Some of you may remember I had issues with my mom back in late July. She lives 14hrs away, and was insisting she would stay in-house with us for 5 days right after the baby arrived, when DH would be on his very short paternity leave. I asked her to either stay in a hotel and visit if she came immediately after birth, or wait 1wk until DH returned to work when I could really use the help, and I asked her to just confirm which she would do. She basically threw a tantrum about how I was excluding her; and never responded. Instead of coming to my baby shower that month, she drove up here, left gifts with my brother to deliver, then returned home without a word to DH and I. When I gave birth, my dad called her with updates about when I went in and then when I delivered; no response from her. 3 days after I gave birth, she and stepfather unfriended me on FB, and her husband posted on his account how I had excluded her from the shower and the birth; that other people were at the hospital to meet DS and they weren't allowed (?!?) and it was so hurtful. Haven't heard a word since. She's never asked about how my delivery went, how the first few weeks went, getting back to work, etc. Today she emailed that she doesn't understand the silence, but she'll be in the area Dec 3-5 and would like to 'finally meet her grandson' and would like a reply soon.
I honestly cringe at the idea of meeting with her when she doesn't have any understanding of how hurtful she's been to us, and the tone of her email suggests she is still completely focused on how she's the victim here. She's had a history of creating family drama my whole life, and this time I'm simply at the center of it with my child as the emotional bait. And DH is furious, but supports me whatever I decide. Would you do the meeting? And if yes, under what terms?