2nd Trimester

Smoking while pregnant?!?!?!

Ok I just need to rant for a minute because I feel very upset and emotional (big surprise) about this.. My sister in law is pregnant too, about 8 weeks behind me.. and she is STILL smoking even though she is pregnant!! I am just totally shocked by this. I didnt think this kind of thing even happened anymore now that its so well known smoking causes damage to the baby! My inlaws think I'm weird and over reacting for being so upset about it. Saying "I smoked when i was pregnant with your husband and he turned out ok." !!!!!!!!???????? Seriously??? Why would someone's FIRST act as mother be to intentionally put your unborn child at serious risk!?!? ....UGH. That little one can't say "Hey mom i'd rather breathe oxygen than smoke. Can u please stop??" Pisses me off... I LOVE my inlaws but...we differ on children I guess.
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Re: Smoking while pregnant?!?!?!

  • klassy.  is she not going to use car seats either b/c you know..MIL probably didn't use those either.

    it just shows a really selfish side imo.  she would rather smoke for herself than worry about the health implications it's been proven to cause.  sounds like a winner.

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    emma - 9.18.08 & charlotte - 3.10.11
  • image violetvirgo:

    klassy.  is she not going to use car seats either b/c you know..MIL probably didn't use those either.

    it just shows a really selfish side imo.  she would rather smoke for herself than worry about the health implications it's been proven to cause.  sounds like a winner.

    This.

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  • I don't condone smoking at all during pregnancy. I think it's very selfish. However, I was with my sister when her OB told her it was not important that she stop smoking. He said the stress of stopping during a pregnancy could be just as harmful to the fetus as the smoking itself and just try to cut back the number of cigs per day.

    I don't buy this hooey but now when I see a pg woman smoking I wonder if she has an OB like my sister than gave her the go-ahead.

     

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  • This makes me really angry.  I was a smoker and I don't understand how anyone could care about smoking enough to endanger the health of your baby.

    It IS hard to quit. The thought of what I would do to my baby if I smoked while pregnant, made it quite easy.  If you don't love your baby enough to quit smoking, I honestly don't think you should be a mother.

     

     

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  • This is annoying!  I wish I could just go up to "Mothers" like that and rip the cig right out of their mouth. 
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  • Sadly many people of the older generation have said this and my standard reply is "yes and many more babies died or had health problems than now when we know it is harmful" but it never seems to matter.

    I am suprised that your SIL is still smoking though. Growing up with the information we had.

    My ex-husbands really good friend smoked the whole time she was pregnant and I mean REALLY smoked. Almost 2 packs a day. We all tried to talk to her about it and the couple just insisting their "doctor" said it was more dangerous for her to quit than keep smoking. When their son was born he was sent to the ICU with respitory problems and has had severe asthma and breathing problems since then. He is 8 now and is in and out of the hospital for treatments. They sure have different opinions about smoking now!

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  • image Hyfagal:

    I don't condone smoking at all during pregnancy. I think it's very selfish. However, I was with my sister when her OB told her it was not important that she stop smoking. He said the stress of stopping during a pregnancy could be just as harmful to the fetus as the smoking itself and just try to cut back the number of cigs per day.

    I don't buy this hooey but now when I see a pg woman smoking I wonder if she has an OB like my sister than gave her the go-ahead.

     

    ::kicks bump for posting before I actually wrote anything::

    While I don't agree with smoking while pregnant, I have to semi-agree with Hyfagal on this one. I know A few cases where it was recommended they try to atleast cut back to 1 or 2 a day versus quitting completely because of the stress and detox your body can go through.

    I was a smoker for 15 years, I'm sorry to say, and it was very hard to quit but I chose to have a child and give them the healthiest options and start possible in life so I quit long before we ever get pregnant. My husband quit as well so I wouldn't even be around it at all.

    I've seen the side effects and the differing opinions of dr's on smoking aids like Wellbutrin while pregnant and that is not a road I ever wanted to take. I personally went with the cold turkey method and occasionally still fight that pop up urge....but that's not an option for a lot of people.

    Knowing all this, I try not to judge too harshly (but I still do....every dang time. shrugs, sue me).

    Wow, that was longer than I planned. Whoops.

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  • image Sheas:
    This is annoying!  I wish I could just go up to "Mothers" like that and rip the cig right out of their mouth. 

    nah...it's natural selection.  it's fvcked up beyond belief, but i'm in serious favor of letting survival of the fittest (or smartest) take hold.

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  • I think the problem with older gen is that god only knows how much WORSE it is now. I'll bet any amount of money they have added tons more crap to cigs then when they used to smoke. I mean you know chemicals to help them burn slower or taste etc etc. So using that argument of "i did it and so and so is just fine" is total BS.
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  • image Hyfagal:

    I don't condone smoking at all during pregnancy. I think it's very selfish. However, I was with my sister when her OB told her it was not important that she stop smoking. He said the stress of stopping during a pregnancy could be just as harmful to the fetus as the smoking itself and just try to cut back the number of cigs per day.

    I don't buy this hooey but now when I see a pg woman smoking I wonder if she has an OB like my sister than gave her the go-ahead.

     

     I've heard from two friends who heavily smoked and were, er, surprised by their pregnancies that their doctors advised each of them NOT to quit cold turkey because the shock of this would be worse for the baby.  Both OBs did advise them to wean themselves off as quickly as they could without causing significant stress, though. Neither of my friends felt much like smoking anyway! 

    One had quit completely after about 6-8 weeks, the other got it down to 1-2 cigarettes a day.  Both had healthy baby girls, yay. 

    The lady who used to have my current job, on the other hand, willfully drank and smoked throughout the whole pregnancy, insisting that "whatever happened, happened."   Surprise!  Her baby was born early and underweight...

    The last lady I wanted to douse in kerosene and set on fire.  After baby was safely out of her womb, of course.  :)   I can't imagine being as selfish as your SIL is if she isn't trying to at least cut down. 

  • Does she plan on letting her newborn baby smoke?  That's essentially what she is doing while the baby is growing inside her.  I also hate when people say, well I did it and so and so turned out fine.  Really?  Are they sure about that? 
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  • I know exactly how you feel. My sister is pregnant, again. She smoked her entire pregnancy with the first one, and again this time. Our parents don't care because they both smoke, and my mom smoked through all 3 of her pregnancies. It disgusts me. The only upside is that at least she gave up pot for this pregnancy. Talk about sick IMO.
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  • Terribly selfish, IMO. And very unhealthy.

    And even if the doctor says quitting would be difficult and stressful for baby, s/he would still recommend cutting way back. I can only imagine the effects of 3 cigs a day would be much less than a pack a day.

  • I think it's beyond selfish to keep smoking while pregnant. And the "my mother did it" excuse is bullsh!t. My mother smoked all 9 months while she was pregnant with me and I came out fairly normal but that just means she was lucky.

    It's not even worth the risk. There's a reason that a lot of things were "okay then" and now are being strongly advised against.

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  • image violetvirgo:

    image Sheas:
    This is annoying!  I wish I could just go up to "Mothers" like that and rip the cig right out of their mouth. 

    nah...it's natural selection.  it's fvcked up beyond belief, but i'm in serious favor of letting survival of the fittest (or smartest) take hold.

    I love you Violet, but this comment pisses me off.  You know my family's history, I believe.  It's not my niece's fault that her mom smoked and snorted heroin her entire pregnancy.  Natural selection has nothing to do with it.   There are programs out there to help pregnant mothers who have smoking, drinking or addiction issues and I wish they could reach more people.  

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  • I quit and I haven't looked back and I do not plan on starting up again after LO is born. Yes, I have had cravings but if I were craving drano I sure as hell wouldn't go ahead and drink it! I can't imagine hurting my LO in any way...I'm supposed to do everything in my power to PROTECT him. 

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  • image iris427:
    image violetvirgo:

    image Sheas:
    This is annoying!  I wish I could just go up to "Mothers" like that and rip the cig right out of their mouth. 

    nah...it's natural selection.  it's fvcked up beyond belief, but i'm in serious favor of letting survival of the fittest (or smartest) take hold.

    I love you Violet, but this comment pisses me off.  You know my family's history, I believe.  It's not my niece's fault that her mom smoked and snorted heroin her entire pregnancy.  Natural selection has nothing to do with it.   There are programs out there to help pregnant mothers who have smoking, drinking or addiction issues and I wish they could reach more people.  

    you're right, it's not her fault.  and i wish these addicts could pull their sh!t together when it comes to ruining or causing problems with innocent children.  but you can't help someone who doesn't want it and while i use that the "let natural selection take care of it" in a tongue in cheek way often, sometimes  i sort of think there's something to it.  whether it's weeding out a genetic disposition to become an addict or some dummy riding a motorcycle without a helmet. 

    but you're 100%, the baby is the innocent in this.  and it really sucks that their number 1 protector won't step up.

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    emma - 9.18.08 & charlotte - 3.10.11
  • I hate when ppl say "I did xyz with my kids and they turned out just fine." My mom smoked when she was pregnant w/me (thanks mom for taking pictures of my baby bump being used as to hold up your ashtray) & although I never smoked, now that I'm pregnant, I can't believe she could do that.
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  • image violetvirgo:
    image iris427:
    image violetvirgo:

    image Sheas:
    This is annoying!  I wish I could just go up to "Mothers" like that and rip the cig right out of their mouth. 

    nah...it's natural selection.  it's fvcked up beyond belief, but i'm in serious favor of letting survival of the fittest (or smartest) take hold.

    I love you Violet, but this comment pisses me off.  You know my family's history, I believe.  It's not my niece's fault that her mom smoked and snorted heroin her entire pregnancy.  Natural selection has nothing to do with it.   There are programs out there to help pregnant mothers who have smoking, drinking or addiction issues and I wish they could reach more people.  

    you're right, it's not her fault.  and i wish these addicts could pull their sh!t together when it comes to ruining or causing problems with innocent children.  but you can't help someone who doesn't want it and while i use that the "let natural selection take care of it" in a tongue in cheek way often, sometimes  i sort of think there's something to it.  whether it's weeding out a genetic disposition to become an addict or some dummy riding a motorcycle without a helmet. 

    but you're 100%, the baby is the innocent in this.  and it really sucks that their number 1 protector won't step up.

    The problem is that I don't think it's actually weeding that tendency out.  It's just producing children who are born with health issues that they will potentially have to deal with their whole lives, and having many of them be raised in unstable homes or foster care.  And I worry that that creates a vicious cycle where those kids themselves are more likely to end up addicted and put their own kids through the same thing.

    When I was a doula, I had a client who was a drug-addicted prostitute who was in jail.  She was having a still-born 37 weeker.  I guess that is an example of natural selection weeding out her genes?  The problem is, she already had several other children who had been taken away by the state.  And there is a good chance she went out and got pregnant again in the years since.  So her genes didn't get eliminated from the gene pool.  All that happened was an innocent baby lost his life and her other children, for all intents and purposes, lost their mother.  Maybe I'm being a stick in the mud here, but I don't think there is anything funny or tongue in cheek about it.  Because when you talk about NS weeding out the genes of pregnant women, you are talking about dead babies.

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  • This absolutely infuriates me. We have a relative who kind of quit while she was pregnant and then after the birth, she started right up again and smokes in the house around her child and in the car. Nothing grosses me out more.

     

    I don't know how anyone alive can be moronic enough to continue smoking in 2010. Lung cancer, emphysema, asthma, disgusting teeth, other forms of related cancer. Come on! Give your baby a healthy start! 

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  • Ok I guess I will come out of the closet.  I am going to be honest here so please don't smash me with flames.  I am 36 and was a smoker for 19 years.  Yes 19 years.  I was never a heavy smoker, I generally smoked between 1/2 a pack to 1 pack when I was younger and bar hopping.  My husband and I didn't plan this pregnancy and I didn't expect it to be so easy to get pregnant as I have a lot of history of Endometriosis, ovarian cyst and PCOS.  Well, needless to say, when I got pregnant I was still smoking, so I had a big serious talk with my OB, because I didn't want to hurt my baby.  She told me that it would be harder on my baby to quit cold turkey and to do my best at cutting myself down to as little as I can, then quit if I could.  I did just that, I went from 10 to 5 a day and slowly I made it to the point where I was ready to go cold turkey.  I was really worried those first couple days because the anxiety is horrible, but I did it and I don't plan on ever going back.

    My point in telling you this story with the risk of being seriously flamed is, I don't think most non-smokers realize how horrible of an addiction it is.  It is harder to quit than heroine from the studies I have read.  I still to this day get horrible cravings, but I don't give in.  I made a special point to tell my husband (who doesn't smoke)  that I needed support not criticism.  I also told my co-workers this.  Some may not have liked the fact that I was still smoking but they respected my request for support and I think that is what truly helped me quit.  I don't agree with those Mom's that don't try to do what is right for their unborn child but I asking you all, that if you know someone who is in the same situation to try to encourage them to quit without attacking them.  It will help them more in the long run than the criticism.

     

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  • My SIL, well I guess technically my BIL's trashy fiance, smoked while pregnant with both girls.  She told people that her OB said it was ok.  Apparently he said it would be too stressful on her body to quit cold turkey while pregnant and that risk was worse than the smoking risk and that she should just cut down.  So if this was true you would think she would cut down as much as possible and maybe quit after the baby was born for the sake of her child?  No.  She started smoking full force again.  She got pregnant again and smoked through that pregnancy again.  Surprise both babies had low birth weights and thank god nothing else was wrong.  I remember visiting them in the hospital after baby 2 was born and we come into the room and she's not there.  We ask BIL and he says "oh I think she went for a walk."  Nope, she went to have a cigarette.  She complained that the nurses were mean to her.  Gee, I wonder why?
  • I quit cold turkey before I was ovulating so we could try to have a baby. I haven't wanted a cig since I immediately got pregnant.  I have been smoke free as long as I have been baby full and I think it was a great trade off.  If I had been surprised by a baby, I would have spent the initial days of pregnancy quitting so that baby lungs would not breathe smoke (have you seen that terrible commercial where the baby is in a smoke filled womb?)

    My half-sister was born premature, low birth weight, couldn't swallow and has asthma due to her mother not quitting before or during pregnancy.  I couldn't handle that.  I feel guilty for eating nachos for lunch today. 

  • image Hyfagal:

    I don't condone smoking at all during pregnancy. I think it's very selfish. However, I was with my sister when her OB told her it was not important that she stop smoking. He said the stress of stopping during a pregnancy could be just as harmful to the fetus as the smoking itself and just try to cut back the number of cigs per day.

    I don't buy this hooey but now when I see a pg woman smoking I wonder if she has an OB like my sister than gave her the go-ahead.

     

    I've heard this too. *IF* I hadn't been fortunate enough, timing wise, to have quit smoking a few months before getting pregnant, and I was still a smoker, I would at least have the presence of mind to friggin hide from people. You'd never actually SEE me smoking. If nothing else, how can you not feel disgusting being pregnant and smoking in front of other people and feeling the sting of their silent (and sometimes not silent) judgement?

  • I have dreams in which I have a puff and then feel bad, then wake up feeling guilty! I cut back while we were ttc (about two smokes a day) then stopped as soon as I got my BFP. DH is almost there, he didnt smoke for a few weeks, but had a few last weekend at a wedding. I was annoyed, but I know its easier for me. I still have cravings, but for me, its not even an option. I'm just hoping I'm just as strong for that first night out at the bar after the baby is born.
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  • these people make me sick. Selfish!!!!!
  • image alopdx:
    image jmcdow:

    Ok I guess I will come out of the closet.  I am going to be honest here so please don't smash me with flames.  I am 36 and was a smoker for 19 years.  Yes 19 years.  I was never a heavy smoker, I generally smoked between 1/2 a pack to 1 pack when I was younger and bar hopping.  My husband and I didn't plan this pregnancy and I didn't expect it to be so easy to get pregnant as I have a lot of history of Endometriosis, ovarian cyst and PCOS.  Well, needless to say, when I got pregnant I was still smoking, so I had a big serious talk with my OB, because I didn't want to hurt my baby.  She told me that it would be harder on my baby to quit cold turkey and to do my best at cutting myself down to as little as I can, then quit if I could.  I did just that, I went from 10 to 5 a day and slowly I made it to the point where I was ready to go cold turkey.  I was really worried those first couple days because the anxiety is horrible, but I did it and I don't plan on ever going back.

    My point in telling you this story with the risk of being seriously flamed is, I don't think most non-smokers realize how horrible of an addiction it is.  It is harder to quit than heroine from the studies I have read.  I still to this day get horrible cravings, but I don't give in.  I made a special point to tell my husband (who doesn't smoke)  that I needed support not criticism.  I also told my co-workers this.  Some may not have liked the fact that I was still smoking but they respected my request for support and I think that is what truly helped me quit.  I don't agree with those Mom's that don't try to do what is right for their unborn child but I asking you all, that if you know someone who is in the same situation to try to encourage them to quit without attacking them.  It will help them more in the long run than the criticism.


     

    But you did the right thing. These women are just using the "My OB told me not to quit cold turkey" as an excuse to not quit at all. 

    THIS THIS THIS!!!! I was a smoker. I know how hard it is to quit, as I've quit and failed many times. I finally quit with Chantix (not while I was pregnant) and that was actually fairly easy. But if I were in your shoes I don't know that I'd be able to do it without help. So yay for you that you did it!! You rock.

  • image katefres:
    image alopdx:
    image jmcdow:

    Ok I guess I will come out of the closet.  I am going to be honest here so please don't smash me with flames.  I am 36 and was a smoker for 19 years.  Yes 19 years.  I was never a heavy smoker, I generally smoked between 1/2 a pack to 1 pack when I was younger and bar hopping.  My husband and I didn't plan this pregnancy and I didn't expect it to be so easy to get pregnant as I have a lot of history of Endometriosis, ovarian cyst and PCOS.  Well, needless to say, when I got pregnant I was still smoking, so I had a big serious talk with my OB, because I didn't want to hurt my baby.  She told me that it would be harder on my baby to quit cold turkey and to do my best at cutting myself down to as little as I can, then quit if I could.  I did just that, I went from 10 to 5 a day and slowly I made it to the point where I was ready to go cold turkey.  I was really worried those first couple days because the anxiety is horrible, but I did it and I don't plan on ever going back.

    My point in telling you this story with the risk of being seriously flamed is, I don't think most non-smokers realize how horrible of an addiction it is.  It is harder to quit than heroine from the studies I have read.  I still to this day get horrible cravings, but I don't give in.  I made a special point to tell my husband (who doesn't smoke)  that I needed support not criticism.  I also told my co-workers this.  Some may not have liked the fact that I was still smoking but they respected my request for support and I think that is what truly helped me quit.  I don't agree with those Mom's that don't try to do what is right for their unborn child but I asking you all, that if you know someone who is in the same situation to try to encourage them to quit without attacking them.  It will help them more in the long run than the criticism.


     

    But you did the right thing. These women are just using the "My OB told me not to quit cold turkey" as an excuse to not quit at all. 

    THIS THIS THIS!!!! I was a smoker. I know how hard it is to quit, as I've quit and failed many times. I finally quit with Chantix (not while I was pregnant) and that was actually fairly easy. But if I were in your shoes I don't know that I'd be able to do it without help. So yay for you that you did it!! You rock.

    Well thank you to both of you, but I still feel quilty and some people are really black or white about this subject.  It was truly the hardest thing I ever did, but one of the things that made me quit was, when I was a young kid my parents smoked and I hated it.  I remember how much it bothered me when I was little and I couldn't stand the thought of my daughter being upset or disappointed in me seeing me smoke.  And yes my Mother smoked during her whole pregnancy with me, so if we get technical I had been a smoke since the day I was conceived.

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