It was a new nurse yesterday. We didn't get along. She lectured me about every thing i did. I came in at 8:45 like i do every day expecting to be able to put him to breast for the first time before his 9:00 feeding. She started feeding him while i was washing my hands. When i said hey wait, she railed me with how inconvenient it was for her that no one told her i was going to be there a 9:00 even though she saw me before she started feeding him. She decided that i could just drive the 2 hours back when it was more convenient for her, never mind i had to pick up DS1 from kindergarten.
She then dumped the full 34cc of BM into his tiny belly. He really struggles with reflux causing lots of bradys and desats. Normally the nurses put his feeds on a pump over 30 min. and he does much better. The NP told me to put him to breast anyway but don't expect anything. Then this awful nurse tells me to wait an hour so she can feed this other baby that isn't due for feed for another half hour. All she has to do is get me a frickin chair! I went and got my own chair, but by this time his spo2 is all over the place. I can usually calm his reflux some with some upright kangaroo so i took him out and got him more stable.
Then I tried putting him to breast. He was indifferent as expected but i had filled up again by this point. (i had specifically pumped in the car on my way to the hospital so i would be empty for him) i think he got more milk than he was ready for and this aggravated his reflux.
I positioned him so his airway would be open to help the desat pass. At that moment as his color is just starting to return, the nurse comes over and has the nerve to tell me that i either need to wrap him up or hold him close so he won't get cold. DUH! Where were you when all the alarms were going off and his sats were in the tank?!
His sats were still unstable for a little bit from the reflux (i could hear his poor tummy) but i finally got him calmed down. The nurse comes back over and tells me that i'm going to have to put him back because "clearly he can't handle you holding him". i wanted to scream.
I routinely change his diaper when i return him to his isolette and this time he wouldn't stop pooping. (god help me, i found this adorable). She wouldn't let him be to finish the task and smeared poop all over his back side. When i tried to clean up her mess she lectured me on lifting his legs up because i would cause a brain hemorage. More internal screaming. As if i haven't been with him, changing his diaper every day for over a month.
I left for lunch and burst into tears.
When i got back i was clearly upset to find her flash dumping another feeding into his belly. She decided to tell him a story about her niece that was in the nicu "for a whole 3 weeks" and how hard that was on her parents. I just needed to be patient and not so greedy. "Look at the F**king chart B*TCH. He's been here for 5 weeks! And he has handled kangaroo superbly since we started it every day but today, the day you decide to ignore his massive and well documented reflux!"
I am now not allowed to put him to breast for another week because she told the NP and attending that he can't handle it.
Sorry. That was long. Vent over.