Trying to Get Pregnant

Sigh. What do you do when you get really down?

I've been off BC since late April (after having been on them since the age of 16!)... started charting in May.  I was really hopeful our last cycle was going to be "it"... our timing wasn't optimal, but it wasn't terrible either.

I'm just feeling so down right now... so happy for all the recent BFP's on the board, but sad for myself, ya know?  Hoping that this is the cycle that will be the winner, but don't want to get my hopes up too much either.  And the most frustrating part of it is knowing that there's absolutely nothing I can do to ensure success.  

I know I just have to keep going, one foot in front of the other, but if anyone has been on this journey for a few cycles, how do you keep your hopes up?  Any tips you can share? :) 

July 20th, 2012: Never forget the day the fb douchebags tried so hard, but ultimately failed. Viva la October 2011! Yeah, I called you douchebags.

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BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11. AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

***BFP Chart***

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

Re: Sigh. What do you do when you get really down?

  • For me, because of my immune blood disorder, I always assumed I would adopt my children.  Now that I'm almost thirty and happily married we want to try for our own first!  So for me, the way I look at it is that I am going to be beyond excited if it happens...if it doesn't happen then we have the wonderful option of adoption (and in that case no biological clock ticking!!!!)  Good luck to you----my only issue so far has been getting my body back in order after 5 years of BC!
    sig-1
  • No tips, but I feel the same.  Been off BCP since March, and I feel like "why haven't we been able to make this happen yet?"  I was fine until this cycle, and it's all of a sudden hit me now.  I know all the 12-months-for-a-healthy-couple stuff, but it doesn't make it any easier. 

    Don't know what to tell you, but I feel for you and hope that this just a passing funk for both of us, and that we come out of it soon.

  • I'm sorry your are feeling down and upset.  It's really hard when everyone around you is super happy and getting their BFPs and you aren't.  It's completely natural to be upset and you are entitled to those feelings.  Just look at the big picture though and remember everything happens for a reason (totally my philosophy).  I know some people absolutely hate hearing that and don't believe it, but there must be some reason why we don't always get what we want, when we want it, right?.  

    Just keep you chin up and you are going to be just fine! Stay positive and I really hope this next cycle you will get your BFP!  GL and tons of baby dust your way*

    image


    *Married my best friend 06.20.09 - BFP 03.15.11 - Due 11.26.11*
  • Honestly I look around me at all the other friends and women that I know who took longer to conceive than they thought they would. Not to constantly compare but its helpful to know several good friends IRL (and on these boards) that have struggled with infertility. They keep going and so I figure I can too. It makes me feel more normal to know that so  many others struggle with conceiving as well.

    Also I have a laundry list of things I want to finish before a L/O comes along. Picture projects, cleaning out old clothes/closets, saving money, etc. So I find that I just think, "oh, now I'll have more time to work on those projects."

    I'm sorry you are feeling down. There were a lot of BFPs on this board this weekend... which is both great and hard at the same time.

    image

    "Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." 
    -Henry David Thoreau 

    I am Bumping from my phone so please forgive typos and brevity.
  • image Tropicalbride09:

    I'm sorry your are feeling down and upset.  It's really hard when everyone around you is super happy and getting their BFPs and you aren't.  It's completely natural to be upset and you are entitled to those feelings.  Just look at the big picture though and remember everything happens for a reason (totally my philosophy).  I know some people absolutely hate hearing that and don't believe it, but there must be some reason why we don't always get what we want, when we want it, right?.  

    Just keep you chin up and you are going to be just fine! Stay positive and I really hope this next cycle you will get your BFP!  GL and tons of baby dust your way*

    Ditto

    Married & TTC #1 since 8/28/10 BFP #1 10/25/10 - EDD 7/5/11 -M/C 11/10/10 BFP #2 12/16/10 - EDD 8/26/11 - BORN 8/10/11 Photobucket Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I actually broke down & had some drinks (wine) in the TWW this month.  I'm coming to terms it might not happen by one year of TTC (in January) since there isn't any consistancy in my cycles what so ever.

    image
    TTC January 2010

    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13


  • Well I wish I was writing to give you uplifting words of joy but I had a very difficult day today.  AF came to visit 2 days ago.  Today I went to a baby shower for a good friend who is expecting twins.  Upon arriving found out that 3 more girls I went to high school with were all in attendance and expecting as well.

     

    I am very ashamed of myself for the awful way I felt towards them.  I had to excuse myself early to come home.  I cried and DH just doesn't know why.  I am aware that we have only been trying for 3 months now and that is not considered a long time.  I think the baby shower just overwhelmed me today!

    Good Luck to everyone!  Baby dust all over* 

    BabyName Ticker
  • I agree with the pp about the importance of attitude. I went off BCP over a year and a half ago and we haven't gotten pregnant yet.  It helps me to remember how long it has taken other women and the struggles they face and it makes my situation seem not as bad. I will admit that I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I'm fine knowing I'm doing the best I can to make each cycle successful. Unfortunately there are also times where I get down for a day or so about how long we have been trying. It helps to talk with a couple of close friends who know the situation as well as my husband during the more challenging times. I hope you feel better soon and good luck!

    Edited for spelling.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I feel increased pressure due to my age.

    We are only on cycle three. I stopped my BCP's (after 14 years) and we started to TTC right away. I am trying to be chill and just do the best I can to ensure success (charting, OPK's, healthy eating/lifestyle) but it's hard.

     I guess I don't have any words of wisdom, but just wanted to say you aren't alone.

    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

    image

  • image Tropicalbride09:

    Just look at the big picture though and remember everything happens for a reason (totally my philosophy).  I know some people absolutely hate hearing that and don't believe it, but there must be some reason why we don't always get what we want, when we want it, right?.  

    I am one of those people that completely disagrees and think this line is bullshiit. Complete & utter bs.

    Happy-I know it is much easier said than done, but I try to find something to focus on while I am waiting.(projects, decorating, new recipes) GL!

    Infertility, Life & Loss Blog
    image image
    Love & luck to my 3TC girls. Congrats to Omega-The boys are here!
    If there's one thing I've learned while waiting my turn,
    it's that in each life some rain falls but you also get some sun.
    After 2 years & 2 losses, our little man arrived 8-2011.
  • Thanks, everyone.  It doesn't get us to shangri-la like 2 lines on a pg test would, but it's worth a lot to know that you aren't alone, even if we sometimes feel very alone because not many people in "real life" know what we're going through right now.

    XOXO 

    July 20th, 2012: Never forget the day the fb douchebags tried so hard, but ultimately failed. Viva la October 2011! Yeah, I called you douchebags.

    image

    BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11. AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    ***BFP Chart***

    "There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

  • Eh, I have myself a good cry on CD1, and often a bottle of wine and move on. I try early on to find the positives of the timing of a BFP that cycle to give myself something to look forward to. I posted yesterday about the first time a  BFP really got me down, and being able to let it out here is helpful, because you ladies get it. I guess that's how I deal.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    P/SAIF Welcome
    Invisible Finish Line
    3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
    7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
    DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
  • image AmberZ2be:
    image Tropicalbride09:

    Just look at the big picture though and remember everything happens for a reason (totally my philosophy).  I know some people absolutely hate hearing that and don't believe it, but there must be some reason why we don't always get what we want, when we want it, right?.  

    I am one of those people that completely disagrees and think this line is bullshiit. Complete & utter bs.

    Happy-I know it is much easier said than done, but I try to find something to focus on while I am waiting.(projects, decorating, new recipes) GL!

    I agree.
    I am usually in a funk for a few days and then try to pick myself up and find positive things. One more month to save money, one more month to lose weight, blah blah blah. By CD 10 or so I am usually back to hoping. It gest harder every month though. ((hugs))

                                        DS born 12/03/2011 @ 36w3d
     Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers

    TTC #2: m/c 01/18/13  at 7 weeks // BFP again! Due date 03/20/2014

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • I had my first meltdown this cycle and I haven't even confirmed ovulation. I was upset that we missed sex on what I think will be the day before O. I cried and had a drink, and then tried to stay positive. Having all of you to talk to really helps too. No one else seems to understand.
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility

    TTC #1
    IUI #1 - #3 with Clomid = BFN's
    IUI #4 + Follistim = BFP
    Grayson James arrived on 7/28/12!

    TTC #2 
    IUI #1 + Follistim 9/13/13 = BFN
    IUI #2 + Follistim 10/9/13 = BFN 
    IUI #3 + Follistim 12/2/13 = BFN
    IUI #4 + Follistim 1/27/14 = BFN

    IVF #1 w/ ICSI + PGS: Lupron/Follistim/Menopur - ER 4/13 (19R, 13F) 
  • I have been wondering about this too.  We've been TTC for about a year and a half now.  I'm currently taking Clomid and am hopeful it will eventually do the trick.  I have been really stressed lately as a number of friends and now family members on both sides of our immediate families are announcing they're pregnant.  I really am happy for them, but SOOOO jealous at the same time.  It's so hard not to worry about what might be wrong....  It will never make sense to me how it's so "easy" for some and not for others.  

    I agree, I have to keep going, and try my best not to worry about it.  This weekend, however, has been hard.  Hopefully I'll get my mind off of it somehow.  

  • image HappyAardvark:

    Thanks, everyone.  It doesn't get us to shangri-la like 2 lines on a pg test would, but it's worth a lot to know that you aren't alone, even if we sometimes feel very alone because not many people in "real life" know what we're going through right now.

    XOXO 

    I don't know what the answer is, HA, but thank you for posting this.  It looks like many of us are feeling similarly, and for me, it helps just seeing that I'm not alone in my disappointment and sadness.  Other than DH, my mom, and my BF, no one IRL knows we're TTC.  I feel like I'm burdening them with all of my emotional messes b/c they're the only ones I have.  Today was especially hard, and I'm still figuring out how to deal w/ it.

    ::hugs::

    My BFP Chart

    image


    Becoming a better role model for my daughter, one day at a time

     image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 

  • image Tropicalbride09:

    I'm sorry your are feeling down and upset.  It's really hard when everyone around you is super happy and getting their BFPs and you aren't.  It's completely natural to be upset and you are entitled to those feelings.  Just look at the big picture though and remember everything happens for a reason (totally my philosophy).  I know some people absolutely hate hearing that and don't believe it, but there must be some reason why we don't always get what we want, when we want it, right?.  

    Just keep you chin up and you are going to be just fine! Stay positive and I really hope this next cycle you will get your BFP!  GL and tons of baby dust your way*

    So, the fact that I don't really ovulate on my own and that I have to pay thousands of dollars a month is for a reason?  Now I feel even more depressed

    image

    IUI#4 Bravelle + Femara + Trigger + IUI = BFP!!

    Baby Papps born 10/10/11 <3

  • image AmberZ2be:
    image Tropicalbride09:

    Just look at the big picture though and remember everything happens for a reason (totally my philosophy).  I know some people absolutely hate hearing that and don't believe it, but there must be some reason why we don't always get what we want, when we want it, right?.  

    I am one of those people that completely disagrees and think this line is bullshiit. Complete & utter bs.

    Happy-I know it is much easier said than done, but I try to find something to focus on while I am waiting.(projects, decorating, new recipes) GL!

    Word.  That's what people say to make them feel better about bad sh!t happening.  My philosophy is "Bad sh!t happens, sometimes for no reason at all."

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