Two Under 2

New to it all!

Hi all. I just recently got out of the Army, am married to a Soldier, and have a 10-month old daughter. My husband just returned from a deployment, and surprise...pregnant again! I'm so overwhelmed by it all!

I feel like I didn't give my daughter enough time for her to an only child. How do you guys deal with stuff like that? Like, I worry she won't feel as loved or special with another baby. How will she understand? She'll only be about 16-months old when the second baby comes...

Re: New to it all!

  • You worry about it while you're pregnant and then once the baby's here you:

    1.  Don't have the time or brain power to worry about it much any more.

    and

    2.  Don't know any different than mothering 2 of them.

     

    It's a very common feeling - guilt, concern, fear, etc but in time it just becomes your norm.

    You'll find the positives instead of the negatives before you know it!

    Instead of "not enough time as an only child" you'll be thinking of things like "a sibling to love her in ways I can't as a mother."

    Instead of "not enough undivided attention from me" you'll be thinking of things like "someone to play and laugh with that's more her peer than I am"

    There will come a point in time where a giggle-fest will seem incomplete without both children participating. 

     

    As for "how will she understand"?  You'll help her thru the initial transition when you bring the baby home and then before long she won't remember life without the baby.

    My oldest has ZERO memories of his life before Jace was in it.  When we look at his baby pictures he's always asking "where's Jace?"

    It's all he knows.  It's his norm.  He loves it! 

    Hang in there... it's just an adjustment! 

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
  • Thanks for the encouraging words! Need 'em lately!
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