3rd Trimester

Poll: Will (or do) you leash your child?

Yeah yeah yeah...this falls into the "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE UNTIL YOU HAVE A CHILD!" category, but...

Backstory:
There is an evil part of me that enjoys watching the passive aggressive snark b/w 2 of my mom friends. Friend1 is a SAHM and posts on FB ALLTHETIME about her latest weelicious recipe and how she just cleaned her floors. Or about how her DS just said the cutest thing OMGLOLZ!! She posted a pic of him in a leash in an environment where you wouldn't really need one (think playground or something).
Friend2 is a WM (working mom) and she gets really annoyed with F1's posts. So she made a snarky PA comment on the picture, like "Is that a LEASH on DS? Wow, I didn't think that a toddler was so hard to chase after a toddler in ABC place. We are teaching DD to hold hands or she doesn't get to walk around." Their kids are the same age.
This unleashed (HA!) a shitshow of comments from F1's other SAHM friends, saying things about how darn cute DS looked in his leash backpack, and how she was soooo smart for using one.

So...the question remains...

Will you use one of those backpack leash things on your child?

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Re: Poll: Will (or do) you leash your child?

  • At disneyland, maybe...

    At the park or grocery store, probably not...

  • I have a leash for my DS, but we have just never felt like using it. I am not against them and could see needing it more if you have a kid who hates the stroller but is a runner.
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  • Yes, I do.  BUT, only at places like the zoo where he wants to walk freely and it is crowded, never at the park or places like that. he is not a hand holder and he is FAST (and I am not - especially these days).  When it comes down to keeping my child safe, I have no qualms about doing what it takes.  It also helps that he LOVES his backpack and asks to wear it.
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  • We will not leash our child but I am not one of those people that is against them or the parents that choose to use them. I do think it's silly to have one at the playground....isn't that where kids are supposed to run around and play?
  • I do, but not all of the time. DD is *VERY* prone to nursemaids elbow. After seeing the pain she's been through from me dislocating her elbow, I went out and bought one for the times I need to keep her safe (mainly when she was younger and DS was a newborn).  It's worth the dirty looks to avoid doing that to her again.
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  • it really depends on  the child and the enviroment I am in. If I am walking down the street, I am sure I would like to have one so she doesnt accidently take off in front of a car or something. Other than that no, not really
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  • Different strokes for different folks! I have always hated the idea!! My parents took their four kids to Disney World all under age 10 and got away with never using leashes...However, I did wander away and get lost for 10 minutes here and there.lol!

    So, while I hate the leash thing (my child is not a dog!) I think I might consider having one if we do make a trip to disney world or another very crowded place. This way, if I get distracted and ds makes a run for it he won't get too far and won't get lose.  I can see where some mom's might rely on it although most probably don't really have a use for it.

    Now using it at the park...probably not necessary. :)

    Sounds like your friends have fun with each other, haha

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  • I'm saying no, but I will make the decision if it comes up.  I think a lot of times, they are unnecessary, but there are definitely instances where they are needed for certain children.  IDK until I'm in a situation where I have to choose.
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  • I personally would not but I wouldn't judge someone who did.  Toddlers are difficult.  I'm a believer in learning to hold hands and learning limits and boundries but every kid and every parent is different.

    Whenever I see someone with a kid in one though I think of my mom who had 4 kids, at one point aged 9, 6, 3 and 1 and we never even had a double stroller.  I can remember going on walks, going to the mall, etc.  No leashes on us and we're all still here.

  • I personally would rather have people judge me for leashing my child and know where she is than have them watching me run around screaming my child's name after she wanders away in the crowd.

    I would love to say that I'll be able to watch her all the time, hold her hand, control her every impulse but realistically children wander and as hard as I try I may not be able to maintain eye contact every second we're in a crowded place.

    That being said I prob won't use one in a grocery store or other public setting just because we're out. I'll try to reserve use of the leash for the zoo, parks, festivals etc.

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  • oh boy, here we go.....
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  • When DD was 2 or so we got one of those monkey backpack ones to try with her for crowded places (shopping mall, Disneyland, etc.) when she wanted to be independent but I wanted her closeby.

    Uhm, yeah, my kid was the one who figured out very quickly that if she took off running with it on, that when the leash got taut she would fall down. She would do it and then laugh HYSTERICALLY when she fell, so it became a game. You think you get funny looks by having your kid on a leash? You get even funnier looks by having your kid on a leash who is doing THAT! 

    Needless to say, it didn't last very long. ;-)


    Hardworking mom to 2 great kids: J 9/04 and L 11/10

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  • Never. Plain and simple. [Flame on!]
    I'm one of those that believe it's lazy parenting.
     
    I'm the oldest of 4 kids, including twin boys, and we went to Disneyland every summer w/o leashes. We simply held hands. What a concept!  
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  • Hmm, I'm not sure.  I've always leaned toward no, but I understand the argument of why they could be used in a really busy public place, especially considering that my sister and myself both got lost in an amusement part on separate occasions.  Although I was far too old to be leashed when it happened to me (probably 8-ish), I understand how easily and quickly it can happen.
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  • 100% absolutely. I did with DS and I will with DD if necessary. 

     

    I hate the implication that you can't teach a child to hold your hand while they have a harness on. I spent a lot of time teaching DS to hold my hand and listen to me while having the monkey backpack as a back-up safety device.

     

    DS is special needs and had to be leashed in certain situations. He has auditory sensory issues and can not process commands like 'STOP!' quickly enough to react in times of danger. Add that to his limited safety awareness and hyperactivity/impulsivity (quoted directly from his latest evaluation) and walking down the sidewalk is an extremely dangerous practice in his young life. 

    Despite all of this I was hesitant to bring him out with a leash on due to judgmental asssholes who have no clue what is going on in our lives. Then one day he got out of my hand and ran for the street. I could not catch him and luckily a complete stranger caught him as he was stepping off the curb. I realized then that it does not matter one bit what someone else thinks as long as my son is alive.

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  • image heyitsme:

    When DD was 2 or so we got one of those monkey backpack ones to try with her for crowded places (shopping mall, Disneyland, etc.) when she wanted to be independent but I wanted her closeby.

    Uhm, yeah, my kid was the one who figured out very quickly that if she took off running with it on, that when the leash got taut she would fall down. She would do it and then laugh HYSTERICALLY when she fell, so it became a game. You think you get funny looks by having your kid on a leash? You get even funnier looks by having your kid on a leash who is doing THAT! 

    Needless to say, it didn't last very long. ;-)

    I think this is one of the thinking points for me. What do you do if someone walks b/w you and your kid? Does your LO get clotheslined?

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  • Yes.

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  • I'm open to them in certain situations like airports, amusements parks, etc. 

    I wouldn't use one at the playground.  Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of taking a kid there to play (ie, kid runs around wildly until tired out)?  I'm getting mental images of your friend's son getting pushed on a swing and then being yanked back down to the ground by his leash. 

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  • For me it depends on the child, my middle brother was an escape artist, he would be gone in the time it took you to pay the cashier, and he was mobile and 31lbs at a year old, so holding him all the time was a nightmare.

    My youngest brother wouldn't leave your side, if I told him to hold on to my pants he would. 

    So, I'm not opposed to it, it just depends on the kid.

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  • image jc80606:
    oh boy, here we go.....

    Yup. It was a boring day. FIgured I'd spice it up a little Wink

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  • yeah, we use one for DD. But only in crowded areas like malls or amusment parks. She doesnt like to sit in a stroller for to long.

  • My son is very active and constantly on the go, with him only being a year old and another baby due in december, I'm starting to think about keeping one as a backup just in case I need it. My mother in law says that my son reminds her of my husband and how active he was, and she reluctantly had to use one with my husband when he was younger. 
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  • Ideally... No.. but I'm not the type to say never.  Some kids are runners and sometimes hand holding just doesn't work for some kids.  I wouldn't be above using it if it were necessary for the safety of my child.
  • absolutely- harness and face cone too!   We may even try kennel training if he poops on the floor. 

     

  • With triplets, yes we have them, though we don't really use them because we have good hand holders and try not to go out and about to busy places unless we have a third adult to help us. I don't see it as a leash but as a safety measure. Better have your child on a tether and safe than running out into the street or into a group of strangers...the what ifs freak me out.
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  • If we were in a very crowded place I might consider it, but everyday places... no way.
  • image Kaseybill:

    absolutely- harness and face cone too!   We may even try kennel training if he poops on the floor. 

     

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    "Always."  

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    May, gurl.  May.  

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  • We HAVE a backpack leash for DS but we only use it when we are somewhere like the zoo, farmers market, festivals (we go to them alot) places that if he happens to slip away it would be dangerous.

    A lot of people pull the "well if you were watching your kid and holding their hand then you wouldn't need the leash" BUT have you ever tried to hold a toddler/preschoolers hand for an hour without them pulling away or just getting tired of holding your hand? Try holding your hand above your head, that's how little kids feel holding your hand forever.

    IMO it shouldn't be used constantly, but it's handy to have. BUT the parents that misuse it, and gank on the end of it when the kid walks too far like it's a dog, shouldn't use them.

  • We use them for very busy areas. Airports, high traffic tourist spots, etc. I've had know-it-alls tell me I'm damaging my child's self esteem, etc. It's all crap. It's a way to keep your child safe and give them some freedom at the same time.

    No, we don't use them at the grocery store or church. (i actually have a friend who used one at church and I thought it was ridiculous.)

    For people who want to critisize them in general I suggest they go ask the parents of missing children how ridiculous a tether sounds.

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