My husband was deployed almost my entire pregnancy, and I'll say I was so glad I didn't have to have sex for the first 2 trimesters, but by the third, I was ready! Haha
Really hate to make you scared, but get used to the 0 sex drive. I'm almost 32 weeks right now and at about 8 weeks in, my sex drive went down the tubes and stayed there! The best advice I can give is to really try and keep having sex on some sort of regular basis for your man. I had a couple of weeks straight of the 'don't touch me's' and poor DH really took it hard. He barely even tries now. It may be the LAST thing on your mind, but it really is better for the relationship to give it the old college try...or at least try to keep things going in other ways (if you catch my drift). Don't totally freak though! Some of my friends went through the yo-yo's of constantly wanting it to not wanting it at all...My yo yo just happened to only go down
I guess I just don't really understand the way so many seem to handle this. My husband and I talked about it pretty early on because my libido began dropping, and it eventually became painful for me even after the sickness was gone. We tried a few times but, when it just wasn't working because it was too painful for me or because me not getting into it meant he couldn't really get into it, we stopped.
Instead, I help him. I do other things to help him get his, and it makes me feel good because I know I am helping him through it without having to force myself to do something I really do not want to do. He doesn't want me to force myself to do it, either. He's content with me helping him for now, knowing that after that grace period we have to wait through, we'll be back to our usual selves, and making up for lost time...
I am 36 weeks pregnant and for the last 3+ months I have had more sex dive than DH! He "takes one for the team".Makes me feel worse about my slef image. I am huge and I feel like DH is not attracted to me. I have heard "I have a headach" more times than I can count lol. So there may be hope.
OMG, this is SO awesome to read! When I saw the title I was like... what?! Then I read it and was SO glad to read the other responses. This is our first so I had no idea what to expect (except that while TTC we were on an every-other-day basis and now he's lucky if it's once every two weeks!) but the nausea is pretty much what keeps me from initiating anything (oh yea, and the 0 libido!). DH seems pretty understanding so far... and I try to "take one for the team" every week or two (we also have the KY closeby!) I keep waiting for that "amazing pregnant sex" to happen that everyone keeps promising will happen! So far I'm not impressed...
I made the mistake of telling him that I read that after the first trimester it seems like a lot of women go into libido overdrive so I think he's just counting on that. I hope that's the case with me!
I understand how you feel. I am 8 months pregnant and my husband and I actually have had sex twice since I became pregnant. I was so sick the first 4 months and now I just don't feel like it because either I still don't feel that good to do anything or I am dizzy, but my husband understands and even says (although we know we cannot hurt the baby) we can wait it's not that important just as long as you feel okay and the baby is okay. He is the sweetest. So you shouldn't feel bad not everyones sex drive is through the roof I know mine isn't lol.
thank god its not just me!!!! We've had sex twice since we found out - and both times were because i felt so bad for him, we're nerwly weds so it's been really hard on both of us given before we fell pregnant it was close to every night i hope now i'm over the morning sickness things will pick up!!!
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IDK know y but for some reason it seems like I am the only one who didnt lose my sex drive. IDK if its age or "my husband is just that good". I had my baby Sept 15. We had sex practically everyday of my pregnancy and i am 18 yrs old. The only thing i had trouble with was if we went to long I would get really dry and it would hurt ALOT (but its not like I could tell him to stop) but other than that I idnt have a problem. I think the thought of me already being pregnant and not being able to get pregnant again (as redundant that may sound) inspired us to have more sex cause that meant we didnt need to use protection, and u guys know how much men LOVE not using condoms. So the freedom of being able to do it whenever we wanted without worry really made us have sex alot, at least once a day. So look at it from the positive side girls! I hope this helps!!!!
My wife got "KU" while we were engaged (we'd only done the deed a few times, and it was our first time "trying".....we weren't sure how easy itd be...haha)
We had sex I think once, after the "+", but by the first doc visit, she was pretty nauseous all the time. The twins kept her that way til well into the 2nd trimester (It got bad enough to were her boss, a female, told her not to come to work, no penalties) so yeah......we didnt really have sex until about 18wks, which was two weeks before our wedding.....and then the weeked of the wedding, the twins started being nice to Mommy, and so it was a month of "fun", then I deployed, got...hurt....about a month in, spent a few weeks in Germany, and at 32wks (interesting experience) we had our last round, cause they were born a week and a half later.
Husbands/SOs should be very understanding, cause we got you all into this (amazing) mess. We just took it as an opportunity to hang out and build our relationship in non-sex-included ways. We just focused on keeping her and the babies healthy (also had a nice "little" wedding to distract us), and we were so tired most of the time we didnt even think about it.
I'm still confused how guys can get grossed out by their pregnant wife when they love the wife and the baby seperately....(just pretend to follow that train of thought). I think its the coolest thing, though being kicked by my wife's belly is definitely a weird experience . After the twins were born, things have definitely improved in the sex department (though it did fizzle out a bit after a false alarm when they were 7mo). We do still go through phases, no sex for a few weeks, but we always make a strong comeback. Its just a matter of having those other things in your relationship that you can cling onto when someones sex drive is in the toilet.... because its going to be alright again!
We haven't had sex since my bfp on nov 1st. It's not that I don't want to, he just tries at bad times and seems to always be at work when I DO want to. It's been 9 days and I don't miss it at all. Lol
Sorry to say, ladies, but it doesn't get much better postpartum! My daughter is almost 11 months old and my sex drive still isn't all that huge. Not that I was ever super horny, but - especially with breastfeeding - there's not much libido left at the moment.
i am having the opposite problem. i want to have sex and i want my DF to be after me and what not. He just doesnt seem to want to have sex. since getting BFP, we continued to have sex at least once a week then it became once every two weeks. Now that my belly is very noticeable its been a month since we've had sex and its killing me that he doesnt want to. granted he was very sick for 2 weeks after the last time we had sex, but he hasn't even gotten near me. no inappropriate hugs or touches like he used to just to show that he is still interested. its making me feel sad and unsexy. My sex drive might be crazy high because i can handle the no sex but i do crave the attention. well i finally brought it up today so hopefully we can talk about it tonight or tomorrow or maybe he will finally make a move.
i was like this on and off threw my whole pregnancy but i guess it makes up for the fact that at like 6 mos or so he refused to have sex with me last pregnancy beacuse "it was just weird" lol but it just makes after pregnancy sex all the better!
I gave it up on Sunday, and the whole time he was like "Is this good for you?" and I'm like "This has nothing to do with me." Bless his heart.
LMAO
I had a trooper, thankfully, cause I was pissed I was pregnant (yeah..). I think we had sex 4 times the ENTIRE pregnancy, and it hurt so bad every time we'd have to stop. I had PPD so we had sex twice from birth until 8 months.
I had pity sex almost everyday through out my pregnancy, and hated it.... we were newlyweds and I felt so bad for my DH that we had just tied the knot and no longer doing it as often as before. But at times it was painful and other times I ended up enjoying it after he'd rope me into doing it. So keep your chin up hopefully your libido will kick back in as you get further along and the nausea subsides.
I have pity sex at least once a week or every other week. By the time i get home from work i have to either run to a meeting or a doc apt or clean the house that by the time he gets in the mood i am just to tired or to sick to want to even try. He wants to everyday but i just can't do pity sex that often. I think about once every week or two is all i can do for him. I love him but i am just never and i mean NEVER in the mood i am just happy to see that i am not the only one!!!
I gave it up on Sunday, and the whole time he was like "Is this good for you?" and I'm like "This has nothing to do with me." Bless his heart.
Haha, this is me totally, he tries so hard for it to be enjoyable for me, but I don't think anything short of a stunt double could make it better for me. But I try to "take one for the team" about once a week. Last time he said, "it's been over a week" and I responded "no way! It's been like 2 days!" He was right it was almost 2 weeks, but it sure coulda been yesterday to me!
.Sothis is my second pregnancy. My first one I only gained 7 pounds the entiretime. I hated the idea of sex. We probably had it a handful of times and evenafter, it did not interest me.
NowI am pregnant with twins and I can't get enough. Problem is, I am huge. ThoughI have actually not gained any weight (lost 14 pounds when I was first pregnantand have just now gained it all back), I am huge. I so desperately want to havesex all the time, but don't want to put my hubby thru the process of doing itwith a whale. Not to mention, we don't exactly fit together like we use to. ;)I have two more months to go and hate to think my hubby will have hold out thatlong. I'm sure I will throw him a couple more this month, but as turned on as Iam, I am very self conscious and it affects my mood during the act. Good luckladies! It is very common and it sounds like most of you have understandinghubbies.
Zero sex here too.NO libido. The idea of sex is actually a turn off! A back rub is more appealing to me. We haven't had sex in weeks, though I have done things to the hubby, just not intercourse.
So glad I'm not the only one either. Im actually 20 weeks and the 2nd trimester peek of libido has yet to hit. Its quite sad, I've "taken one for the team" a few times now because I got tired of hearing him talk about how I "should have the urge now" according to his pregnancy book for men.....written by a MAN! Hopefully it peaks up soon, but know you are not the only one with lack of interest! :-)
UGH! I remember feeling the same way when I was pregnant. My fiance kept wanting to but then after a while he just gave up. Kinda surprised him when I was "back into the swing of things" around the 14-15 week mark! Hang in there!
I am right there with you poor DH had only had sex once since BFP so I caved and gave in today during nap time. Its about the only time of the day I feel like doing anything which is sad but at least he was happy. The sad part was I was always the one to initiate sex and now I have no interest and he is confused by it.
Re: Had pity sex last night.
My husband was deployed almost my entire pregnancy, and I'll say I was so glad I didn't have to have sex for the first 2 trimesters, but by the third, I was ready! Haha
I guess I just don't really understand the way so many seem to handle this. My husband and I talked about it pretty early on because my libido began dropping, and it eventually became painful for me even after the sickness was gone. We tried a few times but, when it just wasn't working because it was too painful for me or because me not getting into it meant he couldn't really get into it, we stopped.
Instead, I help him. I do other things to help him get his, and it makes me feel good because I know I am helping him through it without having to force myself to do something I really do not want to do. He doesn't want me to force myself to do it, either. He's content with me helping him for now, knowing that after that grace period we have to wait through, we'll be back to our usual selves, and making up for lost time...
OMG, this is SO awesome to read! When I saw the title I was like... what?! Then I read it and was SO glad to read the other responses. This is our first so I had no idea what to expect (except that while TTC we were on an every-other-day basis and now he's lucky if it's once every two weeks!) but the nausea is pretty much what keeps me from initiating anything (oh yea, and the 0 libido!). DH seems pretty understanding so far... and I try to "take one for the team" every week or two (we also have the KY closeby!) I keep waiting for that "amazing pregnant sex" to happen that everyone keeps promising will happen! So far I'm not impressed...
I made the mistake of telling him that I read that after the first trimester it seems like a lot of women go into libido overdrive so I think he's just counting on that. I hope that's the case with me!
thank god its not just me!!!! We've had sex twice since we found out - and both times were because i felt so bad for him, we're nerwly weds so it's been really hard on both of us given before we fell pregnant it was close to every night
i hope now i'm over the morning sickness things will pick up!!!
IDK know y but for some reason it seems like I am the only one who didnt lose my sex drive. IDK if its age or "my husband is just that good". I had my baby Sept 15. We had sex practically everyday of my pregnancy and i am 18 yrs old. The only thing i had trouble with was if we went to long I would get really dry and it would hurt ALOT (but its not like I could tell him to stop) but other than that I idnt have a problem. I think the thought of me already being pregnant and not being able to get pregnant again (as redundant that may sound) inspired us to have more sex cause that meant we didnt need to use protection, and u guys know how much men LOVE not using condoms. So the freedom of being able to do it whenever we wanted without worry really made us have sex alot, at least once a day. So look at it from the positive side girls! I hope this helps!!!!
xoxox Genny
My wife got "KU" while we were engaged (we'd only done the deed a few times, and it was our first time "trying".....we weren't sure how easy itd be...haha)
We had sex I think once, after the "+", but by the first doc visit, she was pretty nauseous all the time. The twins kept her that way til well into the 2nd trimester (It got bad enough to were her boss, a female, told her not to come to work, no penalties) so yeah......we didnt really have sex until about 18wks, which was two weeks before our wedding.....and then the weeked of the wedding, the twins started being nice to Mommy, and so it was a month of "fun", then I deployed, got...hurt....about a month in, spent a few weeks in Germany, and at 32wks (interesting experience) we had our last round, cause they were born a week and a half later.
Husbands/SOs should be very understanding, cause we got you all into this (amazing) mess. We just took it as an opportunity to hang out and build our relationship in non-sex-included ways. We just focused on keeping her and the babies healthy (also had a nice "little" wedding to distract us), and we were so tired most of the time we didnt even think about it.
I'm still confused how guys can get grossed out by their pregnant wife when they love the wife and the baby seperately....(just pretend to follow that train of thought). I think its the coolest thing, though being kicked by my wife's belly is definitely a weird experience
. After the twins were born, things have definitely improved in the sex department (though it did fizzle out a bit after a false alarm when they were 7mo). We do still go through phases, no sex for a few weeks, but we always make a strong comeback. Its just a matter of having those other things in your relationship that you can cling onto when someones sex drive is in the toilet.... because its going to be alright again!
i was like this on and off threw my whole pregnancy but i guess it makes up for the fact that at like 6 mos or so he refused to have sex with me last pregnancy beacuse "it was just weird" lol but it just makes after pregnancy sex all the better!
destiney
destineysdiaperparties.com
LMAO
I had a trooper, thankfully, cause I was pissed I was pregnant (yeah..). I think we had sex 4 times the ENTIRE pregnancy, and it hurt so bad every time we'd have to stop. I had PPD so we had sex twice from birth until 8 months.
Haha, this is me totally, he tries so hard for it to be enjoyable for me, but I don't think anything short of a stunt double could make it better for me. But I try to "take one for the team" about once a week. Last time he said, "it's been over a week" and I responded "no way! It's been like 2 days!" He was right it was almost 2 weeks, but it sure coulda been yesterday to me!
.Sothis is my second pregnancy. My first one I only gained 7 pounds the entiretime. I hated the idea of sex. We probably had it a handful of times and evenafter, it did not interest me.
NowI am pregnant with twins and I can't get enough. Problem is, I am huge. ThoughI have actually not gained any weight (lost 14 pounds when I was first pregnantand have just now gained it all back), I am huge. I so desperately want to havesex all the time, but don't want to put my hubby thru the process of doing itwith a whale. Not to mention, we don't exactly fit together like we use to. ;)I have two more months to go and hate to think my hubby will have hold out thatlong. I'm sure I will throw him a couple more this month, but as turned on as Iam, I am very self conscious and it affects my mood during the act. Good luckladies! It is very common and it sounds like most of you have understandinghubbies.