Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Visitors in Hospital - Poll

In a PP someone mentioned that they were upset with relatives for not having visited in the hospital.  I personally hated the hospital visitors.  I just wanted time for c-section to heal, to learn to BF and for DH and I to bond with the baby.  I ended up crying in the bathroom completely exhausted after we had 10+ visitors in my room from 8am to 8pm every single day.  DD was born between xmas and New Years, so everyone had vacation days and thought that they should just hang out for hours.   I promised myself I would NEVER EVER visit anyone in the hospital ever again (except my sister), because I don't want to inflict that kind of suffering.  Maybe if my birth had been easier. 

So, that got me wondering........

[Poll]


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Re: Visitors in Hospital - Poll

  • I voted other. Initially I said I didn't want anyone, but I was lonely. We also had no family or close friends near by. My mom actually booked a flight from Tampa to Pensacola at 11pm when I went into the hospital and made it to the hospital the next morning. She was too late to see LO being born. I remember back on the tri boards and 0-3 being really annoyed when people would complain about family visiting and trying to help, when I would've given anything to have family or friends be close enough to show up with some flowers, a dinner or just to say hi.
  • I had a really long labor of 52 hours, I checked in to the hospital around 15 hours in to it.  All of my husbands family (he has a big family) came to visit during the labor, expecting it to not take as long as it did. They all wanted to be there to welcome DS to the family. I really wished that they would have waited until after I delivered to come visit.  I hated going though the contractions with an audience.  Especially those double and tripple peaking ones I was experiencing before I finally gave in and got an epidural (about 30 hours into labor).
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  • I think after delivery is ok but I was angry when people showed up during labor.
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  • I wanted visitors, but hardly anyone could come b/c of the strict visiting policy due to the H1N1 outbreak.  I was disapointed.
  • I really liked having visitors. BUT... I wish they would've waited until the next day. Ryan was born at 4:04pm and we had visitors all that evening. I was recovering from a horrible emergency c/s experience and just wanted some time to learn to BF and bond with my baby!

    Lauren has Down syndrome and a complete AV canal heart defect
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  • I voted for "30 minute time limit". While I loved showing off Cam, I was exhausted. Everyone would crowd into the little room and just sit there. I felt trapped and just needed to relax and heal. Our hospital supposedly had a "very strict" limited visitor policy but no one ever enforced it. I just wish one of the nurses would have said "ok, folks, clear out so the new family can rest!". I didn't want to seem ungrateful to our family and friends but everyone needs a break.
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  • Other.  All are welcome once I've given the all clear for visitors.  SO P.I.S.S.E.D. that my parents ignored what I asked them to do 100 times and came to the hospital before I invited them.  Not only was I screaming for 4 hours straight, but I knew they could hear me, it was a nightmare.  I will never forgive them for that, and the next time I have a baby they won't get to find out I'm in labor till after the baby is born.

     

  • I voted no visitors at all.  I was actually really glad that we had no family close by, so we had no visitors.  Those 2 days in the hospital gave us time to learn A LOT of things, especially BF.  I was BF my LO most of the time, so I would have hated any visitor interrupting or distracting.
  • image Daisy582:
    I voted for "30 minute time limit". While I loved showing off Cam, I was exhausted. Everyone would crowd into the little room and just sit there. I felt trapped and just needed to relax and heal. Our hospital supposedly had a "very strict" limited visitor policy but no one ever enforced it. I just wish one of the nurses would have said "ok, folks, clear out so the new family can rest!". I didn't want to seem ungrateful to our family and friends but everyone needs a break.

    We had great nurses that would totally be the bad guys if we wanted them to. At one point I just wanted to pump in peace without my mom in there telling me what to do, touching me, etc... so I told the nurse "Do not let my mom in here, please!!" They were awesome about it, but laughed when I let my dad in.

    Lauren has Down syndrome and a complete AV canal heart defect
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    [url]WWW.MeetingLauren.blogspot.com[/url]
  • I felt the same as you.

    I enjoyed seeing everyone so happy and excited, but it was WAY too much- and everyone came at the same time and I honestly don't know how I didn't lose it.

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  • I think it depends on the kind of birth you had. I had an easy, breezy delivery so I felt great and was up for company. I think I would have been bored if people hadn't of stopped by. But if I had a difficult delivery, I imagine I would probably feel different about it. However, I don't like company once we're home. Wait for me to invite you once we leave the hospital!

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  • image goldenleaves:

    We had great nurses that would totally be the bad guys if we wanted them to.

    We had an awesome nurse who would do this for us.  Unfortunately she did it when my mom and sisters were there, who I actually wanted to see.  They just happened to be there after a full day of visitors coming in and out.  I still really appreciated the nurse looking out for me.

    I liked close family being there, but anyone else can wait until we're settled at home.  Also if someone decided not to visit in the hospital for whatever reason, I wouldn't hold it against them.  There's so much going on, I probably wouldn't even notice.  Plus some people have qualms about hospitals or don't want to intrude.

    Baby Boy #1 born 1/15/2010

    Babies #2 & #3 arriving Spring 2014 (EDD June 18)

  • Immediate family only.

     

    Every time I stoop up, I had blood gush out. The result was I never got out of bed when we had company(which was constant). It also stressed me out as a new BFer to have to try to plan around my guests or to kick them out so I could BF.

  • I voted other -- we live 800+ miles from family, so the only family visitors that we had were my parents, and even they didn't arrive until the day after DS was born. We do have many close friends nearby, though, and we happily welcomed them for short visits. I was a nurse working in the hospital where I delivered, so I had several of my close co-workers stop in to see me before/after their shifts. But I wouldn't want a steady stream of people coming and staying for hours at a time, either.

     

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  • The day of the surgery and day after I wanted everyone to leave me alone. But after that I didn't mind visitors in the evening for a little bit and only close friends and family.
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  • I got so lucky with this issue. I had no problem with people coming to the hospital after LO was born, but his family wanted to come while I was in labor. I ended up in the hospital for 2 days before my induction got started so only my mom came on the first day to check things out. I had DD in the middle of a work day so no one other than my mom could make it, then the day after we woke up to 26 inches of snow. So I got time to rest & figure out what I was doing without any interference.
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  • I wanted close family int he hospital, and nobody for a few weeks afterward (I had a BAD c-section recovery and wasn't up for visitors for a while). Of course my in-laws came to our house when all I wanted was to die. Hmph.
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  • I voted for 30 minutes. I was cool with visitors.  What sort of made me uncomfortable was my dad showing up during my induction.  Ummmmmmmmm...what do you want kind sir?  LOL.  We didn't have many visitors and I was okay with that. 
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  • All the visitors I had were family, which I thought was great. The problem was that they stayed way too long. I was just learning to BF, and kicking my grandpa out when Nick was hungry was not fun. I didn't mind BFing in front of my female family, but it's nerve racking when you're just learning and they're telling you how you should or shouldn't do it. 30 min is a good amount of time for someone to be visiting.
  • I was pretty fine with the amount I had.  I didn't have anyone come during labor because I told DH that I didn't want anyone other than immediate family to know until after the baby was born so that no one would just show up.  (There were some people that clearly don't care about personal boundaries that even after I made my wishes known about visitors not coming till after he was born, said they would show up anyway, so I felt we had to keep it secret.  People are stupid.)

    I told DH that the first day I wanted Grandparents and his brother, SIL etc to be the first to visit before anyone else.  That was what happened until late that night when aforementioned boundriless person came, which at that point I didn't care much b/c the people that were supposed to meet him first did.

    Then the next days I had probably about 3 visitors a day or so.  It wasn't a constant party in my room, I had enough time to rest etc.  Plus my c-sec recovery went really well from the start so that part of it didn't bother me.

  • I voted other. I was happy to have people after having DD, but when I had a stroke this summer, I really didn't want people around all the time, but there were times when I was up for it. I really appreciated the people who called first because then I could let them know how I was feeling. So my vote is visitors okay if they call first prior to showing up.
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    AngelSmitty: This reminds me of something my college Human Sexuality professor used to say in class.  "Sex is between the legs.  Gender is between the ears."
  • I voted close family. Before dd1, i didn't think I wanted anyone in the room other than nurse/drs and dh until afterwards. My labor with dd1 was really really long. I was happy when my parents came by and gave dh a break. He hadn't slept, ate, showered since we got to the hospital. My mom stayed with me and rubbed my back and head while the boys went out to eat.

    After baby, I was fine with short visits from close friends and family. The hospital had a strict visitiing hours period of 4 hours, but no one really stayed longer than half an hour except my sister who brought my 2 yr old. They stayed for a while, but it was really for dd1. She needed her mommy.

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  • We were told mixed information. My nurse said there weren't to be anthing except parents and grand parents due to H1N1. But the hospital security was telling us that wasn't the case. So we had few vistors and I was there being induced for 3 days and recpvering for 1. Four days of isolation almost. And yet when it came time to deliver the only time DD moved was when I laughed or coughed. So having some there once in a while would have been better.
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