Nurse made me cry [long vent]

It was a new nurse yesterday.  We didn't get along.  She lectured me about every thing i did.  I came in at 8:45 like i do every day expecting to be able to put him to breast for the first time before his 9:00 feeding.  She started feeding him while i was washing my hands.  When i said hey wait,  she railed me with how inconvenient it was for her that no one told her i was going to be there a 9:00 even though she saw me before she started feeding him.  She decided that i could just drive the 2 hours back when it was more convenient for her, never mind i had to pick up DS1 from kindergarten. 

She then dumped the full 34cc of BM into his tiny belly.  He really struggles with reflux causing lots of bradys and desats.  Normally the nurses put his feeds on a pump over 30 min. and he does much better.  The NP told me to put him to breast anyway but don't expect anything.  Then this awful nurse tells me to wait an hour so she can feed this other baby that isn't due for feed for another half hour.  All she has to do is get me a frickin chair!  I went and got my own chair, but by this time his spo2 is all over the place.  I can usually calm his reflux some with some upright kangaroo so i took him out and got him more stable.

Then I tried putting him to breast.  He was indifferent as expected but i had filled up again by this point. (i had specifically pumped in the car on my way to the hospital so i would be empty for him)  i think he got more milk than he was ready for and this aggravated his reflux.  

I positioned him so his airway would be open to help the desat pass.  At that moment as his color is just starting to return, the nurse comes over and has the nerve to tell me that i either need to wrap him up or hold him close so he won't get cold. DUH! Where were you when all the alarms were going off and his sats were in the tank?!

His sats were still unstable for a little bit from the reflux (i could hear his poor tummy) but i finally got him calmed down.  The nurse comes back over and tells me that i'm going to have to put him back because "clearly he can't handle you holding him".  i wanted to scream.

I routinely change his diaper when i return him to his isolette and this time he wouldn't stop pooping. (god help me, i found this adorable).  She wouldn't let him be to finish the task and smeared poop all over his back side.  When i tried to clean up her mess she lectured me on lifting his legs up because i would cause a brain hemorage.  More internal screaming.  As if i haven't been with him, changing his diaper every day for over a month.

I left for lunch and burst into tears.

When i got back i was clearly upset to find her flash dumping another feeding into his belly.   She decided to tell him a story about her niece that was in the nicu "for a whole 3 weeks" and how hard that was on her parents.  I just needed to be patient and not so greedy.   "Look at the F**king chart B*TCH.  He's been here for 5 weeks!  And he has handled kangaroo superbly since we started it every day but today, the day you decide to ignore his massive and well documented reflux!"

I am now not allowed to put him to breast for another week because she told the NP and attending that he can't handle it.

Sorry.  That was long.  Vent over. 

Re: Nurse made me cry [long vent]

  • ((hugs)) we had a bad experience with a new nurse last night too
    Thing 1 = April 2008, 38weeks 8lbs 7oz 19in
    Thing 2 = May 2009, Stillborn 33weeks 4lbs 9oz 18in
    Thing 3 = October 2010, 27weeks 4days 2lbs 4oz 14.25in

  • I would tell the NP and the attending that you can't handle HER. It's your kid - you have a right to choose who can and cannot give him care. What a biotch.
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  • I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. It's hard enough to have a kid in the NICU without having idiots taking care of them.
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  • I can't even imagine... Sad I'm so sorry she wouldn't just leave you to take care your own baby. Hopefully, she isn't assigned to him again.

    "I wanted you more than you'll ever know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go."

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  • ((Hugs))) I remember a bad night with a new nurse - I complained and we didn't have her again!
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  • I am so sorry please complain I had too when my son was in the NICU and I hated being difficult but I had to put my baby first. It was so so so nice to never have to deal with her again :)
  • I'm sorry you had to deal with that!  I agree with the PPs - you should definitely complain.  The nurses told us that we absolutely should let them know if we didn't like any of the nurses (even if it was them!) - your baby  comes first!  =) 
    Our little peanut was born at 23w4d Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Wow, that nurse's behavior was COMPLETELY unacceptable and unprofessional. I would be reporting her to the head nurse, reporting her to the head of the NICU and demanding that she never be within 10 feet of my child ever again! If she isn't thorough enough to read his chart before caring for him, then she should not be working in the NICU, or with patients in general, for that matter.

    I am so sorry that you had to deal with someone like that today...the NICU experience is stressful enough without someone who is supposed to be helping making it worse. ((hugs))

    Corrine Reese (3-5-10) and Gavin Lucas (7-11-13)
    Sibling Love...
  • Um yeah, I would have killed her. 

    SPEAK UP!  You know your baby better than anyone else no matter how long they spend with him.  I would cringe when I heard it was a new nurse.  I had one ask me if DS cord had fallen off yet (He was 13 weeks old and had had umbilical lines at birth).  The charge nurse finally made it so we only had NICU nurses and not nurses from other units pulled to cover even when DS was a feeder grower.

  • I'm so sorry you went through this. A nurse can really make or break the day. We've had a couple run ins with bad/lazy nurses. I would definitley talk to the charge nurse and let them know you don't want to have her assigned to her your baby again. She sounds like a total a-hole. Hang in there girl.

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  • ((hugs)) I'm so sorry to hear this.  Please talk to the head nurse and ask that this nurse not be allowed to care for him again.  We had a similar experience and I simply told the head nurse that I wasn't comfortable with the nurse and she didn't care for DS for the rest of his NICU stay, no questions asked and no hard feelings. 
  • Oh my God, I am so, so sorry!!! She really takes the cake for b*tch nurse of the year. If I were you, I would talk to the NP and attending and tell them what happened. Or perhaps, write a letter and also include the charge nurse. I suggest a letter because for me I get flustered when I speak and I would also be afraid of them cutting me off and not hearing everything I say. Oh oops I just remembered there is a follow-up to this, perhaps I should have waited to post a reply. But gees, I feel so bad for you!! Hang in there and don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and your LO!
    Claire Zoe, 10.26.10


    Brady Phoenix, 8.29.09


    Abigail Noelle, 8.29.09

  • Wow...sorry you had to experience that!  As pp's have stated - don't be afraid to stand up for you and your baby - talk to the head nurse, and firmly request that that nurse not be allowed on your baby's rotation!  There's no need to add that kind of extra tension to what's already a stressful situation!


  • Sorry to barge in, my son was in the NICU for 3 weeks. I had gone to dinner one night with another NICU mommy and when I came back there was a nurse I had never met before. She had my son swaddled and feeding him. I had spent the previous two weeks getting him to take his meals unclothed. It was the only way to get him to stay awake. No one passed on this vital piece of information and I was terrified we'd have to start all over again. I couldn't help myself and yelled at her after she mentioned my son wouldn't eat.

    We didn't have that nurse again.

    Complain! The only voice your baby has is yours. You clearly know your son better than she does. Explain to the NP about the nurse dumping his feedings instead of setting them on a steady drip for him to tolerate better. You also don't need some crabby nurse hollering at you. Unacceptable. I hope this is resolved for you.

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