Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Crazy pregnancy related family drama (long)

Some of you have already heard about this. Wink But now I'm kind of getting a kick out of it instead of being upset about it so I'm going to post updates.

On Sunday, my G-ma was visiting. She and I were out alone and she went off the deep-end about how she had a feeling I was trying to get pregnant again. And then proceeded to tell me all sorts of crazy reasons why i should have a baby right now including:

That I was going against God's plan, that God wanted me to stay home with my babies, so I should wait to have more until that was feasible, that my mother didn't need the stress (she was just diagnosed with MS), that my DH's job wasn't stable enough yet, and that I couldn't' handle two kids.

 Whatever - I was upset a little by it but I brushed it off. About an hour later, my Aunt posted on the blog that I was effing crazy for considering such a thing with a seriously ill mother, and that I could tell her to "f*ck off" but she knew the truth and urged me to reconsider.

I was furious and hurt. And I got a BFP two hours later. Talk about taking the joy out of something. I was pissed that that moment was taken from me. So....

Turns out my sister informed my mom about all of this. No one knows that we are pregnant again yet. And she is PISSED OFF in a major way that they would say those things to me. She said she would never be upset by another beautiful grandchild. (Total relief to me!) So now she's one angry mama planning on calling them out.

I'm cowering. I wasn't the tattletale here....

Makes me want to keep my BFP secret for a while though! And there is your cray cray family drama for the day.

Re: Crazy pregnancy related family drama (long)

  • On a side note: I had no idea so many people thought they had decision making rights with my uterus!

  • Go momma! Hopefully she sets those two straight.
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  • Well Congrats! H&H 9 months! Tell them to stay out of your business!!
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  • Oh dear, gotta love the family drama.  So sorry to hear that it came right around your BFP.  No fun at all.

    I am always shocked at how much people think they have a say over our child-related decisions.  It truly is phenomenal! 

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  • When you tell her you're pregnant tell her it must have been in God's plans :)

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  • Woah, I can't belive they said all that to you! I'm so glad that your mom is (going to be) excited for your new LO.
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  • I'm so happy for you!  Congrats! 

    Wow, I can't believe they would even THINK about if you should or should have another LO....  so not their buisness.  Good for your Mom!  Hope she gives them hell.

  • Ugh, that sounds crappy!

    It's crazy that they even think they have a say in when or how many kids you should have! 

  • I love that your grandma knows what God's plan is for you. :)  
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  • They are going to feel like such a-holes when they find out you were already PG while they were harassing you.
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  • image CalinsBride:
    They are going to feel like such a-holes when they find out you were already PG while they were harassing you.

    Yep. And I fully intend on letting them know.

  • Congratulations! Don't worry about them. I was in the same situation when I announced my second (surprise) pregnancy. As long as you are happy about it that's all that matters.
  • Congrats on the baby!  Aways a blessing:)

    So glad that your sister and mom are there for you and stick up for you.  Hope that they give them heck!

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  • Congrats lady!!

    I would share my big news with Mom and sister and everyone I knew would be happy for me. And I would ask them to keep it to themselves.  There's nothing wrong with being selective about who you let know about a pregnancy.  Anyway since Granny & Auntie don't want to support a pregnancy there is no reason for them to know. 

    Also, if your Mom wants to tell her Mom and sister she doesn't appreciate them deciding for her how she should feel and then communicating that to her daughter, she has every right.  I know you feel wronged but really they wronged her.  Because of them, you're hesitant to share your news with her and she wants to know :)

    I hope they apologize to her and to you.

    Best wishes!

  • sounds about like my family. i can understand thier concern, but really the choice is yours and yours alone.

     

    My uncle has MS, and luckily its just now starting to get real bad. nothing phsycial yet, but mentally dealing with him is a challange.

     

    im pregnant with my second right now, and im pretty much the bread winner in my house.  it wasnt planned, we were gonna wait 5 or 6 years til we were stable and able to save money, but when condoms, spermicide and birth control all fail, its not something you argue with or make a fuss about.  My dad is estatic, when i told him, he said it was a good thing for my first to have a sister around her age, so they could grow up together (my dad's a twin and he has a real close relationship with his twin) which is ALL that was said about the pregnancy. actually everyone else has completely forgotten about it, idk how, since im getting as huge as a house. 

  • I am so excited for you, congrats! family is well, family! gotta love em and cant seem to get rid of them.

    when we were just barely preg everyone found out we were considering having a baby and thought they would tell me all the reasons I shouldn't have one... I'm disabled(I'm also the breadwinner as a nurse married to an electrician), that I'm too immature(I'm 28!), that I just am not mother material(all I ever wanted growing up is to b a mother) and then finally we told everyone we were already preg and excited. when it came out I was pregnant my mom stopped talking to me she said I was a selfish child and ungrateful for what god has given me in my life, that this isnt what god would want and I'm condemning my child to a horrible deprived life since I'm disabled. Didn't god bless us actually? We've been ttc for YEARS! And I'm not in a wheelchair or anything, even if I was I can still be an amazing mom! she still isnt even talking to me, oh well!

    So tell the nay sayers to F off and tell your mom that she can expect a bundle coming soon! Dont let anyone ruin your happy news, its still joyous and amazing news!

  • I'd really like to know how Gramma knows God's plan... hmmm.

     

    I'd totally keep your pg a secret from them, and let them know that if they don't approve, they don't have to spend time with your children.  

  • I'm glad your mom was happy for you, and both of you have a right to be offended! If that was my family chiding me, I would have definitely had a few choice words, but then again I can see being completely dumb-founded by how rude it was!

    People will talk. You deserve to be happy Wink

     

  • I know how you feel! My husband's entire family seems to think that they have the right to imput their own ideas about everything from breastfeeding to choices about pain meds during labor. But heaven forbid I get upset when I don't want to go along with their ideas..
  • image mrs.k 07:

    When you tell her you're pregnant tell her it must have been in God's plans :)

    This!!!! SOOOOOO This!!! Big Smile

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  • I love how everyone thinks they have a say in what we do with our lives and children!

    Our cousins who are a couple years older than us announced that they are expecting, so excited for them! Immediately after their big announcement, we got the "You're next!" from a bunch of relatives which was cute because little do they know we will be TTC in a little over a month! However, my husband's sister had an immediate resonse of "Oh no, they're not ready! They have WAY too much left to do before babies!" Not that what she said was so awful but what does she know?! We've done everything we wanted to before babies, married, house, solid jobs, 2 cats, puppy, etc...

    It's all about what you think is right for you. No matter what anyone says, they don't know the inner workings of your relationship and what's best for you. Congratulations and enjoy every minute!

  • Congrats on the new baby!  Family members can be crazy, they often don't think before they speak and consider the whole picture.  At the end of the day, you have your baby, kids, husband, and self to worry about.  It's hard not to look to your family for support, but it's good to be clear with them that it is not their place to criticize you.  I've had to make it clear with a few relatives that I am not interested in drama and if they want to bring it to me, then they will be removing themselves from my holiday card list and life until they can simmer down.  Hugs!
  • Congrats!  I am sorry that your family is causing such a stink!  This is the same reason I haven't said a word to my family that we are starting IVF in January.  I don't want them to steal my joy over this.  Don't let your family steal your joy!!
    Happily Mrs. Langford




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    1st OB/GYN Appt 3/21/11 No heartbeats, Mis-miscarriage @ 8 weeks D&C 3/23/11





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  • Well since your post was resurrected... You and I should swap some grandma stories one day. We have so much more in common than just DHs named Tom! Stick out tongue
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