Blended Families

Question about saving $

I don't post much but I'd really appreciate your feedback on this. I have 2 step sons and a birth daughter. We pay cs for each boy monthly. Sadly we haven't been in a position to save for any of the kids just yet but we are getting there. My question is - do you save equal amounts for your step and birth children? Would you mind sharing your reason(s) either way? TIA

Re: Question about saving $

  • My BF has $25 a week taken out of his check and put into an account that he has opened for his son. Only his son will be able to touch that money once he is 18. When I was pregnant we had talked about doing the same thing for our child/future children. I would have also taken money and put it away from whatever I made.
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  • DH and I contribute the same amount monthly to DS's and DD's 529 accounts.

    ExH (DS's biological father) contributes extra money into DS's account.

    I stay at home with the kids and thus do not draw a salary. All of our money is joint, and we're in the fortunate position to be able to save for both the kids. So we do. 

    DS only sees his biological father a handful of times every year, so he's with us all the time. DH treats him like his own, DS calls him daddy, etc. So I think it would feel weird for us to treat either of the kids differently financially.

    But that's just us.

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  • This is actually one very hot topic in my household.

    When it comes to savings for the children, my DH puts equal amounts of money into two separate savings accounts for his kids. 

    I have put the same amount of money only into my DD's account. 

    First, if something were to happen to both DH and I, SS gets to go back to his mother's.  My DD goes to whomever is her guardian.**  Not only will that person need assistance raising my DD, but college expenses as well.

    Second, my StepKids have a mother who SHOULD and COULD provide for their future as well.  It is not my responsibility to take on their college expenses, when college is not a right but priveledge.  I will continue to put my love, time and money towards their daily well-being.  And I will most definitely put money towards his care while he is IN college, but I am not going to save for it.

    Unfortunately, BM stole the kids inheirtance ($10k each).  She says that it was due to risky investments, which could very well be true.  HOWEVER, this was 7 years ago and she has not put ONE cent towards repaying HER bad decsion (i mean really, you never loose $20k overnight, nor the entire amount..). Or even as a mother just wanting to put money towards her kids future. 

    DH feels that I should make up for her bad behavior.  I feel that HE should hold her accountable.  First, he hasn't even looked at the laws regarding how executors should handle money for minors.  Second, he has not once forced her to pay CS since we got physical custody - if that money had been put aside we would have had $6,000 already. 

    Either way, I only have a finite amount of resources, since I am not working.  I will not shortchange DD's future. 

    **we are changing our guardians, since my Brother just had twins......too much for them right now, but in a couple years we may revisit them.

  • We kinda look at it like Christmas. We don't shortchange my SK's on toys just cause they get gifts at their moms house. We give all the kids the same amount of toys at our house. Period. The same is for money. We save (together) the same amount of money for all the kids. Yes, if my SK's mom is also saving for them, then they will have more money but we don't know what she's doing in her house with her money cause it's none of our business. All we know is that we have 5 kids in our house and we are saving equally for all of them as if we were a biological family.



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