my temp. Sadly I wish there was some hope they were trying to be secretive but I don't think so truthfully. They also do it for wedding gifts and they did one last Friday for the guy who is out this week on his honeymoon.

    Maybe they are waiting until this week because they did the wedding one last week (which they obviously had to b/c he is on his honeymoon now). It would have been weird to do both last week don't you think? Anyway, if they aren't doing it, I would be hurt too. However, it really isn't the end of the world. It is just work people. It's not like your real family or friends are forsaking you. Gotta keep it all in perspective.  

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image My Pumpkin
  • Well, I certainly understand feeling hurt about the whole thing, but you did say that they did something last week for a guy who got married, right?  And I hate to even ask, but the other people who have had babies recently - was it their first or a subsequent pregnancy?  Maybe that has something to do with it?  In the meantime, since you're only working 1/2 days, I would try to not let it bother me too much.  Not that I would want this to be the reason I left, but maybe when you head back into the workforce, perhaps start looking for another job if this is just one more in a list of things that make you unhappy there?

    I work in a really small office and all of the ladies from work were at my shower.  I don't expect anything besides the personal gifts I've already received.  If anything, the company might send me flowers or something in the hospital, but the company is in such dire straits right now financially, I'm not even expecting that at this point!

  • You are completely validated in feeling hurt, however you still have some time so maybe they are planning something or you on your last day? Let's hope so...they better!

    I'm sorry  you have to experience this sillyness from co-workers.

  • image dasaher:

    Well, I certainly understand feeling hurt about the whole thing, but you did say that they did something last week for a guy who got married, right?  And I hate to even ask, but the other people who have had babies recently - was it their first or a subsequent pregnancy?  Maybe that has something to do with it?  In the meantime, since you're only working 1/2 days, I would try to not let it bother me too much.  Not that I would want this to be the reason I left, but maybe when you head back into the workforce, perhaps start looking for another job if this is just one more in a list of things that make you unhappy there?

    I work in a really small office and all of the ladies from work were at my shower.  I don't expect anything besides the personal gifts I've already received.  If anything, the company might send me flowers or something in the hospital, but the company is in such dire straits right now financially, I'm not even expecting that at this point!

    And I'm sorry - I thought I read in there somewhere that this was your second baby...So not only are my hormones all over the place, but so is my eyesight and/or memory!  Oy!  Anyway, yes, I would feel hurt!

  • Actually maybe you read it in another post this is my 2nd child but the 1st person of the 5 pregnancies was also having baby #2. And my son is 9 yrs old it's not like we kept anything from when he was born that wasn't purely sentimental. Thank you all for responding tho it gave me a little more perspective at least :-)
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