Measured perfectly, but no heart beat...

PenguinHill

My husband and I went for our first u/s yesterday.  Our little one measured perfect for our dates, right on at 8 weeks.... but the ultrasound tech didn't find a heart beat.  Our Ob said it's not a good sign, and that something must have JUST happened.  He said to wait and watch for bleeding and cramping, otherwise to go back for another ultrasound next week to look for the heart beat again - but he thinks the odds of finding it then are low.  When he started talking about a D&C, I lost it.

Should we be trying to stay optimistic, or preparing for the worst?  We're just so upset.  Our baby was fine just days ago, but not now?  I know it wouldn't have been easier to have not measured up to our dates, but that our baby is the exact right size without a heart beat just seems to have us in complete denial about what's probably going on.  I hate that I feel like I'm just sitting around waiting for this horrible thing to happen and there's nothing I can do about it.

If anyone else out there was in a similar situation with measuring right on, but didn't find a heart beat, I'd appreciate hearing how you processed the news and where you went from there.  So sorry for everyone's losses.... never could have guessed how hard this is until now.

psychgal

I'm so sorry for your loss. This is exactly what happened to me. I went for an u/s at 9 weeks and the baby measured perfectly but no hearbeat. I had my D&C the next day. The tech was pretty clear that there was no heartbeat and my OB said a D&C was necessary because of the size of the baby. I didn't want to m/c naturally anyway because I figured it would be too physically and emotionally painful. We were devastated. It will be hard these next few months, I won't lie. Take the time to hug your DH and mourn together. Having him with me to help me through this was what got me through. Initially I didn't even want to think about the future. It hurt me to hear people say, "well, at least you know you can get pregnant," and other things like that so I didn't tell anyone for a while. It was too hard to hear others struggle to know what to say.

Again, I'm so sorry. There's not a lot else I can say, except that.

tmhdmh

I'm so sorry to hear this. My t&p are with you.

 

mrs.gee

This is precisely what happened to me.  I saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks and when we went to my OB at 9w1d the embryo measured exactly right but no heartbeat.  My doctor said the heart must have stopped beating that morning. I opted for a D&C and insisted she do another ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis before performing the procedure.  She did, and unfortunately it was true.

I was obviously devastated but a few things helped me along.  First, I have had many many friends go through this after seeing a heartbeat so I almost felt like it was just my turn.  Also, I actually felt lucky that we found out the way we did - had my appointment with the doctor been the day before I would have been blissfully unaware for perhaps weeks that anything was wrong.  I was ultimately glad to know and be able to start moving on.

Best wishes to you, and I'm so sorry for your loss. 

mgduke19

I am just so sorry that you have to be here. I have found this to be one of the only comforts over the last few days and I hope you do too. (((HUGS)))

lovely40

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's awful to be in limbo like that. Whatever you are feeling right now is okay and is right for you and your DH. I had my ultrasound at 9 weeks and the baby was measuring 8wks. I waited a week to make my decision to have the D&C. It took me that long to come to terms with what was happening and I'm glad I waited. I also insisted on having a final ultrasound before the procedure. I'm so glad I did that for my piece of mind. By then the baby was only measuring 7wks and did not even look the same to me. It was such a relief to no for sure with no doubt in my mind. Take this week for you and your DH to process what is happening and know that your emotions are normal and okay. It is okay to hope and it is okay to doubt and it is okay to be angry, sad, etc. Everything you allow yourself to feel right now will eventually be a part of your healing. Peace be with you and I wish you the best.

ChicStylishMom2be

So deeply saddened and sorry for your loss. I was 13 wks on Wednesday and that same day had an ob appt and no heartbeat. NT scan was at 12 wks everything was as perfect as it could be! We even recorded little one wiggling around. We were devastated to not see that flicker on the screen especially just as I entered the 2nd trimester. My t/p are with you and your family!

AlmostMrsI

I'm so sorry.  I know first-hand how long that week can be. It is so hard to be in limbo trying to hold on to hope while preparing for the worst.  I had the exact same thing happen at my 8 wk appointment.  (A week later the ultrasound showed the baby was slightly smaller than before and I starting bleeding the same day.) 

milagrost

I feel your pain ladies,

I'm goint thru that right now...

I started spotting dark red on thursday, went to the ER and they did an ultrasound and found that beautiful heartbeat, cervix closed, diagnosed w threatened miscarriage, and was told to come back if I had bad pain and if I was soaking full pads in 1 hour.

my spotting went on to bleeding on saturday until I had a clot, like a light period, not heavy or painful... I went back to the ER I had another ultrasound done, and  the hb it stopped right before my eyes: one last beat and silence... my heart is broken, my soul is in pain, just devastated.

I decided to let it go naturally.

I was told that it was the size of a 6 week embryo, but I was supposed to be  8 weeks.